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  1. #11
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    I don't have Facebook but DH does. Our DD is 10 months old and he has never mentioned her on Facebook and there are no photos of her on there. When I was pregnant someone wrote congratulations on his way. He deleted it then changed his settings so people can't post anything on there without his approval. Some might say extreme but he has people on there he went to school with 25 years ago overseas, work colleagues, hobby friends, associates etc and he is very private, as am I. We basically think that if you are a proper friend then you'll know what's going on in our life without needing to see it on the Internet. I don't see why he has Facebook but he likes following certain pages/groups.

  2. #12
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    I had similar feeling no social media and was the same about wedding.... We can text photos. And don't get me started on condolences , I know what the meaning is supposed to be but really "liking" someone's condolences comment.....

  3. #13
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    I think it's completely fair that not one person post about your upcoming birth but yourselves. I don't have fb anymore but my mum does and she respects that nothing goes up on her fb at all. She even lets me tell her friends she is going to be a g'ma again. I would let lose on anyone that spoils what is meant to be one of the most important days of your lives. To many people these days I feel disrespect on social media

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by HillDweller View Post

    Some people just don't get social media etiquette unfortunately. I've seen people post photos of brides before they've even made it down the aisle, I've seen posts congratulating someone on their pregnancy when the couple haven't even said anything, ditto for engagements. To me, it's obvious that you don't mention anything on social media about those type of life events before the couple does. Ever. I thought that was obvious, but to some people it clearly isn't!
    A close friend I used to have, a friend of hers went into labour. A few complications later and she was getting a c section under GA. Her partner let her sister in to see Bub while she was still out/recovering. Her sister took photos and plastered them all over Facebook, all before bubs mum even he a chance to see her or even find out that she had a girl etc.
    That was my cue to shift settings on Facebook

  5. #15
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    I didn't announce my pregnancy on Facebook and wasn't planning too. Turns out I didn't need to bother anyway as my SIL did it for me! Telling the world she was going to be an Aunty along with my exact due date. She took the post down after 8 hours and multiple requests and didn't even apologise. I am still friends with her on Facebook but have her restricted so she can't actually see any of my posts.

    We did announce our sons arrival 3 days after he was born including a cute picture of his toes. He is nearly 2 now and there are 3 pictures of him on Facebook, none of which show his face. All my friends know not to post any pictures of him on Facebook.

  6. #16
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    So helpful to hear how everyone has had different approaches, thank you. Got a lot to think about. The way I stand at the moment is that we will try control what others share and hope they respect that.

    Got a call from DH's cousin the other day to congratulate us...He said his mum told him (someone who I've never even met). DH confronted my MIL and asked how his cousin found out and she said she told her other sister-in-law who must have shared the news with her brother who told DH's cousin. I was fuming! I was 10W at the time and DH's cousin was so embarrassed he had called, he thought I must be past 12W if he had found out. I find it completely disrespectful for my MIL to have such disregard for the fact that we cannot wait to share our news but have to keep it a secret and without even asking she just goes ahead and tells someone and doesn't even make it clear its still early and not to share the news. Her excuse was that she thought she could tell close family and didn't think it would get back to his cousin. Think she's more sorry she got caught cause we had a very clear conversation when we told her the news and she promised that she'd only tell her husband (DHs new stepdad). We only told my SIL a few days ago because she was overseas and we couldn't get hold of her, imagine if she found out from someone else!

    Going to have to pull the reigns very tight with my MIL and have in writing what we expect from her. I think after the Facebook post and now this, she's going to hopefully be more self aware and less selfish.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ahalfdozen View Post
    A close friend I used to have, a friend of hers went into labour. A few complications later and she was getting a c section under GA. Her partner let her sister in to see Bub while she was still out/recovering. Her sister took photos and plastered them all over Facebook, all before bubs mum even he a chance to see her or even find out that she had a girl etc.
    That was my cue to shift settings on Facebook
    I would lose my shiz!!! First at my sister, then I would probably be totally irrational and kick Dh out of the hospital. A few people are going to be upset at us this time around because I've told Dh that no one gets to know the name or get any photos of him until Dd has met him, even if it ends up being the following day.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ahalfdozen View Post
    A close friend I used to have, a friend of hers went into labour. A few complications later and she was getting a c section under GA. Her partner let her sister in to see Bub while she was still out/recovering. Her sister took photos and plastered them all over Facebook, all before bubs mum even he a chance to see her or even find out that she had a girl etc.
    That was my cue to shift settings on Facebook

    Speechless!!

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsVZ View Post
    I'd like to hear some experiences and opinions on how you handled social media when it comes to your pregnancy, birth and baby?

    I'm on Facebook but am not very active. I don't like to share much personal stuff and my husband is the same. We both only use it to keep in touch with family and friends overseas.

    We've already had once incident where my MIL decided it was sensible to share a silly baby related post on my wall when I was 10w. I absolutely lost it with her, quickly deleted it and very bluntly asked her not to do that again. I explained that we hadn't shared the news and people would catch on, including my work and close friends and family who don't know yet! She said she didn't even think and apologised. She is so excited which makes me very nervous about what she'll be like on Facebook when the baby arrives. I'm tempted to make a rule for everyone that not one photo gets posted without our permission. Is this a bit extreme? She has all sorts of random acquaintances on Facebook who we don't know and I just don't like the idea of something so intimate and personal being shared with strangers.

    I've often seen people announcing someone else's baby's birth before the parents even have a chance and I would be devastated if we didn't get to share this ourselves. Not to mention very private pictures being shared without my permission. We're not even sure we want to do a Facebook pregnancy announcement. I would go off Facebook but prefer to stay on so I can monitor anyone sharing anything about our baby. It's crazy how everyone raises an eyebrow if you want to keep private stuff off Facebook like there's something wrong with you.

    Advice please! Thanks so much
    Shut your wall down so no one can post to your time line or it needs your approval before it can be added to the timeline. Then you won't need to worry ;-)

  10. #20
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    Hearing all these stories makes me realise my responsibility in making sure this doesn't happen to us. I chatted with my best friend the other day to ask her opinion and she said she just made peace with it but told me how the first picture of her and baby was with blood splattered on her as her baby had literally just come out and been put on her chest. The photo was sent by her DH to mum who decided in excitement to share it with the family via private message and a young cousin posted it on Facebook! My friend didn't know it was up until the next day when she was well enough to go online and she said she was mortified but it was too late. You just have to be so so clear because people do stupid things in a moment of excitement.


 

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