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  1. #71
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    Default people referring to your baby as "my"

    I have a great relationship with my family, I'm extremely grateful of the support and love they have for my kids and I'm really quite astounded that because it bothers me I've somehow got a poor relationship or somehow ungrateful.

    Calling them "my baby" grated on me - I was a new mum with first time Bub feeling overwhelmed, hormonal, sleep deprived and emotional and probably over protective. I'm pretty sure people have got their knickers in a twist over many odd things in those early days.
    Last edited by ICanDream; 30-04-2016 at 21:52.

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  3. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by ICanDream View Post
    I have a great relationship with my family, I'm extremely grateful of the support and love they have for my kids and I'm really quite astounded that because it bothers me I've somehow got a poor relationship or somehow ungrateful.

    Calling them "my baby" grated on me - I was a new mum with first time Bub feeling overwhelmed, hormonal, sleep deprived and emotional and probably over protective. I'm pretty sure people have got their knickers in a twist over many odd things in those early days.
    Early days maybe, but not with 2, 3 4 month old plus babies. Fair enough someone with PND or PNA might not be able to cope with those comments but that's again a different story IMO

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  5. #73
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    No not at all, I often refer to my niece and nephew as my babies, if other people call my kids that it doesn't bother me, they can take them off my hands for night wakes up 😂😂😂

  6. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by ICanDream View Post
    I have a great relationship with my family, I'm extremely grateful of the support and love they have for my kids and I'm really quite astounded that because it bothers me I've somehow got a poor relationship or somehow ungrateful.

    Calling them "my baby" grated on me - I was a new mum with first time Bub feeling overwhelmed, hormonal, sleep deprived and emotional and probably over protective. I'm pretty sure people have got their knickers in a twist over many odd things in those early days.
    I was generalising... judging from most of the posts it appears *for the most part* to be more of an issue of relationship clash. I also thought we were talking about using the "my" statements for people's children (of all ages) in general not necessarily newborn bubs....
    Anyway...moving along..

  7. #75
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    I think this is a normal feeling with your first child in the beginning.
    I couldn't stand it, it would wake this crazy over bearing possessiveness that was probably completely irrational, but it all made sense at the time, it was my baby and I had to take care of her.

    It's probably adapting to motherhood, there has never been anyone or anything that you have loved or needed to protect in this way. How ever well you have prepared, there is no way to prepare for how this feels.

    Later though that feeling went away, and I didn't feel like that with my second, even when my il's say it I'm fine with it now :P I like that they have a village, I try hard to have loving people who care about them around, while this may not be a priority in the newborn phase, later you want your children to feel loved and have great relationships with grandparents, aunts, etc.

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  9. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by sparklebug View Post
    I think this is a normal feeling with your first child in the beginning.
    I couldn't stand it, it would wake this crazy over bearing possessiveness that was probably completely irrational, but it all made sense at the time, it was my baby and I had to take care of her.

    It's probably adapting to motherhood, there has never been anyone or anything that you have loved or needed to protect in this way. How ever well you have prepared, there is no way to prepare for how this feels.

    Later though that feeling went away, and I didn't feel like that with my second, even when my il's say it I'm fine with it now :P I like that they have a village, I try hard to have loving people who care about them around, while this may not be a priority in the newborn phase, later you want your children to feel loved and have great relationships with grandparents, aunts, etc.
    I think you've articulated it fantastically. I do tend to agree with the first point and feeling so overwhelmed and protective of this tiny thing you've created, plus adapting to your new role as this tiny human's protector, that someone using the term "my" evokes a slightly irrational and primal response. add hormones and tiredness to the mix and it's not that surprising really.

    agree completely once everyone has adjusted and the child is older, it's definitely vital to have as many loving family members around. well that's important from the start, but I guess it's normal to feel a little protective and possessive of your new little bundle.

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  11. #77
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    For me, personally. I hated it at first but now I don't mind so much IF it's a person who is close to my son and who he has a good relationship with. I don't mind of my parents do it, as they look after him a few times a week and he loves them to bits. But other people, such as random extended family who we rarely see, who he doesn't even recognise or know their name, no way. He is not "their" anything as far as I'm concerned.

  12. #78
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    I hate it. Pregnant with baby number 3 and I STILL hate when my mum says 'How's my baby?'. Nope, I don't have PND/AND and I have a good relationship with my family. I don't know why it annoys me, but it does.

  13. #79
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    Nah, not from family. The way my girls have been raised so far has been with heavy involvement from everyone, both sets of grandparents and their aunt and uncle. My girls belong in the family so the 'my' thing seems to fit. They re as much my girls as they are my mother in laws or my mothers.

  14. #80
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    Nope doesn't worry me but I grew up with my Nan calling me "my (her) darling" so I guess to me it's normal


 

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