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    Default I'm 'that' mother with 'that' child ...

    There is no real point to this post, other than a vent. My DS is in prep this year, he's a lovely kid full of confidence and a cute cheekiness which people seem drawn to. Yes I'm his mum but he is truly a lovely kid. He has an older sister who is the opposite (very shy, no confidence etc) so we've always been a little worried re her making friends etc but she seems to be doing very well.
    Back to DS .. I was at school this afternoon listening to a bunch of the other Mum's chatting and it seems that there have been 3 other boys in his class (only 9 boys in total) who have had birthday parties in the last couple of weeks and another this weekend and from the sounds of it (and some sad Facebook stalking) it seems as though my DS is the only boy not invited 😢 He often seems to be surrounded by other kids before and after school when I see him, but complains at home that he has no friends at school. I'm heartbroken. How could no one want to play with him? He's awesome. What am I doing wrong? It's so hard not being able to just 'fix' things for my baby.

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    I was that kid, but for what I am assuming are vastly different reason. I'm completely socially inept (very bad social anxiety) so while I was always surrounded by the other kids, I never learned how to play so they would always tire of me. I missed out on invites etc all the time. Can you ask a teacher or something to give you some insight on how his interactions are with other children once you're not around?

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  4. #3
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    It's heartbreaking, isn't it 😢💔
    You're not doing anything wrong. I actually think it's quite rough of the parents to invite every boy except your ds, especially being in prep.

    I'd probably organise some play dates outside of school. It could help your ds build friendships that will hopefully kick things off in school.

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    BubbleGuts  (29-04-2016)

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    Your sone sounds very much like my son. My son is in year 4. It seems he is popular yet he is never invited. I think in all of his years at school he has only been to one or two parties where is sister (year 1) has been to about 6 in the last two years!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ahalfdozen View Post
    I was that kid, but for what I am assuming are vastly different reason. I'm completely socially inept (very bad social anxiety) so while I was always surrounded by the other kids, I never learned how to play so they would always tire of me. I missed out on invites etc all the time. Can you ask a teacher or something to give you some insight on how his interactions are with other children once you're not around?
    That is something I hadn't thought of. I think that describes me, I was ok as a kid as I went to a very small school (5 kids in my year level, only 2 of us girls) so no real choice in friends. I've noticed since having kids how completely socially inept and anxious I am. I'm on medication but it's only new and I'm still very anxious and nervous (not really the right word but can't think of a better one) around the other parents. So maybe the parents think I'm weird and so he is by association? Argh

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    Oh I'm so sad for you and your DS. My boy is in Prep and I'd be heart broken if this happened too.
    I'd definitely speak to the teacher if it was me and see how he is socially during the day. And whether there are any suggestions for friendships to foster. I'd then try to get friendly with the mums and arrange play dates.
    I hope your DS is ok. X

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    Quote Originally Posted by atomicmama View Post
    It's heartbreaking, isn't it 😢💔
    You're not doing anything wrong. I actually think it's quite rough of the parents to invite every boy except your ds, especially being in prep.

    I'd probably organise some play dates outside of school. It could help your ds build friendships that will hopefully kick things off in school.
    It's just so awful seeing his sad little face. I have realized (admitted to myself?) recently that I suffer from social anxiety so maybe it's my fault. I always feel awkward around other parents, like they're all adults with their lives together and I'm just stumbling through life and no one would want to talk to someone as boring as me anyway. I will have to put my anxiety aside and try and organise some play dates as you suggested, it makes good sense.

    It's actually my sons birthday in a month and he has been so super excited to be inviting his class - he didn't want to invite one boy as he's 'too rough' but I'd explained to him about how sad that boy would be to be excluded .. Now he is the one excluded 😢 He goes to a catholic school too, i was hoping for more 'treat others how you would like to be treated' ..

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    Quote Originally Posted by bubbasmum View Post
    Your sone sounds very much like my son. My son is in year 4. It seems he is popular yet he is never invited. I think in all of his years at school he has only been to one or two parties where is sister (year 1) has been to about 6 in the last two years!
    It's bizarre isn't it? I can't work it out. I could never knowingly exclude another child in this way, I just don't understand. So early to learn these life lessons. My DH is just happy we are saving on buying gifts (#tightass)!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bond Girl View Post
    Oh I'm so sad for you and your DS. My boy is in Prep and I'd be heart broken if this happened too.
    I'd definitely speak to the teacher if it was me and see how he is socially during the day. And whether there are any suggestions for friendships to foster. I'd then try to get friendly with the mums and arrange play dates.
    I hope your DS is ok. X
    Thank you! I felt like such a freak, I actually had tears as I was explaining the situation to my DH .. He is such a lovely kid, not a mean bone in his body. He has had a few tears at bedtime in last few weeks as 'no one wanted to play with me today'. He seems popular before and after school, so I thought it was just him wanting a bit of attention at bed time .. I will try and organise a meeting with his teacher next week I think. Might be something we need to work on 😊

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    Quote Originally Posted by BubbleGuts View Post
    Thank you! I felt like such a freak, I actually had tears as I was explaining the situation to my DH .. He is such a lovely kid, not a mean bone in his body. He has had a few tears at bedtime in last few weeks as 'no one wanted to play with me today'. He seems popular before and after school, so I thought it was just him wanting a bit of attention at bed time .. I will try and organise a meeting with his teacher next week I think. Might be something we need to work on 😊
    Oh your poor little boy, l choked up reading that. No little one should be lonely at play time. And the teachers aides who supervise play time (or whoever it is in your school) should be aware of who is on their own and helping him find a buddy. Definitely organise a meeting with the teacher and please let us know how you get on. Xx

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