DS (5) has a cousin 6 months younger and they are best mates but lately the cousin has been extra aggressive ( we all believe from starting pre school and some of the boys he's playing with) and the last few times our boys have been together cousin is deliberately punching/hitting DS when they play soccer or are on the trampoline , DS is naturally not aggressive and never fights back, he sort of just says stop it or I won't play with you if you keep hitting me ( which is what we've always told him to do)
So tonight we were over at their house and I heard SIL walk outside and said to my DH ( her brother) are you just going to let them do this? I walked out and DS had cousin in a headlock! I told both boys to get up and go inside and shake it off - just now DH said he went out the back when he saw cousin laying into DS and said to DS "Mate if he's deliberately hitting you and won't stop then hit him back" which DS apparently did , this shocked cousin and he sort of gave in to DS
Now I hate violence of any kind and got cranky with DH saying that I don't want DS to think over powering any one is a good thing and he said he's all for DS not being aggressive but if a kid is laying in to him he needs to fight back or he will just be picked on , especially as he's getting older - bully's pick on kids who they know won't won't fight back, I still had a chat to DS about it and SIL is mortified about her son fighting as well and I'm sure the boys will be fine but what do you tell your kids about this kind of thing ? Do your husbands have the same thoughts as DH ? I don't want DS to think fighting is ok but then I don't want him to not stand up for himself either! I honestly hoped we wouldn't have to worry about this just yet!