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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bond Girl View Post
    Oh your poor little boy, l choked up reading that. No little one should be lonely at play time. And the teachers aides who supervise play time (or whoever it is in your school) should be aware of who is on their own and helping him find a buddy. Definitely organise a meeting with the teacher and please let us know how you get on. Xx
    Thank you x so nice to know I'm not crazy to be upset. I will def speak to his teacher next week and see if she can offer me any insights. I might also ask her to see if the duty teachers can keep an eye out and see what's happening too, thanks for that tip! x

  2. #12
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    Oh my hearts breaking for him. But it's possible it's not as mean as it looks. Could the boys all know each other from mums group? My DD is in kinder and 5 of the mums and kids were all chums before kinder even started so they all got invited to each other's parties.

    I think inviting all the other kids to his birthday is a great start. Also try and arrange some play dates one on one with some other kids in his class?

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Wise Enough For This Useful Post:

    BubbleGuts  (29-04-2016),GirlsRock  (29-04-2016)

  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    Oh my hearts breaking for him. But it's possible it's not as mean as it looks. Could the boys all know each other from mums group? My DD is in kinder and 5 of the mums and kids were all chums before kinder even started so they all got invited to each other's parties.

    I think inviting all the other kids to his birthday is a great start. Also try and arrange some play dates one on one with some other kids in his class?
    That's a good point and there may be a couple of 'previous friends' in the class, but my DS went to kinder with 2 of the boys. He was quite good friends with one boy and I was on good terms with his mum (or so I thought) but since they've started I'm lucky to get a hi in the playground. Maybe I'm not cool enough .. I think the play date suggestion is a good one though xx

  5. #14
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    Hugs. I have those kids too. It's heartbreaking.
    I am having a party in the next few weeks and while I am only having a few kids I am making sure that the kid I know has never been to a party since he has been at our school and gets on with ds is invited.

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    Bond Girl  (30-04-2016),BubbleGuts  (03-05-2016),yadot  (30-04-2016)

  7. #15
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    I actually think that's really mean, excluding one boy when all the others are invited.

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  9. #16
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    My DS is that kid too, he went to one birthday party the whole of last year whilst in year 3, been like that since he started school. I get that people know each other from kinder/mothers group but we're not in that setting any more and it doesn't fly with me - it's no different than the parent being excluded from the coffee dates with the other parents. It's mean, it's rude and it's downright clique and excluding.

    I'm really sorry your son was left out, I don't have any great advice, we ended up just trying to explain that sometimes parties could only have a certain amount of kids and that unfortunately he didn't get included.

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  11. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by ICanDream View Post
    My DS is that kid too, he went to one birthday party the whole of last year whilst in year 3, been like that since he started school. I get that people know each other from kinder/mothers group but we're not in that setting any more and it doesn't fly with me - it's no different than the parent being excluded from the coffee dates with the other parents. It's mean, it's rude and it's downright clique and excluding.

    I'm really sorry your son was left out, I don't have any great advice, we ended up just trying to explain that sometimes parties could only have a certain amount of kids and that unfortunately he didn't get included.
    I agree and especially in prep, they're so little, it's not very nice to invite all the other boys and exclude one. Unless it was an oversight or something.

  12. #18
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    Thank you all for your kind words and suggestions. I stewed about it all weekend and Monday morning asked his teacher for a good time to have a chat. Turns out she had a temp teacher in for the day so she was free then and there! Basically told her I was worried re his lack of friends, wondered if there was anything I could do to improve his socialization etc.
    She seemed shocked! As far as she is concerned he seems to be very popular and always has loads of kids hanging around him etc. that threw me a bit so we ended up chatting for ages about kids and their behaviors, along with parents and the way they influence their kids (i.e. you guys all seem like me, I'd never exclude one child but obviously there are parents that do, either because they don't realise or they don't care)
    So basically she was going to have a chat with him on Monday afternoon. Picked him up after school and he seemed fine, said he'd played with a couple of the kids but still a few tears later in the night.
    Very long winded (sorry!) but I think DS can be quite negative and anxious at times so this might be why he perceives he has no friends. We've also started working on compromise and playing nicely, just as a reinforcement and will see how things improve in the coming weeks. His birthday is coming up next month so DH and I decided he can have a big party and invite his whole class 😱 as a way of helping him with friendships etc.

    I hope this makes sense, I am running on about 2 hours sleep 😬💤

  13. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post
    Hugs. I have those kids too. It's heartbreaking.
    I am having a party in the next few weeks and while I am only having a few kids I am making sure that the kid I know has never been to a party since he has been at our school and gets on with ds is invited.
    That is so nice of you and I bet that kid and his parents will be more grateful than they'd ever say xx

  14. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by ICanDream View Post
    My DS is that kid too, he went to one birthday party the whole of last year whilst in year 3, been like that since he started school. I get that people know each other from kinder/mothers group but we're not in that setting any more and it doesn't fly with me - it's no different than the parent being excluded from the coffee dates with the other parents. It's mean, it's rude and it's downright clique and excluding.

    I'm really sorry your son was left out, I don't have any great advice, we ended up just trying to explain that sometimes parties could only have a certain amount of kids and that unfortunately he didn't get included.
    Yes! Why on earth are school Mum's so damn cliquey?!? There is a mum of my daughters friend, we went through kinder together 4/5 years ago girls great friends etc. except now I'm lucky to get an acknowledgment in the playground because she's in with the 'cool' crowd .. But when they're not around then I'm ok to chat to. Pffft no thanks, I'm an adult so I can take that crap ( still hurts though) but don't pull the same stunt with my kids 😡

    I'm so sorry your son is going through this too. It's so hard to not be able to 'fix' things for them. Your explanation is perfect, but it still sucks xxx


 

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