So I've decided to post her just to get this out as I'm upset but also to see what other people think they would consider acceptable in this situation. It's going to be long. I'm sorry.
My mum died from cancer in mid December. She was diagnosed only 6 weeks earlier. My parents had just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in feb 2015. So had a very long relationship and were never with anyone else during this time. We were all so proud of them for reaching such a milestone. They were both early 70's.
I'm obviously not in control of my father and will love him no matter what, but his decisions lately are starting to make me not really want to talk to him much. And that's pretty bad considering I'm his only child out of 4 that calls him at least 3 (sometimes more times a week) and really cares about him. I live interstate from him and it's a 2.5hr flight so can't just go and visit him whenever I like, so calling him is my thing. My oldest brother is angry at my dad for a bad childhood & calls him maybe once a fn and sometimes my dad bumps into him at his work (local shops) again max of 1 time a Fn. my sister has called into visit my dad once since December and phoned him once. She also bumped into him at the shops once. She said he isn't very nice towards her so she doesn't want to be around him (he is def in the 'grumpy old man' stage of life. But nothing I can't brush off) my other brother lives in the US so chats to my dad once a fn on Facebook messenger. Has called dad once or twice since mums death.
Anyways, 8 weeks after mum died dad had started raving on about his neighbour and how great she was. Then admitted to me that he would like a relationship with her. I thought this was extremely poor form (just my opinion) considering mum hadn't been gone for long & also mum was schizophrenic for 40yrs and often was paranoid that dad was cheating on her (total delusions) and also that he actually treated mum really bad in the last ten years yelling at her for little things and treating her like she was stupid (she was very slow) so to hear him talking about how wonderful someone was hurt me a little because he was so mean to mum. Other things that upset me was the neighbour has Random family members/people living with her that are quite dodgy. Yelling at each other, using drugs and revving cars (dad lives in a bad area) so it worries me that he might get involved and then upset someone and possibly get physically hurt. ALSO the fact that this woman was only 43yrs old. My dad is 73. My youngest brother is 44, sister is 47 and oldest bro is 50. I'm 31. I was shocked.
I wasn't sure how the neighbour felt about dad, but was concerned that she hadn't told him to back off yet (if she didn't have feelings) so I just thought she must be ok with it. (She's a very forward person) Plus my dad was acting like he thought she was into it. Anyway over the next 2/3 months the neighbour went cold on him and now he knows they are just friends (not sure if she set him straight or not)
Anyways so I was glad that was sort of done with and I've just called my dad this afternoon & he tells me the lady next door told her she has a 61yr old friend that has just run away from a bad relationship and is now living in her car. In McDonald's carparks to be exact. AND she thinks she is a good match for my dad. So dads been trying to call her and set up dinner. Her phone was off though. Again I'm so shocked. This woman has a daughter that she doesn't talk to anymore and no friends or family that care enough to put her up which screams alarm bells for me. (Could just be a totally bad luck situation) I told dad I didn't think this was a good idea as 1. He doesn't even know her and is chasing her for a date & 2. Her situation rings alarm bells & he totally agreed but said until he meets her he won't know. Arrgh. He said the neighbour wants him to take her for dinner as she is starving most nights.
Even he admitted she could be an addict for all he knows.
My dad worked for over 30yrs at a major company and was an accountant. He bought their house when it was brand new 50yrs ago and now the area has turned so bad. My mum and him were extremely quiet, non drug using and boring parents. Totally not cool parents 😄 so it's weird that he is trying to hand around these people that are just a little dodgy. If I wrote the whole story about the ppl in his area id be writing for days.
I feel like dad is just desperate for company or a relationship which I guess is fair enough but I still feel it's a little too soon in my books. Especially to be chasing women rather that just meeting someone and letting it build slowly. But I guess being married for 50yrs would be hard to loose and be left with nothing.
Don't really know what I want, just wanted to get that all out. 😄