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  1. #1
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    Default Wanting another baby after 13yr gap?

    So my partner has just told me that he really wants us to try for a baby boy!
    I am stunned actually beyond stunned i think.

    He has a 4yr old access every other weekend and i have a 13yr old and 17yr old (also a 15 yr old who lives with her father).

    I have always wanted another baby particularly a boy but never said anything as he had said he didnt want anymore kids. Now he drops this on me??

    Its been 13 yrs since i had a baby and I'm now 37. A lot has changed in that time.

    My mind is just a big fog of arrghhhh!!

    I'm excited and confused all at the same time.

  2. #2
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    My youngest BIL is 12 years younger than the next youngest, and 18 years younger than my husband. He gots a lot of attention from us all because he's still just a kid.

  3. #3
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    I think there are lots of benefits to large age gaps just as there are benefits of small age gaps between siblings. All swings and roundabouts I believe.

    But how will your dh feel if you have a girl?

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    I would be questioning why he changed his mind? You would both want to be absolutely certain you want another. And be prepared for a girl.

    It will change your life and your relationship as you know.
    It would almost be like a first time baby all over again - which is incredibly exciting but also demanding. I think your older children would love it though and make great babysitters!

    Make a list of pros and cons and have a serious open discussion. And if you don't feel you want another (but he does), don't feel pressured as its a huge decision you both need to be 100% on board for whatever the journey holds. Good luck!

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    My hubby has kids from other relationships, the eldest 18, the youngest 7 and all the ages in between.. We also babysit friends kids, ages 18 months, 7 and 10... and We foster kids, 11 and 14.. We have just had our first together.. I don't think you should be worried as to why he changed his mind... Remember men are made to extend their genes and spread their DNA as far as they can in the time they have.. My husband has always told me he want lots more kids (he has 5 biological already, 6 now we have a baby) with or without me.. I have always wanted a big family but was second guessing if I were ready to have a baby.. When I decided I was, we started trying...
    But as PP's have noted, be prepared for a girl, girl swimmers are faster than boys and live longer too... And remember EVERYTHING that comes with having a baby... Not just the nice things.
    I would always recommend talking with your partner, open and honest...
    Hope this helps.. 😊 good luck...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Albert01 View Post

    But how will your dh feel if you have a girl?
    I did mention that and his reply was thats ok, we'd love her just the same.

    I also asked him why the change and he said he didnt think he would want more children when we first got together but has been thinking about it for a while and he didnt think i wanted more children.

    I've always wanted another baby but never thought i would get the chance.

    I think I'm just a bit nervous about it all as last time i had a baby I was mid 20's so a lot younger now im not far from 40.

    It is all very exciting but still so much has changed.

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    I would say what have you got to lose. I'm due end of July but having c-sec beginning due to complications. Our son is going to be 9 yrs old and he is super excited that he finally going to be a big brother after all these years of us trying to give make him one.

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    I think I'm scared of what could go wrong. I have had 3 miscarriages. 2 (both at 6 weeks) between DD2 and DD3 and the third was twins at 10 wks when DD3 was 8 mths old.

    Sorry all just slightly freaking out a bit lol

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    Urgh as someone who's just getting out of the baby stage are you sure you want to go back there? Some would call this a Debbie downer post, but I'm just reminding you of the down sides of babies.

    Yes the constant wakings. But never being able to take your eyes off them or they are into something they're not. Demanding to be carried everywhere. The toilet training. The tantrums. Baby proofing your whole house. The cost of child care.

    We are the same age and my youngest is two. A woman at work is a few years older than me and had her kids at 18/20. They are now early 20s and she's off to Egypt. Doing whatever she wants. She's young and free and already raised her kids.

    But if it's what you want go for it.

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    I have a 15 year gap between my kids, DS is almost 17 and DD is almost 2. I really love the age gap. My kids have a beautiful bond which i didn't expect. Its tough sometimes but the good outweighs the bad.


 

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