I have a 3yo DS. I don't consider myself to be a harsh disciplinarian, but there some things I won't tolerate. Being mean to other kids is one of them. If he has a friend over and says mean things to them or snatches their toys etc, he immediately gets told off or sent to his naughty corner.
This seems to have worked in that my beautiful boy is very rarely rude or mean to other kids.
On the weekend he was playing with a friend who I think just got sick of sharing his toys, or maybe he was over tired, hungry or something. This child was in DS1's face screaming at him to go home because he doesn't want him here.
DS1 just sort of closed up. He just sat there looking sadly at the ground, saying nothing.
His friend was taken away and DS1 went back to playing by himself.
How do I handle situations like this? I'm worried I've been so hard on him for being mean to his friends that now he won't stick up for himself. If the kids had been alone I would have instructed DS1 to tell him to stop speaking to him like that, but the kid's mother was there so I couldn't.