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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    So it seems judgement is only okay if everyone judges people the way they want them to. But if they judge them differently, they aren't allowed to judge!? 🤔
    I'm way tired after working 50hours this week but I don't get this? I just don't see why people are so getting so judgemental about the Rachel Finch situation. I just see it as having a village is something so missed in society these days, and people often use daycare as a village...but a toddler spends two nights and one day with doting, loving grandparents and the internet breaks because these parents are so selfish. I just don't get it. I really don't. I just see it as a sad reflection on society that we need to judge a mother who has a village so fiercely. Why have pitch forks out over this? A child who is happy and loved.

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  3. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    So it seems judgement is only okay if everyone judges people the way they want them to. But if they judge them differently, they aren't allowed to judge!? 🤔
    That's the BH way!

    - judge covertly not overly
    - judge parent led parenting.. Unless the parents want a break 2/7 nights to have a shag then that's ok
    - judge sleep trainers but not nap takers
    - judge new members for doing **** but get judged for judging longstanding members for doing the same

    Bottom line judge with the majority and you'll be fine. Judge on your own merits and you'll be judged for being judgemental.

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  5. #103
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    For me it's not about a tally of the *total* hours spent with your kid.

    It's about the fact that the finches *chose* to significantly under-utilise the time they *could* have spent with their kid... So they could spend time together (..having a shag). They give up 2 nights per week with their kid. 2/7 nights they gave up. That they could have spent with their kid. So they could shag.
    Surely they don't need a babysitter to shag. I don't think that's the reason. Maybe she's just not suited to being a full time mum. Maybe she genuinely can't cope with the demands of motherhood 7 days a week. Maybe she feels sh!t about it, maybe she feels like she isn't the mother she thought she would be. Maybe having a little break every week is what she needs to feel human. As others have stated, it's not something many of us do as often as she does, but that doesn't mean people can sit on their holier than thou thrones and put sh!t on her.
    Or, they can. Whatever.

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  7. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    I'm way tired after working 50hours this week but I don't get this? I just don't see why people are so getting so judgemental about the Rachel Finch situation. I just see it as having a village is something so missed in society these days, and people often use daycare as a village...but a toddler spends two nights and one day with doting, loving grandparents and the internet breaks because these parents are so selfish. I just don't get it. I really don't. I just see it as a sad reflection on society that we need to judge a mother who has a village so fiercely. Why have pitch forks out over this? A child who is happy and loved.
    Maybe finch has a slave instead of a village?

  8. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Nothing wrong with being selfish 1 night every few weeks. 2/7 night is OTT IMO.
    - You're missing out on 25%+ of your kids life that you could have been involved in. Had you chosen them over your self.
    But they're with the child every day during the week, and on Sundays...so, so what? This week I will have seen my kids for a grand total of 5 hours so far...and it's Fri night. Sunday they are going to their grandparents (grandparents request cause they miss them so much), and tomorrow I'm staying home while DH does the sport and party runs. I'll probably see my kids for 12 hours this whole week...family time = 0. Rachel Finch will see her child more than I see mine. I will take two hours tomorrow night to spend time with my DH because we haven't seen each other all week. We'll possibly have a shag fest on Sunday. My reasons for seeing my kids so little this week are entirely selfish...building a career that I want, but don't need.

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  10. #106
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    You know, as women and mothers I don't understand why we don't respect what other mothers choose to do. We have no idea what their life entails. We know nothing about mental state, marriage stability etc. I am constantly baffled as to why we feel the need to pick apart parenting decisions without having the full story. I think good on them for being confident enough with their decision to be open about it. Every parent should have the right to parent how they wish (abuse/neglect aside) and i say good on her. If she's making things work for HER family than that's awesome 👍

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  12. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Maybe finch has a slave instead of a village?
    Happy willing grandparents = slave? Doubt it. I reckon they could afford a nanny if the grandparents were unwilling.

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  14. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Maybe finch has a slave instead of a village?
    I think your actually sounding a bit envious? how often does your mum or MIL look after your kids?

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  16. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    But they're with the child every day during the week, and on Sundays...so, so what? This week I will have seen my kids for a grand total of 5 hours so far...and it's Fri night. Sunday they are going to their grandparents (grandparents request cause they miss them so much), and tomorrow I'm staying home while DH does the sport and party runs. I'll probably see my kids for 12 hours this whole week...family time = 0. Rachel Finch will see her child more than I see mine. I will take two hours tomorrow night to spend time with my DH because we haven't seen each other all week. We'll possibly have a shag fest on Sunday. My reasons for seeing my kids so little this week are entirely selfish...building a career that I want, but don't need.
    I think you're missing my point. Probably because I haven't been that clear. It's not about total hours. It's about the fact that the finches are *giving up* a significant chunk of time that they could have spent with their kid ... So they could spend 'quality' time together. Big fat different between personal alone time and building a career!!

    Not totals of what they did do, but totals of what they chose to give up.

  17. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    Voicing negative judgements about stuff that doesn't concern me is something I don't want to do. For me. Work in progress? YES!! But at the end of the day, it doesn't achieve anything (for me).
    I always think these conversations are worth having but people seem to get so snarky/PA/defensive etc... the discussion gets lost.
    This is what i am getting at.
    I don't understand why people get defensive and seemingly offended over something that has no impact on their life or the choices they make.
    To me, the Rachael "issue" is a much smaller thing then some are making it into.

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