I am adding my hug to the group hug. Sorry I have not been on. I was at work yesterday and although I tell my DH I am fine to go, in reality I am frucked by the time I get home. Living in North West Sydney means I have an hour and a half commute to get to and from work too. If IVF hadn't sent us near broke I would have given up ages ago. Yesterday i decided that's it. Sent an email in saying due to Dr's advice this is my last day. Not strictly true but stuff it. No maternity leave pay for me so I am waiting for centrelink payment to start when Bub arrives.
Having read through all the replies to @Tahli's beautifully sensitive note I don't think I can add much. Yep, it does hurt when others have success and you are left waiting and wondering why it can't happen to you. Equally the toughest time I had on this board was when there was a paucity of good news. I took a break from BH at the time. I had also found out that I needed surgery and months of downtime before my last attempt. I felt pretty depressed and angry but started following a board on Babycenter for women having donor embryo transfers. Well, there were so many BFP's there that I felt hopeful, even expectant, that a BFP would eventually happen for everyone... including me (although I though DE was the only hope for me). I still feel that way now. I feel like it's possible for everyone here to get the family they want. One way or another. I don't want anyone to give up and I want to stay on the cheer squad and see you all through. I hope I am not upsetting anyone doing that.
My signature doesn't include much info but for those who don't know my journey here is my endurance race.
- Lap removal of endometriosis (Grade 4) with adhesions
- 2 Clomid cycles - BFN
- DH diagnosed with Stage 3 Colon Cancer (surgery and chemo required) - No further natural or clomid cycles allowed due to chemo.
- First IVF cycle (after DH's successful surgery and around 80% chance of survival given) - BFN. Endometriosis pain on first cycle (it's back!)
- Cycle 2 - Nothing to transfer
- Cycle 3 - 2 transferred (Not at blast stage) - BFN
- Hospitalised due to endo pain
- New FS - Diagnosed with Adenomyosis as well as endometriosis, 3 x endometriomas in right ovary, 1 in left ovary.
- 3 months zolodex
- Cycle 4 - 1 transferred - BFN
- attempted cycle - hospitalised with pain and nausea - suspected OHSS (felt like endo pain to me) - cancelled.
- DH diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Thyroid removed. No chemo required. Near 100% survival rate.
- Cycle 5 - Chemical
- Started investigating donor embryo's as FS advised that we may have sperm and egg issues. FS not supporting (doesn't believe in double donation) advised 1 last attempt.
- Another hospital admission with endo pain. Lap removal of endometriosis with adhesions. Adenomyosis in 2 areas, intramural fibroid (left insitu).
- 3 months on active portion on contraception (no period to settle endo/ adeno).
- Last attempt at OE IVF (cycle 6) - Fresh semen sample as DH finished chemo over 12 months ago. Suspected adeno still present on first scan (anterior uterus "Bulky"). 1 endometrioma still in right ovary. Me: breakdown. Told DH I didn't want to complete last cycle. DH wants to continue. 2 transferred.
- Surprise - BFP! First scan twins
- Nuchal scan 1 in 2 chance of Down syndrome.
- Harmony test - 1 in 10,000 chance of trisomies (but not as accurate for twins)
- Little Bubba lost around 23 weeks. Unknown cause.
- Nervous wait for Big Bubba's arrival.
AnnaMM (10-05-2016),BlondeinBrisvegas (10-05-2016),Blossom74 (10-05-2016),Bongley (10-05-2016),Caesardust (10-05-2016),Charlie74 (10-05-2016),Countrygirl72 (12-05-2016),Gagingi (10-05-2016),Lolly99 (10-05-2016),princessrory (13-05-2016),skye76 (10-05-2016),Tahli (10-05-2016),tuxcat (10-05-2016),winsor (10-05-2016)
@faithandhopellove Wow all the infertility stuff alone is major let alone having two lots of cancers to deal with in that time, the universe really owed you guys. Im thrilled for you both that there was something wonderful that happened out of all that.
good for you for telling work to get stuffed!! You must be feeling exhausted so I hope now you can enjoy the rest of your time before the big day and get lots of sleep and you time. You've been through so much with losing your little bub and so having some quiet time to yourself Im sure will be really great for you.
I know for me, having the donor option means that Im ok with this being my last cycle, I really don't know how I would be going right now if we had of decided to give up completely after this. I think after such a long time struggling with near misses along the way, I feel like I cant just end up with nothing out of all this pain.
I don't want anyone to give up either but I do get it that people get to the point where they need to. I guess I do hope that they end up considering DE so that they can experience the joy of being a mum, finally. But I know its not for everyone.
Yeah @BlondeinBrisvegas. I smiled sweetly and nodded while playing out a conversation in my head where I told him what he could do in his Catholic 'house'. It included a heartfelt apology and compensation for abused vulnerable little children plus comprehensive legal prosecution of abusive priests. I'd best stop there and get back to my frozen Mint Slices. If @Summer was still on here I could report my findings on the effect Mint Slices have on boosting lining.
@faithandhopellove Thank-you for sharing your truly inspirational story. What a heck of a journey. I'm not surprised you wanted to throw the towel in on your last cycle. How much can one couple endure. Your resilience is going to come in mighty handy in a few weeks time when you're holding precious Big Bubba in your arms and finding your way through the early weeks. You'll both rock it!!
@faithandhopellove wow you and DH have been on a massive journey. Not much longer now until you meet big bubba @tuxcat congrats on being pupo and there are lots of success stories (I also had a look!) @Blossom74 I get insomnia too, I hate it, and its normally either on a Sunday night or when I know I have a busy day at work the following day! @MamaKes and @Gangingi good luck for your upcoming scans
Transfer day will find out soon what we have hmmm
Ditto above ^^^!!!!
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