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  1. #41
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    Wishing you all the best. So happy for you. xxxx

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louise41 View Post
    H and I just had a huge talk and have agreed to separate. I'm living here until I save enough money ( 6 weeks) then moving. He and I have decided what I'm taking from home and he's said he will help me get stuff as he has more income than me. We don't own property etc so nothing financial to divide. And I'm not going for his superannuation.

    So I'm feeling happier tonight

    Just thought I'd update

    Xx
    Fantastic update.

    I would strongly suggest you see a lawyer about splitting superannuation though. In addition, you may be entitled to some sort of spousal support. It is rare to be granted spousal support in Australia, however if you have been a long term SAHM and have no means to support yourself, you may have a case.

    You really need to have a long hard think about how you will survive in retirement in the likely event that the old age pension will not exist. Now is the time to put yourself first. Family law provisions allow for super to be split. You are not doing anything wrong by standing up for yourself.

  3. #43
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    I have been following your posts for a long time and the reason why you've always stuck with me (and I always root for you to find happiness) is because I could see myself in you so much in regards to being in an unhappy relationship (we separated too but have since reconciled).
    I am so happy for you! And it sounds as though your H is being very mature and understanding which is awesome.
    I remember when I first ended my relationship (after 16 years together) and it initially felt so surreal, the grief was intense and I felt like I was outside looking in, just such a big internal change. It'll take some getting used to but you will find your feet again. This will be your new normal. The first few weeks are a blur and you'll second guess and fret over the "what ifs" but it will pass 😃

    So wanna high five you right now!! 😜

  4. #44
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    Default Wwyd

    Thank you all so so much for the support and words.

    It means a lot.

    he has said he will help me as much as he can and agrees I need to see a solicitor so that's the next step

    I feel like a weight has been lifted

    Thanks again

    You girls are the best !!!

  5. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Louise41 For This Useful Post:

    babyla  (27-04-2016),babyno1onboard  (27-04-2016),ilex  (27-04-2016),KitiK  (27-04-2016),misskittyfantastico  (27-04-2016),SuperGranny  (28-04-2016),turquoisecoast  (27-04-2016),~Marigold~  (27-04-2016)

  6. #45
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    Congratulations Louise41.... such a difficult decision to make but you did it.

    I agree with SSecretSquirrel about the superannuation though.
    Please don't underestimate the value and contribution that you made over many many years as your dh's wife. Unfortunately the value of a stay at home parent/partner isn't easily quantifiable, probably because it's priceless!!

    Think of all of the things that you contributed to your partnership. If you had not done that you may have been able to accrue your own superannuation in the paid workforce. Therefore, the superannuation your dh accrued over the past 20'something years is both of yours, you just contributed to its growth in different ways.
    Last edited by Albert01; 27-04-2016 at 20:27.

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    SSecret Squirrel  (27-04-2016)

  8. #46
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    I'm so proud!

  9. #47
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    Yes it's 15 years of marriage so lots to think about but all good.

    I'll get lots of legal advice and he's said he won't see me go without

    He's a good man , we have just decided friends is better than hating each other

    He's setting up the spare bedroom right now to move in there tonight before he starts work at 3am

  10. #48
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    Default Wwyd

    He's just told his dad who lives with us ....

  11. #49
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    Great news Hun and I'm so glad it went well. What happened when he told his father? Is everything okay?

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    I don't know your background but honestly if you aren't happy and he is disrespectful or abusive (?) then you need to move forward. I was with my ex for 7 years. I wanted to leave him after two years together. I kept staying because even though he wasn't abusive he was incredibly lazy and made no effort whatsoever in the relationship.
    We broke up in 2010. Two years later I met my current partner ( though I was happy being single for a while first, in fact after leaving ex I felt a sense of relief) and we've been together almost 4 years. We have out ups and downs but he is a zillion times better than ex.

    Don't waist your time anymore. Be happy!!


 

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