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    Default Stuck

    Hi hubbers!

    I'm essentially stuck. My last baby has turned 12mo and I have almost nothing to put on my resume - and I'm nearly 30.

    I really don't want to be stuck forever doing low level jobs, which is where I'll have to start. I feel sad about that too as a lot of people are established in professional careers by now.

    My problem is no matter what I study, I'll never be able to progress, as I'm a single mother with 3 kids and no family.

    Am I just being a Debbie Downer here? I want to find something I'm passionate about, would jump out of bed at 4am for, something that sets me on fire. But I worry I'll be trapped in low level mummy roles all my life now .

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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    eventually your children will all be attending school, perhaps then you will be able to study. don't consider any employment as a dead end, it will be your starting point and everyone has had to start somewhere. Change your perspective, and you will change your life. hugs, marie.

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    Yes, but what about a plan? I badly need a plan. I am a plan person... I'm really struggling to figure one out as it's like looking for something in a pitch black room.

    Because you've basically said, go for it change your outlook, but not, how exactly am I going to do it. How exactly am I going to work outside of daycare hours, travel to locations etc. etc. that often comes with moving up the ladder.
    Last edited by Brain; 27-04-2016 at 12:37.

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    I'm in the exact same boat!
    Only I'm 35, 2 kids, single and I have the kids 100% of the time.

    I thought I'd like to study nursing, but I cannot do the placements.

    The thought of doing menial low paid jobs for the rest of my life, makes me want to pack it in. My little one is nearly 4, so I have to do something soon, she starts school full time next year!!

    No advice, but I'm subbing to read the advice you get given..

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    Quote Originally Posted by Brain View Post
    Yes, but what about a plan? I badly need a plan. I am a plan person... I'm really struggling to figure one out as it's like looking for something in a pitch black room.
    I can relate. I want a plan. I don't want to just wait and see and hope it all turns out. I'm not single but I also have 3 kids and no family here. Child care - be it daycare / oosh and all drop offs and pick ups will always 100% fall on me. I'm fortunate that we can afford for me to study. But I'm 43 and currently have zero free time to study. I need an extremely flexible course that will lead to a flexible part time role when I'd graduate at around 48... Easy peasy 😉
    You are definitely young enough to start a new career. How do you manage on your own financially? If you've no income I think you should get a high proportion of your cc fees paid for if you found something you'd like to study. Maybe start with thinking of a job you'd aspire to have if kids / study etc wasn't an issue and then find out if that's feasible with kids? For me study is my only hope. With full responsibility for 3 kids it could be hard to work your way up from the bottom, but you could gain a good qualification? Unfortunately I think a hell of a lot of research is needed to find the right path. I can't tell you how many potential new careers I've researched only to realise along the line that they were untenable in my situation. But I've not given up home I WILL get a proper job again one day...

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    You don't need to have it all figured out just yet. When i was at uni, I decided it would be a good idea to get some interview practice in for when I was interviewing for real, and applied for jobs that I could apply for (low lying, essentially meaningless jobs that I definitely didn't want to do long term), asked for feedback from interviewers, and ended up with a couple of job offers. I started off at one job, then moved to something a bit closer to the field I was studying in. When it came down to my interview for my current job (the beginning of my career), they could see on my resume that I had had a big break from work, and I didn't lie...said I was at home raising my children, and explained that I had worked really hard for the last three years, getting myself back in the workforce after an extended gap and studying for my career. I am starting at the bottom, but I enjoy it, the pay is good enough, and the fact that I'd had time off working before establishing a career didn't even factor it. I have a 10 year goal for where I want to be, it involves more working hours, and more study to get there...but I have a good thirty years of working life left, I don't need to rush in and do it all now...now I need the flexibility of being there with my kids, whilst slowly building a career.
    It's all about your attitude. I could have declared it too late, and thrown myself in to a meaningless job that I hated going to every day, but I didn't want to do that when I had 30 years of working life left. I went in with the attitude of 'if it's going to be, it's up to me' and there were hurdles and challenges along the way, but that's life. You don't give up. You just work around it.
    I also never got down about the fact that people my age already had established careers...I had kids young, and spent several years at home with them, which I'm so grateful for, and now I'm still plenty young enough to build up to a great career life, too. I had no idea what I wanted to do when I was young, hence why I never had any skills. I just went from one job to the next, trying to find my way in the working world but never really feeling inspired by anything.

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    Quote Originally Posted by preggasaurus View Post
    I'm in the exact same boat!
    Only I'm 35, 2 kids, single and I have the kids 100% of the time.

    I thought I'd like to study nursing, but I cannot do the placements.

    The thought of doing menial low paid jobs for the rest of my life, makes me want to pack it in. My little one is nearly 4, so I have to do something soon, she starts school full time next year!!

    No advice, but I'm subbing to read the advice you get given..
    I was looking into OT but same thing - placement for 2/3 weeks in first semester and they couldn't give me any idea of the contact hours so how can you plan child care??? There are lots of courses now that are fully online - my current research is into masters of early childhood teaching. Tho some days I wonder if I've the temperament for childcare😁 Definitely the focus is different starting over with kids. I look at what roles tend to be flexible and local and then see if I think I could do the job, then check out the pathways. I used to work in public health in the UK but I found out quickly it's different here - eg I'd need to do a rural placement and be available long hours and it's competitive. I think being realistic is important. But also not to get too disheartened - I struggle with that part...

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    Quote Originally Posted by preggasaurus View Post
    The thought of doing menial low paid jobs for the rest of my life, makes me want to pack it in.
    This!

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    Yes, I need a plan - just sitting and waiting is like sitting on a train track and expecting not to get run over. No plan is a bit of a stupid plan. My youngest is now 12 months old and I'm sure they'll lower the Newstart age as soon as an election year is over or something else sneaky, so I think getting a move on now is the safest bet.

    I do think getting my foot in the work force is the beginning...but more of a plan would be good.

    Your situation sounds really tough too unfortunately. Do you have any ideas?

    I am very lucky, financially I am in a very stable position as I have affordable (!!!true story) rent and getting the CCB/CCR as am on the pension - well, I think that's pretty stable, because last year I was paying unaffordable rent, and that was harder.

    Everything will always fall on me - sick kids, unruly kids, picks ups etc.

    Now, here's the hilarious part. Get ready to roll your eyes at me and laugh. Things I know I am interested in:
    • archaeology
    • geology
    • law

    Hahaha. Let's brainstorm how I am going to abysmally fail I mean succeed.

  12. #10
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    See, now, that's a plan.... How I'm even going to get my foot in the door is beyond me.

    I disagree though. If I don't go in with a plan, it's a bit silly. Just doing a degree for the sake of a degree is really just getting a big fat debt next to your name.

    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    You don't need to have it all figured out just yet. When i was at uni, I decided it would be a good idea to get some interview practice in for when I was interviewing for real, and applied for jobs that I could apply for (low lying, essentially meaningless jobs that I definitely didn't want to do long term), asked for feedback from interviewers, and ended up with a couple of job offers. I started off at one job, then moved to something a bit closer to the field I was studying in. When it came down to my interview for my current job (the beginning of my career), they could see on my resume that I had had a big break from work, and I didn't lie...said I was at home raising my children, and explained that I had worked really hard for the last three years, getting myself back in the workforce after an extended gap and studying for my career. I am starting at the bottom, but I enjoy it, the pay is good enough, and the fact that I'd had time off working before establishing a career didn't even factor it. I have a 10 year goal for where I want to be, it involves more working hours, and more study to get there...but I have a good thirty years of working life left, I don't need to rush in and do it all now...now I need the flexibility of being there with my kids, whilst slowly building a career.
    It's all about your attitude. I could have declared it too late, and thrown myself in to a meaningless job that I hated going to every day, but I didn't want to do that when I had 30 years of working life left. I went in with the attitude of 'if it's going to be, it's up to me' and there were hurdles and challenges along the way, but that's life. You don't give up. You just work around it.
    I also never got down about the fact that people my age already had established careers...I had kids young, and spent several years at home with them, which I'm so grateful for, and now I'm still plenty young enough to build up to a great career life, too. I had no idea what I wanted to do when I was young, hence why I never had any skills. I just went from one job to the next, trying to find my way in the working world but never really feeling inspired by anything.


 

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