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  1. #161
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    Yep, look I really try to live by the each to their own mentality.
    So long as it's not hurting anyone, which is the case here.
    Personally I think they're deluding themselves and being a little too precious about their relationship.

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  3. #162
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    Default Spinoff - when does it become okay to judge?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ngaiz View Post
    @VicPark I agree I've made a massive assumption in order to offer a different perspective and I may be very far from the truth. @A-Squared, no there was no mention of PND but I don't believe she should have to justify the reasons behind her and her husbands decision. Just like I don't believe VP should have to justify sleep training her boys. If it works for your family and everyone is happy that's all that matters. Right?..

    By highlighting my assumption, I guess the only answer to the OP is that the only time it is OK to judge is when we have ALL the facts.
    I see what're you're coming from and no she shouldn't have to 'justify' them as such. But as you say if we have ALL the facts we can then make a correct judgement but in that case we don't so, that's why some of us (in fact judging by that thread most of us) say what she's doing is too often and selfish.

    Does anyone know if she's replied to any of the backlash?

  4. #163
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    I see what're you're coming from and no she shouldn't have to 'justify' them as such. But as you say if we have ALL the facts we can then make a correct judgement but in that case we don't so, that's why some of us (in fact judging by that thread most of us) say what she's doing is too often and selfish.

    Does anyone know if she's replied to any of the backlash?
    http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyl...free-weekends/

  5. #164
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    Default Spinoff - when does it become okay to judge?

    Would people's judgement change if it was a 16/17/18 year old teenage mum who left her kid with her mum 2 nights per week so she could recharge her batteries by socialising/partying with friends?

    (Edit: genuine question. Still thinking about my own answer).
    Last edited by VicPark; 14-05-2016 at 18:27.

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  7. #165
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    Default Spinoff - when does it become okay to judge?

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Would people's judgement change if it was a 16/17/18 year old teenage mum who left her kid with her mum 2 nights per week so she could recharge her batteries by socialising/partying with friends?

    (Edit: genuine question. Still thinking about my own answer).
    Personally in that circumstance no I wouldn't change by opinion, i think being that young I think she'd need a break - not to be crazy and party hard every weekend - but to socialise and set time aside to study and just be a kid which technically she still is I think would be a good thing for her and her child - I consider myself very strong and independent but not when I was 16/17 , especially if I was single , I definitely wouldn't have coped without support from my family
    Last edited by Elijahs Mum; 14-05-2016 at 18:37.

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  9. #166
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Would people's judgement change if it was a 16/17/18 year old teenage mum who left her kid with her mum 2 nights per week so she could recharge her batteries by socialising/partying with friends?

    (Edit: genuine question. Still thinking about my own answer).
    I have only been reading along until now, but I think partying with friends and having alone time with your partner are vastly different things, so I would have a different judgement (regardless of their age).

    I think it's really important for couples to have some alone time, whether that be for an hour each night when the kids are in bed or going out for dinner etc.
    While I do enjoy a night with friends occasionally, I don't think it has the same importance as time with my dh.

  10. #167
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    Look she obviously sees no harm in what she's doing. Let's just hope her daughter does okay in the future too.

  11. #168
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomicmama View Post
    I have only been reading along until now, but I think partying with friends and having alone time with your partner are vastly different things, so I would have a different judgement (regardless of their age).
    Problem is we don't know what they're doing on weekends. 2 nights does allow for a big night on Friday and recovery Saturday, but again we don't know.

    I tend to agree we really all need a full story before making a fair judgement

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  13. #169
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    Problem is we don't know what they're doing on weekends. 2 nights does allow for a big night on Friday and recovery Saturday, but again we don't know.

    I tend to agree we really all need a full story before making a fair judgement
    They may well be having a big night together... I still think time together holds a higher importance than with friends.

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  15. #170
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Would people's judgement change if it was a 16/17/18 year old teenage mum who left her kid with her mum 2 nights per week so she could recharge her batteries by socialising/partying with friends?

    (Edit: genuine question. Still thinking about my own answer).
    No, I'd be jealous, lol. I had my son when I was 17 and didn't set foot into a bar or pub until I was well into my 20's. But I never wanted to when my child was a baby.
    To answer your hypothetical question, I'd be thinking that a mum aged 16/17/18 should be entitled to a break just the same as a 30 year old. I would be asking where the 16 year olds' own mother was if she was out partying with a baby to look after. It wouldn't be the fact that she was taking a weekend to recharge, I'd be now concerned with the activities she was involved in and wondering if her wellbeing was actually being made a priority by those around her and whoever was babysitting, presumably her own mother. I'd also be concerned that she could be struggling and possibly suffering from PND, which wouldn't be uncommon for a teen mum. If she was spending her weekends getting trashed and being reckless, I would feel concerned, definitely. If she was using her free time simply being a teen, going out with friends etc and otherwise generally being responsible, no I wouldn't judge.
    Last edited by ~Marigold~; 14-05-2016 at 19:02.

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