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  1. #51
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    It's hard not to judge because we've all got our own version of what a parent should be. Its probably tinged with a bit of envy (I'm in the once a month would be lovely camp!)

    My very wealthy friend works full time, has a full time nanny and still eats out and socialises 4-5 times a week. I find that full on but I don't really care it's what she enjoys.

    My MIL can't understand how I am going on a 3 day girls weekend leaving my 2yo (first one ever - how dare I?) so matter what your never going to make everyone approve of you.

  2. #52
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    I personally think it's important for a couple to spend time together, one on one, without the kids. This is just as important as going to work. I read an article about this today and I like the way the writer put it:

    "Grandma gets to build a lovely relationship with her granddaughter. Mum and dad get to exchange their trackies for leather jeans and silky blouses and see each other as something other than cereal-smeared co-habitees.

    Indeed, they probably even get to have sex — slow, lingering, “God, you’re hot” sex — not the crazed, charmless, rudimentary bonk that’s administered in the four minutes before the ad break in Peppa Pig. Goodness, they may even manage to conceive another child, thereby providing Violet with a sibling."

    http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/rac...f5eaa83ca8364d

    It wouldn't work for us to have our boys away from home for 2 nights in a row, I would miss them too much. But Rachel finch and her husband spend more time with their daughter than my husband and I spend with our boys. And if I'm being generous, we spend maybe one full day a week together as a family.

    Every family is different and different arrangements work for different people. I don't think it's fair to judge them and some of the comments here really make me cringe.

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  4. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by witherwings View Post
    I personally think it's important for a couple to spend time together, one on one, without the kids. This is just as important as going to work. I read an article about this today and I like the way the writer put it:

    "Grandma gets to build a lovely relationship with her granddaughter. Mum and dad get to exchange their trackies for leather jeans and silky blouses and see each other as something other than cereal-smeared co-habitees.

    Indeed, they probably even get to have sex — slow, lingering, “God, you’re hot” sex — not the crazed, charmless, rudimentary bonk that’s administered in the four minutes before the ad break in Peppa Pig. Goodness, they may even manage to conceive another child, thereby providing Violet with a sibling."

    http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/rac...f5eaa83ca8364d

    It wouldn't work for us to have our boys away from home for 2 nights in a row, I would miss them too much. But Rachel finch and her husband spend more time with their daughter than my husband and I spend with our boys. And if I'm being generous, we spend maybe one full day a week together as a family.

    Every family is different and different arrangements work for different people. I don't think it's fair to judge them and some of the comments here really make me cringe.
    I do too, absolutely, you can't burn yourself out by neglecting yourself and your relationship and yes that is important, however catching that break and getting all of those benefits mentioned in the article every.single.weekend is too much IMO. You kind of gave up the right to do that every weekend when you decided to have children!

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  6. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    I do too, absolutely, you can't burn yourself out by neglecting yourself and your relationship and yes that is important, however catching that break and getting all of those benefits mentioned in the article every.single.weekend is too much IMO. You kind of gave up the right to do that every weekend when you decided to have children!
    While I agree the relationship is important I also try and remember that kids are only small for a short amount of time. Yes when you're in the middle of it all it feels like forever but it's not. My eldest is nearly 11 and honestly many weekends we never see her. She's got a better social life than us and is out all the time.

    Despite having 4 kids DH and I go out at least twice a month now. We have a very healthy life away from our kids. I agree it reinvigorates us and makes us enjoy them more.

    Do I care that she has 2 nights a week away from her daughter? No. Would I do the same? Not in a million years.

  7. #55
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    I don't get the comparison between sending your kid to childcare so you can work/study to better the family and palming off your child each weekend so you and your partner can have couple time and a sleep in. Obviously having couple time is important, but surely when you decide to start a family you realise that the majority of your couple time will evolve into family time.

    DP and I have had a few weekends away since our 5 year old arrived but if he suggested sending the kids away for the weekend every week I would be seriously questioning his maturity and readiness to parent.

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  9. #56
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    Default Rachael Finch under fire - MIL babysits child every weekend

    I honestly think that women need to be more supportive of each other & feel the need to criticise other Mum's choices less. If it works for them & their child is happy I think it's great.

    I've got four close friends who regularly catch up with our kids. None of us make the same decisions or parent the same way when it comes to our kids but I think that's a good thing. In that bunch alone we have a full time stay at home Mum, a full time working mum who puts baby in day care full time, a part time Mummy & me who is on maternity leave. We're all so different & make different choices.

    I feel bad that so many people are openly judging her for something that is the right fit & works for their family.

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  11. #57
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    I say good on her. They have a work/relationship/family balance that works well for them and their daughter is cared for by people who love her. Rachel Finch has her village. Go her.

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  13. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tainted View Post
    I don't get the comparison between sending your kid to childcare so you can work/study to better the family and palming off your child each weekend so you and your partner can have couple time and a sleep in. Obviously having couple time is important, but surely when you decide to start a family you realise that the majority of your couple time will evolve into family time.

    DP and I have had a few weekends away since our 5 year old arrived but if he suggested sending the kids away for the weekend every week I would be seriously questioning his maturity and readiness to parent.
    Do you have the same judgment for parents who put their kids into daycare 1-2 days a week when one parent is not working?

  14. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    Do you have the same judgment for parents who put their kids into daycare 1-2 days a week when one parent is not working?
    I know you didn't quote me, but I think at 1-2 days this is different. It's different as the child is also getting to see their parents in the morning and afternoons of both days, they get to sleep in their own beds, wake up to their parents and it could free up the non-working parent to run errands and do chores that are difficult with children in tow.

    If it were 4-5 days of child care for a parent to do as they please and get leisure time this is different IMO and yes I would judge - inwardly - I would never actually tell a parent I disagreed with it. Nor do I think it makes them a bad person or a bad mum, just a bit selfish.

  15. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    I know you didn't quote me, but I think at 1-2 days this is different. It's different as the child is also getting to see their parents in the morning and afternoons of both days, they get to sleep in their own beds, wake up to their parents and it could free up the non-working parent to run errands and do chores that are difficult with children in tow.

    If it were 4-5 days of child care for a parent to do as they please and get leisure time this is different IMO and yes I would judge - inwardly - I would never actually tell a parent I disagreed with it. Nor do I think it makes them a bad person or a bad mum, just a bit selfish.
    Maybe Rachael and her husband use the time to run errands and do chores are are difficult to do with child in tow. Lots of kids don't see their kids much at all during the week when they go to daycare if the parents works long hours. Lots of kids have two bedrooms (separated parents).

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