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  1. #11
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    I've followed along with some of your posts on here. You've tried, you've really tried to improve things and it hasn't worked. I think you can walk away knowing in your heart that you gave it your best shot and it just wasn't a relationship that was salvageable.

    You could live the rest of your life being miserable, out of a misplaced sense of obligation to other people. I say 'misplaced' because if these people really loved you they'd want you to be happy too, even if that meant leaving your marriage.

    Or, you can leave and have the chance to actually be happy and independent and lead a happy and fulfilling life.

    Your husband might say that he's happy and sees nothing wrong with your marriage, but surely he must sense that you're unhappy, and I can't see how anyone could truly be happy being with someone who's heart was no longer in it. If you let him go, he may have the opportunity to find someone who really wants to be with him too.

    Staying together is holding both of you back from finding true happiness.

    This isn't a dress rehearsal, you don't get to go back and do it again. You don't ever get this time back. So you need to do what's going to make you happy. It's YOUR life, don't live it for other people and sacrifice yourself in the process.

    Best wishes hun xx

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  3. #12
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    You've got one life OP. Don't live it for other people. Hugs!

  4. #13
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    Based on your post history, you should leave. You deserve to be happy. You have stuck it out for long enough.



    Here's something I used to think about... Aussies have a life expectancy of about 80 years... that means you could be in this marriage for another 30-40 years (sorry don't know how old you are). When I used to think about it, it was a potential 50 years for me!
    Can you imagine feeling this way for another 30 years??

  5. #14
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    Definitely go be in your own and happy. Life is far far far too short to spend so many years unhappy and unfulfilled. If your family care about you they'd want you to be happy too.
    I went through a divorce 10 years ago. My parents didn't understand and sided with my ex DH for a while. They got over it. I'm remarried they love my DH and they can see I am beyond happier. I also absolutely loved my 5 years living on my own in between (still miss it sometimes!!).
    You've spent a long long time being a mum and wife and living for other people you do deserve to be happy and just living life for you now xo

  6. #15
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Get excited @Louise41 because you won't know yourself when you actually experience real happiness.
    It's the old cliche but it's true, life is short, you've only got one chance.
    You'll grieve and you will mourn initially, because you've lost something and it will feel like death. But unlike death, there's something positive here, a new life for you. You deserve so much happiness.
    I don't know how helpful this all is, but all I can say is that I've been where you are now. My circumstances turned out differently but I know what it feels like; going through the motions while stuck in an unhappy, unhealthy partnership is a special kind of hell.
    Wishing you the very best, I hope you choose YOU this time x

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  8. #16
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    It's a no brainer for me - it's time to leave.

    You are about the same age as me, life is really too short, I'm excited for you and well done for getting yourself to the point where you can financially leave him!! His relationship with you financially has been abusive IMO. You owe him nothing.

  9. #17
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    I'm with the majority on this one so far. They've all worded it far better than I could ever hope to. You deserve to be happy. Do what YOU want. The others are old enough to look after themselves. You are important and your feelings matter. Be happy.

  10. #18
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    A friend of mine asked me a similar thing not long ago. My response was...
    What would u rather have happen, Leave now and be friends with your ex or stay and end up resenting your ex for making u miserable for so long and hating him?

    If u can split now on friendly terms and still be friends I would do it. I know a few people that have stayed and ended up hating their partner. They cant talk without mediation, cant co-parent nicely and its horrible for them.

    Talk to your husband and make the decision together. I would rather leave now and be friends than in 5 years and hate everything about him.

  11. #19
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    It's a no brainer for me - do what makes you happy and and leave.

    Don't worry about what other people think. This is your marriage and you are miserable. You need to do what makes you happy.

  12. #20
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    Go forth and be happy hon. Life is too short.

    Even if you don't have enough money to live independently initially, you could take a first step and move in with someone. Do you have relatives who might be able to help you? Other single friends.

    Sometimes things like these are overwhelming, but it's like that old saying - "How do you eat an elephant?" The answer is piece by piece by piece.

    One step at a time hon Good luck!


 

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