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  1. #21
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    A wedding for a good friend? Yes. In fact DH went to a wedding 5 hours away when DD was 2 weeks old ( my mum came to stay with me but we probably would have been fine).
    Stag do? Sorry but no. I'm thinking not only are you on 1 income, he wants to pay $2k for the stag do then will probably have to spend money to travel to the wedding also? Somethings gotta give.
    Also you will need more help with your older child so he really needs to step up this time around.
    Especially as he's said no to work travel, it's s but of a double standard.
    I'd laugh and say no way buddy!

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    but you're used to an absent husband? perhaps the OP feels overwhelmed and needs the support?

    to say you're ok with a 5 night jaunt overseas when bub is tiny and she has an older kid is just applying YOUR situation to someone else and then saying what's the issue. there's no one size fits all. if she has a problem with it, I take that to mean she needs support.
    It's a WWYD - and I did ask if it was a best friend or not. I genuinely think that if it's a best friend then he SHOULD go.

    Of course I'm applying my situation. I've been there flying solo with newborns and toddlers (plus preschooler). You manage. It's not the end of the world.

    And yes I'm used to an absent husband. And being away from family etc. Doesn't mean my point is invalid.

    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    In Rose's defence the OP asked WWYD and Rose just said what she would do. She never said the OP wasn't entitled to not be happy with the scenario.
    Thanks. Exactly.

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    GrabbyCrabby  (01-05-2016)

  4. #23
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    I'd veto it because DH is my only family in Australia (well only family over 3yo 😂).

    I could entertain the idea if my mum was staying with me at that time. But if not, it would be a def no go.

  5. #24
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    Now that I've read that your family is 5 min away I would probably say yes in your shoes.

    I would also plan my next $2k holiday. Probably a 5 nights away in a luxury hotel without kids and husbands.
    Bless 😁

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    A-Squared  (30-04-2016),ChatlotteA  (30-04-2016),Cue  (30-04-2016),GrabbyCrabby  (01-05-2016),harvs  (30-04-2016),ilex  (30-04-2016),Little Miss Sunshine  (30-04-2016),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (30-04-2016),Wise Enough  (30-04-2016)

  7. #25
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    Havent read any replies but....

    I would just laugh and say "but who are you going to organise to look after your children???!" If he looks confused and says "you", I would reply "no I'm not available because I will be 40 weeks pregnant or early postpartum!"

    He can't go. It's not actually you stopping him from going it's just that he has a family that needs him. That simple. Good luck. X

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    rosey82  (30-04-2016)

  9. #26
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    Oops sorry now I have read that you guys have argued about it. So now to be honest I would just tell him that his apparent priorities have upset you but you dont want to talk about it anymore right now. I would tell him that I want him to seriously think about it and decide if he really and truly thinks it is reasonable??? Then talk later. Chances are that the dates won't work out and/or that he will see that what he is wanting is not what's best for the whole family.

    When I had my second baby my DH started acting like a complete ****. Complaining about only getting to the gym 3 times a week (!), not going surfing every weekend, having to come home after only a few after work drinks, being too tired (!!!!) for some other stupid hobby, the list went on. Meanwhile I hadn't washed my hair in weeks, couldn't go to the toilet on my own and the only 'me' time I had was an hour at coles on Saturday morning. He was being COMPLETELY unreasonable and upsetting me soooooo much but in hindsight I see that we were both completely overwhelmed and not coping. This was his way of trying to tell me that he was not ok. He sees now that he was being an ****. I think your husband might too. Good luck. X

  10. #27
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    It would be a definite no in my household aswell. And when did a stag do turn into holidays for the guys and leave the women at home with the kids. I think sometimes the guys planning these things only think about the single guys or couples with no kids. $2k is a lot of $$ to spend on something esp if your not even part of the bridal party. People with kids have so many more responsibilities then those without. Mine BF is going to Sydney for 2 nights to see his best mate who had a baby a couple months back and he is freaking out about that and I'll only be 28wks at that stage.

  11. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedCreamingSoda View Post
    When I had my second baby my DH started acting like a complete ****. Complaining about only getting to the gym 3 times a week (!), not going surfing every weekend, having to come home after only a few after work drinks, being too tired (!!!!) for some other stupid hobby, the list went on. Meanwhile I hadn't washed my hair in weeks, couldn't go to the toilet on my own and the only 'me' time I had was an hour at coles on Saturday morning. He was being COMPLETELY unreasonable and upsetting me soooooo much but in hindsight I see that we were both completely overwhelmed and not coping. This was his way of trying to tell me that he was not ok. He sees now that he was being an ****. I think your husband might too. Good luck. X
    This really resonated with me! On some level maybe he's just trying to convince himself that nothing will change with #2 but reality is dd is 4 and life is pretty cruisey for us in all aspects, and that's gonna change at least in the short term when this baby comes along.

    We've moved on from the stag do argument, for the time being at least. Now he just tells me he wants to buy a bike. Like a proper Lycra wearing cyclist bike 😂 um ok dude, since when?! Where is my husband and what have you done with him 🤔

  12. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkTutu View Post
    This really resonated with me! On some level maybe he's just trying to convince himself that nothing will change with #2 but reality is dd is 4 and life is pretty cruisey for us in all aspects, and that's gonna change at least in the short term when this baby comes along.

    We've moved on from the stag do argument, for the time being at least. Now he just tells me he wants to buy a bike. Like a proper Lycra wearing cyclist bike 😂 um ok dude, since when?! Where is my husband and what have you done with him 🤔
    OK it sounds more like he is having a crisis. My Dh went thru that too when we went from 1-2. He decided to open a gym and I'd run a gym creche. WTF?!?!?

    But after letting him plan and talk about it he realised it was completely unfeasible.

    Sounds like your hubby is having a brain fart moment.

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  14. #30
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    I would say I wasn't comfortable with it because things happen - things you don't plan. I had an easy natural birth with DS1. Fully expected the same with DS2 - cue PROM, failed induction and emergency c-sect, blood loss and a very difficult recovery.

    An overnight not to far away wouldn't bother me but 5 nights overseas, not for me.


 

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