Last edited by ChatlotteA; 08-05-2016 at 19:28.
Biggest hugs to you.
I can totally relate.
I suffer extreme anxiety and depression aswell, which I have had all my life. At times it is better or worse. After having my son, I felt a huge need to 'be a perfect mum' and 'look a perfect mum' and my mental state spiralled out of control. I realised I couldn't and didn't want to live like this anymore so went to my gp. He started me back on medication and a few months later I started counselling. I went every 2 weeks then lessening to 6 weekly. I was encouraged to talk to my partner about my feelings and eventually I started to escape the dark black hole.
It's nearly 2 years since I stared seeing the psych and I don't see her any more. My meds were increased a while back and for the most part I feel stable. Things aren't perfect but I have tools now to fight my negative brain.
I'd love to say you can be 'cured' of these horrible conditions but you probably won't.
I guess my main point is that you have to learn to live with this and control it. And you often can't do that yourself because your brain is at war with yourself.
Please go see your gp and talk about counselling or meds, I promise these things can work and you can feel better.
Lots of love and support sent your way x
Ps. I didn't mean to make this post about me.... More explain how I relate so you don't fob of my advice as 'what would she know?!'
I'm sorry you feel like this. Mental illness can take so much away and make us feel hopeless, worthless and like a failure.
You are not a failure. Recovery is possible, but it's not an easy uphill stroll. There will be times where you fall and that's okay. As long as you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep going. You are stronger than you think...I mean...you're still trying and that says something.
Are you currently taking any meds or have you been on any in the past?
At the risk of sounding insensitive and harsh, is it possible you something more than depression? I'm wondering about body image issues or perhaps an eating disorder? You describe yourself as morbidly obese, however you only weight 67kg. To even be considered obese at that weight, you would need to be less than 145cm. You have also said you binge eat.
Just a few things that jumped out at me in your post.
Apologies if I am off the mark.
Any chance you're not morbidly obese? That you are healthy however the standards you set for yourself are not realistic due to your underlying anxiety and depression?
I hope you are ably to get support from a professional xx
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