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  1. #1
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    Default Would my sons want a 3rd baby?

    Just a few days after braining my 2nd son home I started to ache for a 3rd. It's been seven weeks now and it's gone from 'I must get my 3rd' to 'do I really want a 3rd or is it just hormones'.

    Last few days I've put my feelings aside and started to assess the situation from my 2 sons point of view. My children are 4yr old and 2 month old. My 4 year old has been great, loves his little brother, there is enough age gap so that each child is in a very different stage and we can pamper each child. My husband and I take turns spending time with them one on one. The dynamic seems to be perfect. I dare say that this is as good as it gets.

    But what are the chances that my sons will be better of with a 3rd child in the house? Will they frown upon us later on?

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    I don't think anyone is necessarily better off with another sibling or however many children in a family. I think what makes it right is that us, as parents make it work regardless of how many children. If you still have enough love to give for another and long for another then go for it.
    I'm currently pregnant with my 5th, my girls will be so excited once I tell them they are getting another sibling. As long as they aren't missing out on things because i had more children than I could cope with or afford than its ok.

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    My 3 are always complaining that someone is left out...

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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    My 3 are always complaining that someone is left out...
    That's why we had a 4th. But even then there's no guarantees kids will get along.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    That's why we had a 4th. But even then there's no guarantees kids will get along.
    I keep telling Dh that too.

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    Don't stress about it until another few months when the hormones have settled down. Enjoy your current bub for now.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    That's why we had a 4th. But even then there's no guarantees kids will get along.
    We just counteract our uneven number of children with playdates....every day there's extra children here...but they all go home and I don't have to raise them, or be financially responsible for them 😂

    OP, just give it time...your baby is tiny still. Your kids will adjust to whatever family dynamics they are living in.

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    Quote Originally Posted by babybloom View Post
    Just a few days after braining my 2nd son home I started to ache for a 3rd. It's been seven weeks now and it's gone from 'I must get my 3rd' to 'do I really want a 3rd or is it just hormones'.

    Last few days I've put my feelings aside and started to assess the situation from my 2 sons point of view. My children are 4yr old and 2 month old. My 4 year old has been great, loves his little brother, there is enough age gap so that each child is in a very different stage and we can pamper each child. My husband and I take turns spending time with them one on one. The dynamic seems to be perfect. I dare say that this is as good as it gets.

    But what are the chances that my sons will be better of with a 3rd child in the house? Will they frown upon us later on?
    I could have written this. In fact I think I wrote a similar thread a few weeks ago! I also have a 4 yo son and 7 wk old son. I had thought I was done but hours after giving birth I wanted another. Ha ha.

    I am giving myself some time to decide. Packing away instead of giving away maternity clothes. Keeping our maternity private health cover (well still have to discuss that with DH!). I don't think I have to decide just yet - can you give it some time? I think I will allow myself 12 months then reassess. I would allow longer but I am turning 37 this year and don't want to leave it too much longer as it could take me a while to fall pregnant again if I decide to.

    But yes the age gap would be smaller for the third and this would make it harder for me I feel, and also my eldest might feel left out I don't know how it would change things there.

    Just keeping the option there is enough for me right now. I have days where I am like, our family doesn't feel complete. Then I have days where I think, 2 is nice, we could provide them with such a good lifestyle financially if we stop here. I too love the fact I could pamper them both as newborns, the gap really meant I could focus fully on both pregnancy and newborn stages. And stages to come.

    But I am not afraid to admit I would really like to try for a girl. Even if it means ending up with 3 boys, that would be fine - I love my boys.

    Sorry not much help but wanted to let you know exact same boat!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Full House View Post
    We just counteract our uneven number of children with playdates....every day there's extra children here...but they all go home and I don't have to raise them, or be financially responsible for them 😂

    OP, just give it time...your baby is tiny still. Your kids will adjust to whatever family dynamics they are living in.
    I was kind of joking.

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    I really can't see kids growing up to be adults who frown upon their parents for having given them siblings! That would be a pretty selfish attitude really. What if your parents decided not to have you? Anyway, I agree that with your new baby at only 2 months old, you probably do have all sorts of baby/mum bonding hormones around and you won't really know what's right for your family for at least a few months and probably a few years!


 

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