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  1. #11
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    We signed papers saying if we were to seperate what do we want done with the eggs . If one of us passed away what do we want done with them etc .
    The clinic should be able to look up your paperwork and tell you what you opted for at the time. I had to circle what we wanted.. Good luck I hope he happily agrees you can use your donated eggs xx

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ngaiz View Post
    If it were me I too would happily take full financial responsibility as I would prefer my children to be full siblings as opposed to half if I did a full donor cycle. Dh only has half siblings and to see the difference in the way he is treated is heartbreaking.

    I would still allow full contact with Dad (hopefully he would be OK with that). I guess that becomes part of the discussion you need to have. Also, if you don't want him using them with his new partner is there the chance she will veto you using them to prevent him being 'tied' to you by a second child?..

    Sorry, I have actually gone through all of this in my head before because there was a time after Dd was born that I didn't think we would still be together to have a second and these are all the questions I had running through my mind.
    I agree, I don't have step siblings so can't comment on that. But I do have to full siblings who I love to bits. Though for me its the whole...I have no choice but to use my donor friend again. And I also dont know if I will ever find love again (but thats going off topic). I really feel..as I have said...these embies are my last hope and chance.

    Its very possible that she would do that...I wouldn't put it past her, she took my hubby. Though yes, he was a grown man and knew what he was doing and takes half the blame as well...I believe (without going into huge detail) she was jealous of my life.
    THOUGH.....this is hunch only...I do not think they are together anymore.
    But I have to assume they are as I have no proof. And assuming they are, I believe she will have a say and "stop" him from saying yes.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by kim85 View Post
    We signed papers saying if we were to seperate what do we want done with the eggs . If one of us passed away what do we want done with them etc .
    The clinic should be able to look up your paperwork and tell you what you opted for at the time. I had to circle what we wanted.. Good luck I hope he happily agrees you can use your donated eggs xx
    Thank you!!
    Is it ok to ask which clinic??

  4. #14
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    Concept in Perth when I did that..

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to kim85 For This Useful Post:

    nightdreamer  (17-04-2016)

  6. #15
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    Hiya. This happened to me - after my ex and I split, I spent five years hoping to meet mr right before asking to use our three embies.
    They were so loved and wanted and we'd been through so much to get them
    My clinic said regardless of past consents, current trumps past, so unless they got a current consent from my ex to donate them to me (ie be a donor and not on birth certificate) I couldn't use them. '

    I couldn't get this from him and so they'll be destroyed, it gave me the push I needed to start a donor process and do this on my own. This was MIVF. It is heart wrenching to have to destory embies you love and want, and it feels like all the power is his.
    I feel for you, feel free to pm me xx

  7. #16
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    Hi Jelly...thanks SO much for the reply...sorry I am late reading and replying back. I will send you a PM right after this. As awful as this sounds, I am glad someone has been there (only for the advice, not for anything else)
    I am sorry you had to go through this!

  8. #17
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    My gf is an embryologist and these cases come up a lot. She was recently in court with this exact scenario. Unfortunately you need his consent. There is just no way around it. I hope he has it in his heart to donate them to you. Wishing you all the luck 😘

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    nightdreamer  (24-05-2016)

  10. #18
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    Thanks WinterJade :-)

    I feel like I posted this thread and then disappeared...life got hectic with other things. Just a really quick update. Basiclly we got a bill for the embryo storage so I really had no choice but to bring this up with him. I said that we had been through so much to get them and that is was my only chance for more children and that I really didnt want them destroyed (he knows my friend and donors feelings on not donating them). He said he agreed with me ...my head is now spinning. He has agreed to pay half the storage fee and we are going to discuss what to do with them a bit later on.

    Thank you everyone for your advice and help! I really hope no one else finds themselves in this situation. IVF is hard enough without this extra complication.

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to nightdreamer For This Useful Post:

    babyno1onboard  (24-05-2016),MonkeyMumma  (25-05-2016)


 

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