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  1. #1
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    Default OPINIONS WANTED.. Taking time off work

    Who should take time off work to look after sick Lo?

    I am a school teacher who works full time. DH is a farmer who is currently sowing so working big hours.
    Our DS is sick atm, I took the day off work and took him to the doctors today. He has a chest infection so will not be going to daycare Thursday (tomorrow) or Friday. We have somebody to care for him tomorrow but nobody for Friday. Who should have to take work off for the day? DH or Me?
    I text DH earlier and said seeing I took the day off today, could he please have DS Friday. He said 'I would but I'm sowing'. I then replied and said 'I have work to do too' and got no reply.
    I know what's going to end up happening, I would love to hear your opinions though!!

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    i'd say take it in turns. but him more so.

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    We take it in turns at our house.

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    My DH is ALWAYS taking time off when DS needs it. This is so I can fulfill my obligations at work. DH is a farmer. I'm the CEO of a charity.
    However, there are two times a year when I don't expect DH to take days off and that's sowing and harvest. For us, he can't be flexible during those times. Because there is no one who can do it for him. He also doesn't get paid sick/carers/annual leave. But I do.

    But that's what works for our family. And it's balanced out during the rest of the year.

    I don't think anyone can tell you what should happen. It's really about what works best for your family at a particular time. Maybe you guys need to sit down and talk through expectations and needs.

    I never really understood until last year's season was such a disaster for DH on the farm. Heartbreakingly so.
    We've had some rain which is good. More is coming and he's working against a the clock to get crop in the ground before it rains again. Personally, if DS needed someone at home, it would be me, no matter how many days, regardless of whose turn it was, because of the need to get sowing done on a deadline.

    But, next month, if DS needed a day off and it was my Board meeting day, it would be DH taking time off no question.

    I'm not sure taking turns can always work.

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    It would depend on leave entitlements and a few other things including if somone could take your role or dh's role for the day. If you have leave entitlements, and yr dh doesnt, for example, then you this time i reckon.

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    I don't think it can be as arbitrary as taking turns. Depends on each other's job role, leave entitlements, work environment etc.
    My DH has been threatened with redundancy twice in the past 12 months and works In a super male dominated work environment where sick leave in general gets rolled eyes and every absence requires a medical certificate (sick or carers leave). My work is more secure and more understanding and more flexible therefore I will bear a greater share. As your DH is a farmer I assume there is no one to pick up the slack? Will it be detrimental to leave it for a day? If there could be serious ramifications to him missing a day of sowing then i would say it's probably better for you to take the time off and maybe there are other times of the year where he can take a bigger share.

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    Usually their mum or me.

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    I would usually agree that taking in turns is the best way - but coming from a farming family, sowing & harvesting times are critical. They have to be done at the right time, in the right weather, & it's not really a step you can just skip So I would think it is fair for you to take more time off at sowing/harvesting times, & he can take more time off at less critical times of the year.

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    Sorry in this instance it's you. He doesn't get paid sick leave and his work cannot wait. But next time he's not sowing it's his turn.

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    Sorry in this instance it's you. He doesn't get paid sick leave and his work cannot wait. But next time he's not sowing it's his turn.

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