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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    I agree, don't burden kids with adult issues and esp ones over which they have no control.
    You sound like Dr Phil too you old fart!

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    turquoisecoast  (09-05-2016)

  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Say thankyou.

    Try not to talk to your kids about how much things cost (especially essentials such as groceries) in the context of how you need/would like to have more money. Yes it's good to have kids who are financially aware so to speak - however it's a fine line. Family financial struggles are an adult issue that kids shouldn't be worrying about. Kids need a sense of security.
    This 100%!

    You have a beautiful boy that clearly wants to help out. I would keep the money and save it for either a nice family dinner or a night out and make a by deal that DS paid for it.

  4. #23
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    What a sweet kid you have. I would take him to a movie with it - do something special just the two of you.

    Side note - I grew up with very little and was always aware that money was tight. Didn't hurt me and actually motivated me in my adult life. I always tell my older child we can't afford things. It's not true but my kids are growing up with so much and I want them to have a good work ethic/respect for money/understand the need to save for what you want etc etc

  5. #24
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    Thanks all very much for all the kind words and suggestions. He is indeed a beautiful boy, very thoughtful and loving. I like the suggestions of treating the family with something and letting them know it was from his generosity.


    As for the comments about "keeping money issues away from him"- ha!! Very much spoken from a position of privilege!

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    just her chameleon  (10-05-2016)

  7. #25
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    Default WWYD- unwanted mother's day gift

    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    As for the comments about "keeping money issues away from him"- ha!! Very much spoken from a position of privilege!
    Umm... No. I was just discussing the post mat leave/family emergency budget with the hubby and I can assure you it was NOT spoken from a position of privilege.

    It's absolutely possible, it's in a child's best interest, for that child to be shielded from financial struggles of the parents. That's not to say you can't tell your kid you can't afford luxuries such as an overseas holiday to Bali this year. Of course you can say that (just don't dwell on it). It means you don't let on that you are having trouble paying the essentials (groceries/rent etc).
    Last edited by VicPark; 09-05-2016 at 22:25.

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    HillDweller  (09-05-2016)

  9. #26
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    in response to the OP's dilemma, I'd accept the gift but spend the money doing a special activity together. something you both enjoy, be it going out for icecream or hot chocolate together or some other treat.

  10. #27
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    Put it in a piggy bank for him or in his bank account. If he doesn't have an account take him down to the bank and open one with him. That way when he receives pocket money he can watch his bank balance go up. My 8 yr old appreciates us doing this (have been since he was born) for him. He collects cans as we are in SA and he gets 10c a can. He has managed to save quite a bit now from doing this.

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    Hmm, That's a really hard one. To be honest, I could never accept money from my children. (Unless it is pay for something they have broken etc). I would tell him how proud I am of him, and the fact that he offered me such an incredible thoughtful gift means that he more than deserves the money to buy himself something super special. Additionally you could buy him something you know he would love with the money or use it on a special date together. We discuss how much things cost to our children. We explain that we have to work hard and have to save for things that we want. We are certainly not a family of privilege, quite the contrary. But I don't want my kids to worry about money, not yet. Have an understanding absolutely, but not to feel that they have to do something to help if that makes sense. Not a dig at you, just what works for my family. You have raised a beautiful boy, that was a really sweet thoughtful gift.

  12. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    It means you don't let on that you are having trouble paying the essentials (groceries/rent etc).
    That's not always possible though. As a kid I remember mum having go to charities to get food donations so that we could eat, as she couldn't afford groceries. The only time she could go was after school hours as that's when the charity divied up the food. She couldn't shelter us from that. Sometimes she couldn't keep it from us when she couldn't afford rent, as we had to move in with relatives until she got back on her feet. It's not always possible to sheild your kids from financial difficulties. And it didn't harm me at all. It made me really appreciate the small things, and be careful with my money.

    Not saying the OP's situation is as dire as this, just offering a different perspective.

    I don't think the OP needs to sheild her kids from some of the realities of financial pressure. I don't think the OP's son gave her the money because he felt burdened with adult financial pressures. It sounds like the OP is just raising a very thoughtful, generous and empathetic son. What a gorgeous kid!

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    CMF  (09-05-2016),SSecret Squirrel  (10-05-2016),VicPark  (10-05-2016)

  14. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Umm... No. I was just discussing the post mat leave/family emergency budget with the hubby and I can assure you it was NOT spoken from a position of privilege.

    It's absolutely possible, it's in a child's best interest, for that child to be shielded from financial struggles of the parents. That's not to say you can't tell your kid you can't afford luxuries such as an overseas holiday to Bali this year. Of course you can say that (just don't dwell on it). It means you don't let on that you are having trouble paying the essentials (groceries/rent etc).
    No, it's not.

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    just her chameleon  (10-05-2016),SSecret Squirrel  (10-05-2016)


 

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