Oh my hearts breaking for him. But it's possible it's not as mean as it looks. Could the boys all know each other from mums group? My DD is in kinder and 5 of the mums and kids were all chums before kinder even started so they all got invited to each other's parties.
I think inviting all the other kids to his birthday is a great start. Also try and arrange some play dates one on one with some other kids in his class?
Hugs. I have those kids too. It's heartbreaking.
I am having a party in the next few weeks and while I am only having a few kids I am making sure that the kid I know has never been to a party since he has been at our school and gets on with ds is invited.
I actually think that's really mean, excluding one boy when all the others are invited.
My DS is that kid too, he went to one birthday party the whole of last year whilst in year 3, been like that since he started school. I get that people know each other from kinder/mothers group but we're not in that setting any more and it doesn't fly with me - it's no different than the parent being excluded from the coffee dates with the other parents. It's mean, it's rude and it's downright clique and excluding.
I'm really sorry your son was left out, I don't have any great advice, we ended up just trying to explain that sometimes parties could only have a certain amount of kids and that unfortunately he didn't get included.
Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions. I stewed about it all weekend and Monday morning asked his teacher for a good time to have a chat. Turns out she had a temp teacher in for the day so she was free then and there! Basically told her I was worried re his lack of friends, wondered if there was anything I could do to improve his socialization etc.
She seemed shocked! As far as she is concerned he seems to be very popular and always has loads of kids hanging around him etc. that threw me a bit so we ended up chatting for ages about kids and their behaviors, along with parents and the way they influence their kids (i.e. you guys all seem like me, I'd never exclude one child but obviously there are parents that do, either because they don't realise or they don't care)
So basically she was going to have a chat with him on Monday afternoon. Picked him up after school and he seemed fine, said he'd played with a couple of the kids but still a few tears later in the night.
Very long winded (sorry!) but I think DS can be quite negative and anxious at times so this might be why he perceives he has no friends. We've also started working on compromise and playing nicely, just as a reinforcement and will see how things improve in the coming weeks. His birthday is coming up next month so DH and I decided he can have a big party and invite his whole class 😱 as a way of helping him with friendships etc.
I hope this makes sense, I am running on about 2 hours sleep 😬💤
I'm so sorry your son is going through this too. It's so hard to not be able to 'fix' things for them. Your explanation is perfect, but it still sucks xxx
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