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  1. #1
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    Default Toddler night waking if I am not sleeping in the same room

    Needing some advice. 28 month old has been waking in the night at 2am/3am or so for the past month or more. She comes into our room and even if I tell her to go back to her bed she says she wants to sleep in my bed. (Prior to this she has slept through most nights since she was little although we have always had issues with getting her to go to sleep no matter what we try in regard to bedtime routine, day sleep timing etc. she has always hated sleeping anywhere away from home and even getting her to sleep in her cot/bed has had its challenges of spending up to an hour and a half by her bed side at night time)
    I take her back to her bed and normally hop in with her as I am pregnant with number 2 due In a few months time. She can be awake for up to 2 hours and flips and turns with eyes open. It's very frustrating and tiring especially when she wont let my husband put her back to bed without a screaming match and tantrum.
    She has a very good vocab for her age and understands instructions very well however this doesn't make any difference when we tell her to close her eyes and sleep.
    She has a material doll she has in bed which she snuggles, a gro clock (as of two weeks ago) and is in a single bed (it all started prior to the single bed introduction, she was in a toddler bed for 6 months before this started and then we got the bed to see if it would help.
    She had grommets inserted 12+ months ago.
    I have stayed at my mums with her the past week, she didn't wake once in the night (is this because I was sleeping in the bed right beside her stretcher bed?????)
    Her routine lately has been a day sleep at 12:30pm for an hour to an hour and 20 and bed time is 7pm although she can take up to 8pm to fall asleep (with me in the chair beside her) and then wakes for the day anywhere between 6-630.
    We have never been able to teach her to self settle, we resorted to rocking when she was a baby as CIO just made her hysterical and made bed time worse after she would fall asleep from exhaustion of crying!!!
    Any advice would be helpful - thanks so much. I am at my wits end with constant challenges she is throwing at us in regards to sleeping issues.
    Last edited by Hands full; 30-04-2016 at 04:58.

  2. #2
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    Nightmares is my bet. My girls get unsettled after vivid dreams and take a bit to calm down especially if they are more emotional kids. Can you put a single bed mattress in her room for you to sleep on till she outgrows this?

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    I agree with RAH about possible dreams/nightmares.

    I do understand your frustration. DS also never let DH put him back to sleep (or to sleep at all!). He has always been hard to get to sleep and a terrible sleeper.

    I found he had phases of waking/getting upset/not sleeping. I would camp out with her in her room for a bit. Have you asked her what is going on? She might be able to say if she is scared etc...

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    Hands full  (30-04-2016)

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    Thanks ladies, she doesn't wake upset or scared though and it's around the same time every night, could that still be dreams??? When we stayed at mums and her bed was right next to mine she didn't do it so that's why I thought it has to be either that she wants company in her room or the room is too bright from night light??
    It's a tight fit in her bed as I'm pregnant so I was trying to avoid sleeping with her all night especially because I didn't want to create another habit of needing me in her bed all night.
    Is this one of those things where we just have to ride it out????? Twinklify I do ask her what woke her up but she doesn't answer - she normally understands and answers my questions but she has no answer for me on this one which is handy!!!
    Last edited by Hands full; 30-04-2016 at 07:46.

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    My first was an amazing sleeper but went through the 2am bed-hopping phase around 2.5-3yo. She had been in a single bed since 18m without a problem. As her communication was great a sticker chart worked, a sticker every morning she slept in her own bed all night and a little prize after 5 (a whole week was too long to delay the gratification for her to "get" it).

    DS has been a horrendous sleeper but cannot leave his room due to a baby gate. He can reach his light switch and some nights I wake up to see his light is on and he is playing, some nights he's already back to sleep with the light on.

    On nights when he isn't tired enough to sleep right away at bedtime he still goes into his room and can play. Half the time he puts himself to bed, the other half DH or I need to go in and tuck him in, give him a kiss then leave. He is 2y10m and started sleeping tthough at 2yo.

    The only times we sit/lay with our kids to get them to sleep or go in their bed/them in our bed is if they are sick or had a nightmare.

    Can you make her room safe so she can play quietly on her own before sleep or when she stirs overnight?
    Last edited by Stretched; 30-04-2016 at 09:34.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    My first was an amazing sleeper but went through the 2am bed-hopping phase around 2.5-3yo. She had been in a single bed since 18m without a problem. As her communication was great a sticker chart worked, a sticker every morning she slept in her own bed all night and a little prize after 5 (a whole week was too long to delay the gratification for her to "get" it).

    DS has been a horrendous sleeper but cannot leave his room due to a baby gate. He can reach his light switch and some nights I wake up to see his light is on and he is playing, some nights he's already back to sleep with the light on.

    On nights when he isn't tired enough to sleep right away at bedtime he still goes into his room and can play. Half the time he puts himself to bed, the other half DH or I need to go in and tuck him in, give him a kiss then leave. He is 2y10m and started sleeping tthough at 2yo.

    The only times we sit/lay with our kids to get them to sleep or go in their bed/them in our bed is if they are sick or had a nightmare.

    Can you make her room safe so she can play quietly on her own before sleep or when she stirs overnight?
    Thanks Stretched, we will give the sticker chart a go I think!!! We have tried it before with toilet training and it definitely got her excited so maybe that's a plan!!!
    She falls asleep easy enough each night now, only have to sit by her bed for up to half an hour so that's ok by me. It's just the broken sleep at night and worrying that over time it's going to affect her!!!!!!

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    This happens to my son. Around 11pm he wakes up making a crying sound, his asleep but alet if that makes sense. I go in there, tuck him in more, pat his head, give him a kiss and tell him it's ok, he sleeps straight away, after like 20min, his up. It's crazy. It happens every single night.

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    OP I could have written your post about my DD before my 3rd child was born, and I don't really have any great advice because she is now 4 and a half and it is still a problem! I think for my DD she wakes up and looks for me sitting by her bed, and then is too scared when I'm not there, so comes looking for me. I think part of the answer is getting them to fall asleep on their own, but I haven't been able to do this with my DD, yet.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hands full View Post
    She falls asleep easy enough each night now, only have to sit by her bed for up to half an hour so that's ok by me.
    See, I consider that as difficult to fall asleep! lol

    Just shows how we all have different perspectives. I would be trying to build up independent "falling asleep" skills. When DD went through a stage of not wanting me to leave her bedside I would tell her I just had to go to the toilet, stack the dishwasher or some other short task but I would be back in 3 minutes and leave her but keep coming back at intervals. Eventually the minutes grew until I could just leave but I would assure her that even if she fell asleep I would still come back in and give her a kiss.

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