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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    just saw the bit where you said he yells at your ds. the baby is 8 weeks old. wtaf!?

    yelling at anyone is not nice but yelling at a baby!?

    sorry but I'd lock scum like that out if the house. let him go drink himself to death I say. what a fantastic dad he is. 🙄
    Sometimes as a parent you yell at your kids. It doesn't make you a monster or scum, as long as he wasn't swearing at him or calling him names or making a general habit out of it, I would say he was just having a weak moment.

    Maybe remember these words the first time you yell at your child. Remember that that moment would apparently make you scum.

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    Sometimes as a parent you yell at your kids. It doesn't make you a monster or scum, as long as he wasn't swearing at him or calling him names or making a general habit out of it, I would say he was just having a weak moment.

    Maybe remember these words the first time you yell at your child. Remember that that moment would apparently make you scum.
    Yeah sorry yelling at an 8 week old because you couldn't stay out all night on the ****? I'm pretty sympathetic to most things but this isn't one of them.

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  5. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Yeah sorry yelling at an 8 week old because you couldn't stay out all night on the ****? I'm pretty sympathetic to most things but this isn't one of them.
    this was my angle too.

    of course I get you yell at your kids sometimes. but at an 8 week old because you can't stay out and get blotto is unacceptable.

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  7. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    this was my angle too.

    of course I get you yell at your kids sometimes. but at an 8 week old because you can't stay out and get blotto is unacceptable.
    Exactly. Time to explain that someone is now a dad and needs to put his big boy pants on.

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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    Sometimes as a parent you yell at your kids. It doesn't make you a monster or scum, as long as he wasn't swearing at him or calling him names or making a general habit out of it, I would say he was just having a weak moment.

    Maybe remember these words the first time you yell at your child. Remember that that moment would apparently make you scum.
    He wasn't yelling at a kid who has pushed buttons/being naughty. He was yelling at a BABY. An 8 week old helpless baby. Because he was asked to come home instead of staying out all night. Scum is harsh, but I'd be leaning that way too.

    I yell at my kids as sometimes as its what gets them to stop their bad behaviour. And I don't think that makes me scum. But I've never yelled at my kids because they interrupted my social life and I was pi$$ed off about it!

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    A good friend of mine had a DH who yelled at their newborn. Suffice to say that was the beginning of the end. It's a messed up person who yells at a baby.

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  13. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    this was my angle too.

    of course I get you yell at your kids sometimes. but at an 8 week old because you can't stay out and get blotto is unacceptable.
    I think the OP is being read differently by us all. The op said "DH occasionally goes out to mates house or a 'boys weekend away'. It's an only boys thing with alcohol (NOT a stripper/hookers type of even). He enjoys having drinks with his mates but when he comes home it's like he comes home angry that he has to come home to us.


    After the last boys night out he has come home yelling at our son and implying that he could not make the most of it because I told him he could not stay over at mates house (meaning he could not get too drunk) We have a 8 weeks old baby so not a good time."

    First paragraph says 'it's like he comes home angry that he has to come home to us'. This says to me that she has assumed that is the case, she didn't say he told her that he doesn't want to come home to them.

    Second paragraph says to me that he can home and was A. Yelling at his son and B. Implied (not said - implied) that he couldn't make the most of his boys night because the OP told him to come home and not stay the night. A and B are two separate things.

    Both are also separate to yelling at the baby. Which says to me that firstly the OPs husband has had a boys night out that didn't happen according to plan, which meant he came home in a grump because he 'supposedly' was upset he couldn't stay the night. This grumpy mood led to him yelling at his son.

    If he had come home and started ranting at the son for no reason and accused the son of ruining his night - absolutely not on, but if he was in a bad mood because of the night he had and in a moment of say the baby being unsettled, he may have yelled. That's two completely different things.

    I guess point is, we don't know the sequence of events of what the OPs husband yelled at the son, or whether it was related to feeling like his life was ruined by the DS. OP can you clarify?

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    If the roles were reversed (8 week old in the house, mum went out with friends, was yelling at kids) people would probably be raising concerns about the mums mental health instead of burning her at the stake.

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  17. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    I think the OP is being read differently by us all. The op said "DH occasionally goes out to mates house or a 'boys weekend away'. It's an only boys thing with alcohol (NOT a stripper/hookers type of even). He enjoys having drinks with his mates but when he comes home it's like he comes home angry that he has to come home to us.


    After the last boys night out he has come home yelling at our son and implying that he could not make the most of it because I told him he could not stay over at mates house (meaning he could not get too drunk) We have a 8 weeks old baby so not a good time."

    First paragraph says 'it's like he comes home angry that he has to come home to us'. This says to me that she has assumed that is the case, she didn't say he told her that he doesn't want to come home to them.

    Second paragraph says to me that he can home and was A. Yelling at his son and B. Implied (not said - implied) that he couldn't make the most of his boys night because the OP told him to come home and not stay the night. A and B are two separate things.

    Both are also separate to yelling at the baby. Which says to me that firstly the OPs husband has had a boys night out that didn't happen according to plan, which meant he came home in a grump because he 'supposedly' was upset he couldn't stay the night. This grumpy mood led to him yelling at his son.

    If he had come home and started ranting at the son for no reason and accused the son of ruining his night - absolutely not on, but if he was in a bad mood because of the night he had and in a moment of say the baby being unsettled, he may have yelled. That's two completely different things.

    I guess point is, we don't know the sequence of events of what the OPs husband yelled at the son, or whether it was related to feeling like his life was ruined by the DS. OP can you clarify?
    fair enough.

    I still don't believe yelling at a baby is acceptable.

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  19. #30
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    Default moody husband after a boys night.

    OP - how often does hubby go out like this? Was last night a special occasion for any reason? How have you both been adapting to parenthood this time round?

    For me these considerations could be the difference between "he needs to sort that **** out" and "you need to give him some freedom and support" advice.
    Last edited by VicPark; 24-04-2016 at 15:31.


 

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