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  1. #1
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    Default Unemployed and pregnant!!

    Im so scared, I am 27 years old, I have worked full time for 10 years in various job roles, in January this year I decided I would like to study and obtain a qualification so I did a 10 week course in aged care, I took 2 weeks off between finishing work and starting it so 3 months in total. I just finished my placement Monday and I am looking for work but I have just recently found out I am 5-6 weeks pregnant!!
    Im so confused and scared, it is completely unplanned, I have been with my partner for 9 years and engaged for less than a year. My main concern with this pregnancy is financially, I dont know how on earth we can make it work! He has a good job and has just been given a permanent full time position starting July, I will hopefully gain employment in the next month, which means we are going to have to save like crazy, we have no savings currently, due to my 3 month gap I am not going to be eligible to any government paid maternity leave, or any maternity leave from my new employer, centrelink (which I have never claimed in my life) have advised me I will get about $219 a fortnight from them. I dont know how on earth we are going to manage or afford it and we are so unbelievably torn in relation to what decision to make. We have a great relationship and my partner is so supportive but he is leaving the decision up to me.
    We dont have a good car, we are renting, I have credit cards, he has a personal loan I just dont think it is feasible at this stage in our lives when things are only starting to look up for us to bring a child in to such an unstable environment.
    Any advise or information anyone could provide me would be greatly appreciated!

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    Hi, noticed no ones commenting, sorry! I do feel for u, it's hard enough without worrying about money. As far as baby stuff there's amazing amounts of stuff people sell second hand, heaps of which is great, and you'll find friends come up with heaps, so my advice would be buy very little. Even ask here, you'll find there's probably hubbers happy to set u up with plenty of things, I got given outright or loaned so much stuff, I really barely needed to buy at all. Spend some time cleaning stuff up, it amazing what a spit and polish can do. I put my sil bassinet mattress in the bath overnight to get stain out, perfect. Consider where u live? Park nearby, shops nearby? Walking aimlessly is ur friend esp in first 6 ish mths. Have u looked at packing jobs at woollies? They pay reasonably and if u have a bit of support u might be able to do shortly after Bub a few times a week to supplement??? How much work can u get now, no matter how boring....I thought the ML payments were calc in average hrs worked in previous yr to qualify or something like that....I thought it was pretty low the average required.... Look into mothers groups....

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    If you want this baby you can make it work. No one ever has enough money for a baby 😄. Just buy everything second hand. Everything came from my family giving me stuff. Talk to charities. Scope out buy swap sell pages.

    I'm pro choice. You decide. But if you want the baby things find a way.

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    Default Unemployed and pregnant!!

    How did you manage 3 months of not working while you studied? Any lessons that could help prepare you taking leave for a bub?

    On the positive side you're probably in a reasonable position in terms of unplanned pregancy - stable relationship, supportive partner, career training completed.

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    Sorry I didn't mean to ignore the choice bit, I was bathing ds.... There's medical or surgical options, u get scanned to ensure viable then take a tablet and wait for ' natural Loss' or have a d&c.... It's no big procedure it's more the mental thing, which is no small thing of course.... Best to get done by 8/9w if going to.

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    Babies don't have to cost a fortune... I bought all my kids stuff 2nd hand, I was fortunate I could breast feed so didn't have to pay for formula, and really they don't need much more than love, food, attention, nappies, clothes and a place to sleep.

    I hope u can come to a decision you are happy with, I wouldn't stress about money too much, things will fall into place.

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    Babies need a lot less than a lot of people thing they do. In reality you need a new car seat (less than $200) a safe place to sleep and some clothes and maybe a few other things.

    I'm pregnant with my second and got put on maternity leave at 22 weeks for medical reasons. Hubby works casual. We have most of the stuff from our first baby, and we had got that secondhand as we needed to save for a bigger car.

    As long as the car is decently reliable and roadworthy, and you can fit the car seat in you should be fine (we couldn't fit the seat in). A cot can be gotten secondhand easily, however a new cot mattress is adviseable. Clothes are cheap off buy swap sell sites and gumtree and eBay. You can skip the bassinet and save more. A pram/stroller can be gotten cheap too, I've never bought a new one and there are some decent ones out there for almost nothing.

    If you're not entitled to paid parental leave you will be entitled to the newborn supplement, which is higher for firstborn kids.

    The supermarkets sell own brand nappies a lot cheaper than huggies, or buy the flat cloth ones. Reusable is cheap, but more work.

    Swings, slings, swaddles, and a lot of other things aren't essential, and also could be gotten secondhand.

    I've read some articles about getting set up for baby for under $1000, and I believe it's entirely do-able if you can get stuff secondhand. It may need a clean but it's way better value

    Best of luck, and try not to stress

  10. #8
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    Default thank you

    Thank you all so much for your advise I truly do appreciate it, I guess my main concerns are ok we can probably buy a lot of things second hand etc. and make it work that way but I believe it will be such a struggle I never wanted to have a child being unmarried, not owning a house, driving a car that has seen much better days. My main concern is how on earth we will be able to afford and care for a child for nowadays a 26 year commitment (at least them living at home). I don't want to raise a child in an environment where everything is a struggle and I realize it may not always be as bleak as it appears now as the news is still so fresh. I just don't know how I could even take 6-12 months to care for a newborn on one income with so little support in any way. I have no family here, my partners parents have made it quite clear they have done their bit in raising 3 boys of their own and haven't helped out with my partners nieces or nephews at all. I don't have any friends with children, only my sister but she's back in Ireland. I just feel so lost, so alone, so scared and so completely unprepared. We have made an appointment to see a counsellor at the pregnancy advisory centre in our state to discuss all options.

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    I mean this nicely so please take it that way! I'm an IVF girl so everything is tainted by that.

    You're 27. You have maybe, if you're lucky, ten years to have kids before your eggs are gone. Were you planning on kids? Do you really think if you wait a bit longer much will change? Yes you might get PPL. Maybe save a bit more. But as you said it's a long commitment and these would just help at the start.

    My sister had no eggs left at 34 so I just always tell people not to leave it too long to have kids. I am pro choice and if you never wanted kids by all means terminate. But if you do want kids I think you need to really think long and hard about when that will be, what would be different to now, and how you would make that difference.

    Here's another tip: however you pictured your life as a parent throw it out the window!! Nothing goes according to plan. Nothing is ever like you think it will be. I was going to be married, an organised mum, and not let my kids eat sugar till at least 2. Well I found out I had low ovarian reserve like my sister so had to have kids straight away, so I am a solo mother to two little girls. My car is filled with half filled sucky yoghurts because I'm never organised enough to give them breakfast before day care. And I will let you discover the sugar one yourself 😄

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  13. #10
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    I'm almost 27 and pregnant with our second. We chose to have babies young. My partner has a stable job, I am a sahm studying part time. We have an okay income but we rent, and we can't save much at the moment because we live pay check to pay check, but do I regret anything? Nope. I would do it all over again. My thinking is, you either have to establish yourself before or after having kids.

    Once mine are in school I'll only be in my early thirties, when most other women are stopping to have kids. I will bet by the time they're back at work and I've been working for 5-10 years we will be reasonably evenly matched. Plus I will have reasonably self sufficient kids by the end of my thirties/early forties.

    There are pros and cons either way and only you know what will suit you but having a supportive partner with a steady job and having already got qualifications, I think you're actually in a pretty good place!

    Good luck whatever you choose!

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