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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Yes you're right it's their choice however if they announce said choice in the media then they are choosing to open up their choices to the court of public opinion.
    Yep you are right. I have said previously it was a pretty stupid move. They must have expected some backlash or else they are pretty naive.

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  3. #92
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    I still don't get the uproar over this sorry.

    No it isn't for everyone, and that's me included, but that doesn't mean i can say it's irresponsible or selfish etc.

    Their child is with one of their parents 24 hours of the day during the week, then on Sunday all 3 are together.

    If you were to add up all the hours the child is with it's parents through the week, and the Sunday, it would be a lot more than children in childcare 5 days, who spend the entire weekend at home.
    I know plenty of parents who finish work early then go home to have a quiet couple of hours alone or with their other half before going to pick the kids up from childcare. Is that selfish too?

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  5. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Bingo! Someone *choosing* to live a *child free* life 1.5-2/7 days per week is what I find so distasteful. Don't have kids if you only *want* them 5 nights per week!
    Some could also say choosing to go back to work (either for financial reasons or for stimulation) and putting your kids in day care is distasteful , don't have kids if you can't afford/want to stay at home with them 5 days a week - see how it can be twisted to suit your own circumstances ?
    Just because what you do seems right to you does not make it right for everyone else - if the kids are loved and happy then who gives a rats ***

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  7. #94
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    I just don't get why being a bit selfish as a parent is a bad thing? Why do we have to give up our entire self when we have kids? For what? To struggle with our emotions, to not enjoy our kids like we might if we had regular breaks, so we can look down on our noses at those who do have regular breaks? No thanks. Life is short, do all the things 😉 I want to show my kids that having children doesn't mean you have to give up everything else to be a 'good parent.' Why would anyone sign up for that? Yuk. No thanks.
    Oh, and if we had grandparents offering to have our kids so we could be selfish adults who can sit back and enjoy life as if we hadn't had kids, you bet we'd be all over that. My kids go on family holidays without us every year. It's ******* amazing. I don't even miss them. They're having fun, DH and I get to recharge our batteries and enjoy only having to worry about ourselves...we joke that we'd love for it to happen for a week every school holidays. If someone offered it we'd jump at the chance. It's brilliant.

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  9. #95
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    So it seems judgement is only okay if everyone judges people the way they want them to. But if they judge them differently, they aren't allowed to judge!? 🤔

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  11. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by monroe78 View Post
    I still don't get the uproar over this sorry.

    No it isn't for everyone, and that's me included, but that doesn't mean i can say it's irresponsible or selfish etc.

    Their child is with one of their parents 24 hours of the day during the week, then on Sunday all 3 are together.

    If you were to add up all the hours the child is with it's parents through the week, and the Sunday, it would be a lot more than children in childcare 5 days, who spend the entire weekend at home.
    I know plenty of parents who finish work early then go home to have a quiet couple of hours alone or with their other half before going to pick the kids up from childcare. Is that selfish too?
    For me it's not about a tally of the *total* hours spent with your kid.

    It's about the fact that the finches *chose* to significantly under-utilise the time they *could* have spent with their kid... So they could spend time together (..having a shag). They give up 2 nights per week with their kid. 2/7 nights they gave up. That they could have spent with their kid. So they could shag.

  12. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    So it seems judgement is only okay if everyone judges people the way they want them to. But if they judge them differently, they aren't allowed to judge!? 🤔
    Haha, judging people for judging different to the way we judge 😂

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  14. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    For me it's not about a tally of the *total* hours spent with your kid.

    It's about the fact that the finches *chose* to significantly under-utilise the time they *could* have spent with their kid... So they could spend time together (..having a shag). They give up 2 nights per week with their kid. 2/7 nights they gave up. That they could have spent with their kid. So they could shag.
    But if they have done their sleep training right their child wouldn't wake up during the night so does it matter if the child is not with their parents? 😜

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  16. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    I just don't get why being a bit selfish as a parent is a bad thing? .
    Nothing wrong with being selfish 1 night every few weeks. 2/7 night is OTT IMO.
    - You're missing out on 25%+ of your kids life that you could have been involved in. Had you chosen them over your self.

  17. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    So it seems judgement is only okay if everyone judges people the way they want them to. But if they judge them differently, they aren't allowed to judge!?
    Leaving aside the Finch thing - personally I think judgement is normal, natural, instinctive and healthy.
    I think voicing a judgement is a different thing.
    Voicing negative judgements about stuff that doesn't concern me is something I don't want to do. For me. Work in progress? YES!! But at the end of the day, it doesn't achieve anything (for me).
    I always think these conversations are worth having but people seem to get so snarky/PA/defensive etc... the discussion gets lost.

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