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  1. #21
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    I had tears reading that. I truly hope things turn out.
    I think the teacher should explain how "we should all be friends"

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    BubbleGuts  (04-05-2016)

  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbleGuts View Post
    Yes! Why on earth are school Mum's so damn cliquey?!? There is a mum of my daughters friend, we went through kinder together 4/5 years ago girls great friends etc. except now I'm lucky to get an acknowledgment in the playground because she's in with the 'cool' crowd .. But when they're not around then I'm ok to chat to. Pffft no thanks, I'm an adult so I can take that crap ( still hurts though) but don't pull the same stunt with my kids ������

    I'm so sorry your son is going through this too. It's so hard to not be able to 'fix' things for them. Your explanation is perfect, but it still sucks xxx
    I have no idea - I thought I had made a great friendship with a Mum last year and this year - WOW I must be so 2015 cause she's not at all interested and you know what, it still hurts at my age

    My son can be quite negative and anxious and seemed to never have friends despite the teachers thinking he did - they would see him playing at lunch time but didn't hear what was going on and know that he was being picked on for simple things like having a hair cut!

    We made what I found to be a tough decision and got him some counselling (he's 9) and we're starting to see a difference in his confidence, his negativity and bit by bit his anxiety. He's making some new friends (doesn't always work out) but he's starting to realise he can be the kid with friends - he even went to a birthday party last weekend

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    BubbleGuts  (04-05-2016)

  5. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by ICanDream View Post
    I have no idea - I thought I had made a great friendship with a Mum last year and this year - WOW I must be so 2015 cause she's not at all interested and you know what, it still hurts at my age

    My son can be quite negative and anxious and seemed to never have friends despite the teachers thinking he did - they would see him playing at lunch time but didn't hear what was going on and know that he was being picked on for simple things like having a hair cut!

    We made what I found to be a tough decision and got him some counselling (he's 9) and we're starting to see a difference in his confidence, his negativity and bit by bit his anxiety. He's making some new friends (doesn't always work out) but he's starting to realise he can be the kid with friends - he even went to a birthday party last weekend
    So I had another meeting with DS's teacher today. Apparently he was rude to a little girl who was sitting next to him. He was moved twice thereafter and ended up working on the floor 😳 when I asked him about it he said the girl had been poking him with a pencil and wouldn't stop when he asked her too. She kept doing it so he yelled at her to stop and leave him alone or he'd poke her in the eye. Obviously not appropriate but he said his teacher didn't give him a chance to explain and he was upset about it all afternoon.

    Im thinking counseling might be the next step, even if we can just find a way to improve his self esteem and confidence and get some strategies for his anxiety issues. Is your DS seeing someone on his own or are you present? Did you notice a difference in a few sessions or did it take a while? Our school is big on Kimochi's (feelings toys) so might look into one of those for him too.

  6. #24
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    Default I'm 'that' mother with 'that' child ...

    @BubbleGuts we at home didn't see so much of a difference to be honest but I think that's because as his parents we have so much to deal with it's hard to see. However his teacher, his grandparents and sports coach (external to school) who had no idea he was having counselling all commented on the change they had seen in him - that was after three x 50min sessions.

    I go in for the first 5 minutes to his session just to let her know of any big issues or hiccups that may have occurred since we last saw her. He then does the session on his own for I guess 40 mins and then I get a brief recap and any pointers for the last 5 mins and she tells me any tasks she's given him for the next session.

    He can ask her not to tell me things but any talk of self harm or harm to others (and maybe some other things I can't quite remember) will not remain confidential between them - she will tell me.

    He doesn't always tell me what's been said immediately but eventually he can't help himself and ends up spilling. I don't ask specifics after the session, I ask him if it was ok and did he understand what she had said and that I can contact her if he needs clarification on anything. It seems a lot for them to take in and this way works for us - he knows I've asked but it gives him time to process and then tell me.

    We went to the GP and got a health care plan for him so I think 10 sessions are rebated by Medicare - after that I think private health covers some - it's expensive and we get stuff all back but he likes her and is comfortable so we've decided not to find somewhere cheaper.

    ETA: my son was always the one getting in trouble, he'd tolerate the poking etc but somehow when he retaliated he got busted! He too says he doesn't get a chance to explain as the other kids make up stories and blame him. I know he can be a pain so I don't know how much is true and how much is covering his own butt but he certainly doesn't pick his timing haha
    Last edited by ICanDream; 04-05-2016 at 23:14.

  7. #25
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    I m really sorry for your son. My ds last year invited all preschool class to his b day party and while almost everyone showed up we only gor one invite back. He was so so happy. We will do it again this year at kinder as all new kids and he is very social. However I m that awkward mum no one talks to I find it hard to make new friend and take time. I m afraid he ll miss out becausw of me. Andthe more I think aabout it the more I panic and the more awkward I feel as I m forcing my self to talk to other parents..also dg does most school runs as I m busy with a baby as well. .
    So yeah. .I was bawling my eyes out too

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    BubbleGuts  (24-07-2016)

  9. #26
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    How is everything going?

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    Wise Enough  (07-06-2016)

  11. #27
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    Just an update. My son had a birthday party a month or two ago, made sure we invited the whole class. They all came barr one and he was so excited, had such a great time! Since then he's been invited to another kids party and things seem to be settling down at school. I've noticed he seems to only be upset/teary about having no one to play with less now, maybe only once or twice a week. We've been doing lots of work on his confidence and self esteem, will keep going and hope for the best thank you all so much for listening and your advice x

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  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sirena89 View Post
    I m really sorry for your son. My ds last year invited all preschool class to his b day party and while almost everyone showed up we only gor one invite back. He was so so happy. We will do it again this year at kinder as all new kids and he is very social. However I m that awkward mum no one talks to I find it hard to make new friend and take time. I m afraid he ll miss out becausw of me. Andthe more I think aabout it the more I panic and the more awkward I feel as I m forcing my self to talk to other parents..also dg does most school runs as I m busy with a baby as well. .
    So yeah. .I was bawling my eyes out too
    Oh Sirena89, we sound like the same person, it's so hard isn't it. It's even harder when you have a baby (mine has just turned 1) and everyone else is in the next phase with older kids. Hugs to you x

  14. #29
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    First my condolences.... Can I offer a maybe ( very long term) suggestion of a pro.... Most of the people I know thru work or dh who are v successful were less than popular at school.... The popular kids aren't doing so well now we're adults....and the ugly/awkward ones ( physically) seem to grow into attractive adults.... I know doesn't fix things now, but it's a smirk to know hopefully ur kid is better off in long run.....

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    Wise Enough  (26-07-2016)


 

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