Last edited by Ngaiz; 17-04-2016 at 07:31.
Sadly the overwhelming experience of others in this thread is not so positive. I go back to my previous post and say again that there is discrimination against women by women going on too. Your comments imply that everyone who is experiencing setbacks because of their family "should just try harder" to make it work (including just sucking it up). Until you walk a mile in other people's shoes, don't judge them. Celebrate what you have, support others to achieve their goals, and don't presume that you have all the answers.
Tamtam - what are you doing your masters in?) I also have fully thrown myself into a life as a SAHM & decided that I will embrace this time with gusto!. I volunteer at my kids school, run a community group (which is related to my field of early childhood education), work with a local health group providing social support for mums with PND, & work with another community group providing support to a range of people - particularly elderly. I do all of my activities with my kids in tow, so it's hard sometimes, but I love what I do & feel like I have the opportunity at this time in my life to help my community. We are on a single 60k income, but we do ok - the thing I struggle with is feeling valuable in what I do (oh, you're just a SAHM? Why dont you work?) I know this lifestyle doesnt work for everyone, but it works for us.
Wow.. Thank you everyone for your responses. It's been really interesting ( if not a little sad ) to read them. I guess this is all new to me so it's good to understand the lay of the land and my options.
I think @PinkTutu makes some valid points. I was open in my interview about wanted to BF my baby on my lunchbreak as the CCC was literally next door. I was also asked if I could travel interstate and I said that would be hard. In hindsight I should have kept the BF idea to myself and said yes to travel and figured it out later. I've certainly learnt my lesson and will be very prepared the next time!
I don't agree tho that we should just work harder and smarter.. It's genuinely hard to find the right hours at the right skill level and I've got some mummy friends who have been shafted royally by work but are to scared to leave as they know getting a new P/T job at a senior level is impossible.
For all of those ladies feeling down about yourself too. I'm sorry. It's made me feel less alone tho so thank you for sharing. I hope you get back into the workforce with your dream job soon.
I think everyone is comfortable with CC at their own pace. I only walked round one centre the other day ( next to where I interviewed ) and I wasn't 100% comfortable with leaving my DD there now at her age. So maybe it's a blessing in disguise.
I think I'll wait till she's about 14 months and then look for full time and/or negotiate 4 days a week. The thought of being out of the workforce for many years is both depressing and scary.
If I can't find anything then I'll finally start the degree I wanted to do and volunteer in my field to keep relevance.
With regards to the other debate re: the male picking up care. My DH gets 2 months paid parental leave so his work is very family friendly. He does however bring in double my salary and has a lot more on due to being a senior manager so of course it wouldn't make sense to ask him to share 50:50.. The problem isn't at family level but needs to be lobbied higher up. There should be a mandatory that employers need to offer at least 10% of jobs as part time or job share.
This is a big problem generally in society at the moment - highly skilled/experienced women not returning to work after children (whether they want to or not) or having to settle for a lower position than they are actually qualified for due to lack of flexibility etc.
I'm lucky atm in that I'm studying postgraduately which pays a small scholarship which is reasonably flexible. My dh can't take time off at all as he is a casual worker - so dodgy as he works full time regular hours but due to his award his employer has no obligation to offer a permanent contract. So if he takes time off, dh doesn't get paid. That leaves me to deal with it if ds sick or anything. Dh is studying atm so hopefully that will lead to a more family friendly career which will mean I can persue mine once I've finished my degree.
I'm involved in a group at uni whose aim is to improve the situation of women in my area (science). Unfortunately a huge number of highly qualified and intelligent women end up leaving science.
@PinkTutu, I get what you're saying and you clearly work hard, but you have been lucky. I made it clear to my employer that I understood my 3 day week would include being available by phone on my days off, having DH do the daycare pickup on my work days so I could work back unpaid, being available for reasonable travel, and using my remote login to to extra work when needed. Still not good enough, apparently. Some employers just have a 'bums in seats' mentality when it comes to dedication to a company.
Pregnant for the first-time?
Not sure where to start? We can help!