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  1. #1
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    Default Stopping a violent two year old???

    We are at a point where we are trying to work out if he is a normal 2yo (22 months actually) and we just lucked out with the other kids or if we should take him to see someone.
    He is so aggressive. He pulls hair and clothes and hits people, either with his hand or with toys. And he laughs about it. We were smacking his hand but he seemed to like the reaction so we now do time outs which, to be honest, do jack all. He just screams and when he gets let out, will chase down and hurt the kid that got him there in the first place.
    The other day the nephews were here at MILs where we are staying for holidays and he pulled his 2yo cousins hair. He got put in MILs room for time out. I even said to SIL "watch, he will go straight after [2yo cousin] as soon as he gets out". Hubby let him out and followed him. He marched right up to his cousin but because hubby was there, just stood there trying to intimidate him and then stalked him for about 10 minutes.
    I just saw him grab Miss3s hair and try to drag her across the floor, all while smiling.
    It's not provoked and it's not because he wants something they have etc. it's like he just does it for the fun of it, and then will do it if he has the cranks at them for getting him in trouble for doing it.
    Is this normal "terrible twos" behaviour? We've never experienced it before.

    We've tried ignoring him but he doesn't seem to care. Just keeps doing it. It's a constant, all day thing.
    I just saw him go over and kick down the tower Mr4 was building with MegaBloks. Hubby removed him and took him to the kitchen. He just came straight back and kicked it over again.
    If he is hitting me, I will grab his hands to stop him, and he will headbutt me.
    My older boys were pretty rough and tumble but none seemed like they actually just enjoyed being violent and certainly not as common as this. We have to separate his car seat from the others as he will attack them constantly. He attacks them when they are sleeping even.
    I woke up this morning. Everyone was still asleep on the air mattresses on the floor (at MILs) and he was just bashing a toy cat into Mr4s head. Everyone was sleeping though, so that's what I mean about unprovoked. He just thinks it's all hilarious

  2. #2
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    I don't think its normal 2 year old behaviour.. I really don't know what you can do tbh, do you think taking him to be assessed by a developmental pead could help? Im really stumped, i hope u have an answer asap.

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    That's what we a trying to workout if it's worth doing. When he's not being aggressive, he's a typical cuddly little toddler. It really just seems like it's just another game for him to play.
    He's a real little mummies boy, so it could be an attention thing maybe? But not sure.

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    Alot of toddlers do go this phase but its always worth getting it checked out if you are worried and feel like it could be something more.

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    It's just unusual as my other 3 kids (2 boys and a girl) never were like this.

  6. #6
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    My DS was exactly the same around that age. Something that I learnt from friends and CC educators was not to reinforce the behaviour by scolding/responding to my son, but to pay full attention to the person who was hurt. As in, go over the top with consoling, doing something nice with that person. It escalated his behaviour for a little while but he soon learned there were better ways to get attention, and there were nicer forms of attention to receive. Would that work for your son, do you think?

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    Worth a try I would say. We already try to just put him in time out and pay the other kid attention but might try ramping it up

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    100% agree with Harvs.

    I wonder if it's not so much that he likes violence as he actually likes the response he gets.

    He gets immediate attention, doesn't matter if it's good or bad, because any attention is great when you're 2, you're the youngest in the house and you have 3 older siblings to compete with. It doesn't sound like he is actually feeling angry or out of control when he's doing this stuff, he's laughing...cheeky monkey.

    When he hurts a sibling or someone else perhaps you could respond by giving attention to whoever has been hurt while completely ignoring your little guy?

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    Oh sorry, I just read your previous post.

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    Oddly enough, he was very settled today so I didn't actually get a chance to try the overbearing attention on the other child approach. I'll be sure to try it tomorrow though


 

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