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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by cheeeeesecake View Post
    I agree with this. I worked part time after I had my first baby, but she went through a batch of illness at around the same time I started work. I had to cancel important meetings because my dh's work 'doesnt support men taking carers leave' 😐 When I had day surgery & dh had to take a day (ONE DAY) off to look after the kids whilst I was having the surgery, they said to him, 'why can't her mum look after the kids?' Thankfully dh isn't in that job any more, & his new job is very family friendly. But I have slowly given up on the idea of having a career with young children (the main factor being child care for 3 kids costs more than my wage brings in). I am a teacher & I plan to do my masters in a few years time & get my foot back in the door that way (I would be interested to hear how you go with that @Tamtam - what are you doing your masters in?) I also have fully thrown myself into a life as a SAHM & decided that I will embrace this time with gusto!. I volunteer at my kids school, run a community group (which is related to my field of early childhood education), work with a local health group providing social support for mums with PND, & work with another community group providing support to a range of people - particularly elderly. I do all of my activities with my kids in tow, so it's hard sometimes, but I love what I do & feel like I have the opportunity at this time in my life to help my community. We are on a single 60k income, but we do ok - the thing I struggle with is feeling valuable in what I do (oh, you're just a SAHM? Why dont you work?) I know this lifestyle doesnt work for everyone, but it works for us.
    It was easier to quote than remember how many eeeees there are!
    I'm doing a masters in special education. I have 3 subjects done. .. 2 this term. .I'm hoping i can push through.
    I'm trying to keep my options open for head of special education or inclusion worker/coach type role. Alternatively I'd like to go into teacher training at uni. ..possibly pursue a PhD.
    In an ideal world I'd become a consultant where I help in schools for a contracted term or something and support teachers with inclusion programs.
    We shall see where it goes. But it feels right so I know it is a positive move. I'd always thought I'd be a deputy or curriculum leader by now. .. but life took different twists and turns.

    In terms of killing my career. .I was very depressed about it for while. Adding the special needs child /medically complicated/sick Costantly/therapy and hospital appointments. ..the reality is no work place would want me. That's the truth.
    And I'm not into the sucking it up philosophy. My daughter comes first over my career. And although these things were a huge frustration I've just decided that it's for the best for my situation. But studying and professional development I felt was a good choice to keep moving forward. Financially is a struggle. ..we've gone from 2 pretty good incomes to having less than half what we had before.
    But as long as we're happy!

  2. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by amiracle4me View Post
    Yes and no. I was more struggling with the idea that are literally no jobs to apply for in what I do P/T 😞
    It would be the same for me. Thankfully I haven't been in the position of having to job hunt since being a parent. I would go for FT, knowing that you'll be able to drop some hours once you've got settled or as pp suggested leave the hours negotiations until you been offered the job.
    Can I also put it out there that you don't have to apply for jobs at a lower level than you've done before, you're every bit as good as you were, have confidence in that and you'll shine 😃

  3. #83
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    I didn't have a career before having babies, but I did decide to have babies young and one of the reasons was so that I can study while I'm a SAHM, and when my babies are in school I can start working and no have to take breaks to have babies knowing that it can hinder my chances of getting work - as unfair as it is. I'm now studying teaching, and my partner is also employed by the NSW govt.

    Of my friends with kids, the ones who've gone back to their old jobs with relatively little stress are the ones employed in the public, not private sector.

  4. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkTutu View Post
    It's not really that awful! It can be full on at times, but the rest of the time
    I am truly fortunate, I can leave at 4:30 and I can work from home. I am given way more flexibility than most in our business.

    I completely respect that not everyone wants to or is prepared to do this, but for your career to continue as it was pre kids (which was the vain of this thread) I do think you need to be prepared to be flexible with travel/remote access on days off/late night con calls.

    Looking forward to my mat leave... Def not counting down to that at all... 6 more months 😝
    You've clearly worked really hard and deserve everything you have. I think what you're not quite understanding is that most part time working parents are willing to be just as flexible as you are, they just haven't been given the opportunity. That's what's rankled people about your post.

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  6. #85
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    This is one of the reasons why I never wanted kids... and a huge con when H asked me to stay home for a year with baby.

    I plan on starting a course when she is 3 months, so there isn't a big gap in my cv. It will be a new career too, so being out of work a year won't matter much as I will be starting from scratch anyway.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sally1981 View Post
    You've clearly worked really hard and deserve everything you have. I think what you're not quite understanding is that most part time working parents are willing to be just as flexible as you are, they just haven't been given the opportunity. That's what's rankled people about your post.
    Well... A lot of the comments (not all tho, granted) are about lack of flexibility then in the next breath, not wanting to travel, not wanting to work extra hours, I quoted some in my initial post. I was just trying to come from the angle that in order to receive flexibility you sometimes have to demonstrate your own. Unfortunately job flexibility isn't a right - yes it should be, but as we all know it's not.

    Anyway sorry to have rankled you, and anyone else, I'll bow out now.

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  9. #87
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    TheGooch is offline Winner 2014 - Newbie of the Year
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    Mine hasn't been. But that's because I returned to work full time when DS was 5 months old. This was by choice. I could have taken longer, including paid leave I had accrued.
    However I wonder what it would have been like had I argued for part time. The Board Chair made it clear they thought the CEO should be full time, no questions. Even though they let the outgoing CEO work 4 days in her last 12 months - but that's another story.
    I was lucky. I had the income to pay full time care, a husband who is a farmer and whilst he can't take lots of time off consecutively, he's flexible enough that any time DS was unwell at childcare, he was able to do his fair share and more so than me to be honest.
    My organisation has an exceptional return to work record for women returning to work after bubs with 100% of staff who take parental leave returning to their own jobs when they return. Part time, full time, whatever. And I never deny anyone flexible work arrangements.
    But... This is in a social and community services organisation. It's a not for profit. Most of our staff are women, including managers. I've never made anyone redundant whilst on parental leave. I honestly had no idea of how tough it is for women in other industries, particularly corporate and for profit. I mean I'd heard about it sure, but never first hand from people who had experienced it. And it sucks.

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  11. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkTutu View Post

    Anyway sorry to have rankled you, and anyone else, I'll bow out now.
    Very gracefully done. Thank you for explaining yourself. XXX

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    My career is at a standstill. I'm treading water but that actually suits me, I work part time which in my workplace, means you do not get offered opportunities to act up when more senior staff are on leave and all management positions are full time. If I was happy to work full time, then I would still be able to progress.

    I already had my job when I got pregnant so had the entitlement to work part time, friends who have resigned from their jobs seem to be the ones who struggle to get their foot back in the door, particularly if they want part time work.

    It has been my personal experience that unless you are OK with your child being in child care for long hours, it is not possible for two people to climb the ladder. When there are kids involved, one person needs to take a step back to allow the other person the freedom to do the hours it takes to get somewhere. DH has had the opportunity to go further while I have been working part time as I am there to make sure the dinner is on the table and the kids are not spending 12 hours a day in child care, but, on the days I work he has to leave on time to get home to pick the kids up and get dinner done. It's not all or nothing, my job still pays the bills and I feel that working part time, I need to be fully there on the days I am at work.

    We share the carers leave as he has carers leave entitlements. If your hubby does not get paid to take leave that creates a stressful environment, my colleagues' husband does not get paid leave, so her 10 days a year has to provide sick leave for 3 people, it does not work, but if your hubby has paid leave entitlements, he should take them, it is about incremental change in how men are perceived in the workplace, they are parents too and need to be present.

    I think careers only really suffer if you want part time work, if you are happy to go in full time and do the hours it takes, then you will keep progressing.
    Last edited by NoteToSelf; 17-04-2016 at 14:02.

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    I had been doing shift work for 6 years when I went on maternity leave. When I was due to return I was told I would now be a day worker and take a 40% pay cut by doing so. Apparently I hadn't been permanent on shift 🙄. Anyway I was in the union who called them on their BS and I regained my original position back.

    I do work full time and I haven't been adversely effected by having kids but only because I put up a fight. I am lucky. Most employees aren't in a position to fight it as their employers do it in a dodgier more hidden way.

    The head of my company actually gave a speech on international women's day which covered most of the issues in this thread. It was great to have it acknowledged.


 

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