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  1. #1
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    Default FTM feeling Lost & Alone

    My name is Bec, I'm 29 and 14 weeks with my first baby. Extremely excited about becoming a Mum, have a loving partner & am very fortunate to have a secure future. However for some reason, I just feel so lost & alone - which I can't make sense of. I've always been career driven, and started a new job (that I hate) in Feb so that I could be close to my partner. Two weeks later, I got pregnant and after working my way up in an industry I love, now have a job that I have to resign from, don't qualify for maternity leave & don't have anything to go back to after I have had the Bub. I feel as though I'm losing my identity and sense of purpose, which I know sounds crazy. I have a history of depression, and I worry about being a full time stay at home mum will do for my mental health. I just feel so lost, am constantly crying and just can't focus on the positives. I can't wait to be a Mum, and want to stay home for 12 months or so - but I'm just so worried about the future being so out of control.

  2. #2
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    Hugs hun, pregnancy and becoming a mum changes so much! When are you due? November? You can joking us in the November group, it's a good support to have xx

  3. #3
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    The unknown is scary but I can tell you in my experience mindset is the key. I was over the moon, glowing, calm, radiant, and blooming with my first. Nothing could unhinge me. This time, my experience is more like yours. I feel guilty for not being the way I was with my first. I am more anxious this time and a bit scared and I have no idea why. Well, I think going into motherhood I had pretty rose coloured glasses and my experience has been WONDERFUL. I worry that #2 just won't be as amazing. Any way, I am trying to fix my mindset, as that is all it is. I'm making up stories in my head about things that haven't happened. My new mantra is 'blooming!' So you are not alione. As Summefun said 'join us in November'. I am almost 12 weeks! xx

  4. #4
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    I understand, it's hard to relinquish independence and career, ur never the same after. I'm 37, so had even more years of career first. There's some groups for professional ladies which can be good, I wish I'd knew about them earlier as now everyone seems to have competing work schedules, earlier on with Bub would have been good. I found some local groups on meet up, u could try that maybe....(my ds is 22mths)

  5. #5
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    Hey girls I am running a questionnaire on Survey Monkey and would love to hear your responses on some serious maternity issues!

    Here is the link:
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/WDJ8K57

  6. #6
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    Pregnancy hormones can make you think all kinds of things, but it is very hard to know what life will be like with your new baby.
    You can look at it as loosing your identity or see it as your identity changing. Your going to be a mum! If you go back to work or not you will be busy. I would wait till I had my baby before you form your opinions of what it is like. There are so many things that you can do to keep busy with a baby. Some people find that they don't want to go back to work after the 12 months is up so you never know.
    It might help to go and talk to a perinatal Mental Heath professional in regards to your depression.
    Try not to stress to much about the future. Focus on the present.

  7. #7
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    My career is a massive part of my identity so I can understand who you feel like that! Can I ask why you have to resign and can't just take unpaid leave?


 

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