Last edited by skye76; 09-05-2016 at 06:46.
Wow ladies, I'm gone for a few days and look what happens bfp's galore and @Blossom74 gets a donor!
Congrats to the ladies who have finally gotten their bfp's
@Tahli and @Maxwellsmum good luck for lining scan today.
Afm we had a tough week last week feeding every 3hrs as Adalyn just hadn't put on enough weight since she got home. After doing the feeds I had to express and I was eating lactation cookies, drinking special teas and popping breastfeeding pills. My milk has finally come in properly and she put on about 230-250g last week (diff in scales at dr and nurses clinic).
I am now coming out of the sleep deprivation fog and can join you all again!
I know yesterday was a really hard day, just don't give up. You will all be mummas xxxx
The average time from advertising on EDA to finding a donor is roughly 10 weeks. I guess that means there are some that take much longer and some, like me, who are fortunate to find a donor quickly.
I actually spoke to 5 donors in total during my time but due to logistical reasons we were not a match. Two, for example, were from New Zealand which means there would be no MC rebate. Our finances don't stretch to that.
One was in Melbourne but was not ready to donate yet, and one was what I would call a perfect match but she couldn't cycle for us as she had met her family limit in NSW and we couldn't afford to cycle in QLD.
So it can, and does happen. I was very lucky to have met some people along the way who really guided me through. Our own Bongley was a huge inspiration, and I became (and still am) very close friends with one of the lovely Admin girls. Her advice was invaluable and in her I have a friend for life.
If it's something you're interested in I would definitely recommend it
Re: Contact after donation....
What sort of contact you are seeking after donation goes into your ad. That way, theoretically only donors who want the same thing as you will apply. Contact will also be covered in the counselling sessions to ensure that everyone is on the same page prior to donation.
My understanding is that there is a register on which donor details are recorded so that once the child reaches 18 years of age they can access that information.
One thing I will say is that your views regarding contact may change after you've spent some time on the site. If you want to, you can ask specifically for no contact after donation but it might be somewhat of a 'limiting factor?'
The site is so focussed on meetups and community and support, so whilst there ARE donors who want no contact after donation there are probably many more who do want it. That's not to say you won't find a donor, but you *may* be waiting a little longer to find that special person, if that makes sense.
Last edited by Blossom74; 09-05-2016 at 07:20.
Thanks for your good lining wishes girls. Two cycles ago my lining at this point was 5.8mm. That's weighing heavily on my mind this morning. I'm so nervous.
I think theres an in between not wanting any contact and having the person in your family's life and thats where we sit, as do quite a few people from what Ive seen. I don't personally want to commit to having a close relationship with the donor as I have no idea how Im going to feel over time in regards to that person being around all the time. So I think that although something might be deemed on the site as "limiting" I think ignore that and do what is right for you. Its more important to feel completely comfortable with your arrangement even if that means its takes an extra month.
Our PD contacted us within 5 weeks -her words were that she liked the sound of us and its clear now that we connect on things in common / similar mentality about stuff. Put your personality into your ad, have a bit of fun on your thread and on others threads and be relatively active on the site and you will find someone eventually I think. I don't even believe you need to go to meet ups, but it can only be helpful if you do decide to go to them.
I also think its hard to know what the donors are wanting as they don't really post a lot, there are a bunch who are very much connected into the EDA community but there are many who obviously don't want to get that involved in it (like ours) so you really don't know who is looking until they contact you.
Also some people like us who weren't ready to start a donor cycle at the time of joining just start with an intro and start interacting on the site so that people get to know who you are and your story. Then by the time you are ready potentially you have already found someone.
I would say its worthwhile giving it a shot for any of the girls considering DE. Worst case scenario you don't find the right person and then can go the O/S route
good luck today @Tahli and @Maxwellsmum !! hope you're feeling better too Max
@Chiefsgirl good to hear things have improved with bubs and you sound great!
@Caesardust, our ad is for no contact after the donation is complete except if the child should want to contact the donor in the future. it sounds like there are some donors who like this option from what others have said. there might be fewer though so it could take longer. I think it takes a while to get into chatting with new people on the forum - I prefer the fb page as it's easier, but they seem to want more people to talk on the site. the people are nice though. so I guess you could just post an intro & see how things go until you feel ready to post an ad. we're taking it pretty slow & steady
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