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  1. #31
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    There is no way I could go back into my line of work now that I have been out of it for almost two years. i would have to brush up on everything. Also I have made the decision not to return to that industry.

    After working part time with my first two babies and finding it very hard to juggle everything ( i used to have to bring a lot of work home with me) and deal with the mummy guilt, I have decided to be a sahm with my little one. This means we might struggle financially but it means I can have that all important time with dd. Also when she starts preschool/school I can concentrate on establishing another career!

    Anyway I agree with what the others have said - don't mention you have kids lol. Its hard to do but just don't. At least not in the interview.
    Last edited by bubbasmum; 16-04-2016 at 22:01.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by JR03 View Post
    Why is it your career that has to suffer though? Your husband works long hours, so it's up to you to pick up the slack? I realise there might be practical reasons for this but I'm just playing devils advocate. Hubby could cut down on his work hours and take responsibility for some after school activities. Kids could go to after school care. They don't need after school sport. Take leave for medical appointments or make up the time on another day. Again, devils advocate - I'm just suggesting that it isn't impossible for you to work closer to full time hours and progress your career.
    On this note - my DH has zero flexibility in his field so even though he would love to do child care drop offs, take leave when she's sick, work part-time it's never ever going to happen so with my job being somewhat flexible it's down to me. He's gone from 6:30am-5pm and away frequently there is no room to move in his job. So yes I think us women have it hard with our careers but I also think many men have it hard too as so many male-dominated workplaces offer absolutely zero flexibility for family. Which in turn makes it harder on women again. So while in theory it would be good for dh's to work fewer hours to enable women to pick up more hours and progress their career in reality for many families that is sadly never going to be a possibility.

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  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by gingermillie View Post
    So while in theory it would be good for dh's to work fewer hours to enable women to pick up more hours and progress their career in reality for many families that is sadly never going to be a possibility.
    Disagree with the word "never" in this sentence, on a theoretical level. While it may not going to be possible for you right now, don't give up on the ideal of equity at home AND in the workplace. Just like other industrial conditions of sick pay and equal pay or equal work. If we give up on the ideal for ourselves, or children will suffer the same inequalities.

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  6. #34
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    I've been wanting to start a similar thread but will just jump in this one!
    I don't know how mothers (or women of child-bearing age) ever manage to get jobs, when from an employers perspective - they'll want flexible hours, they'll have to take extra days off for sick children, they'll probably take maternity leave... It seems like if there's someone else available for the job without all that hassle attached, why would a mother ever be hired?

    For me, there's no way I'll be competitive to get a job in my field after I finish studying, because all of my "free time" is being spent looking after my child rather than doing extra teaching, or attending and organising conferences, or doing other extracurricular volunteer activities that we're all expected to do on top of our full time study.

    There's so much social change that needs to happen to get this sorted. Change in attitudes towards the role and expectations of mothers vs fathers, change in attitudes towards the workplace (8-5 is obsolete), an actual appreciation of the significance and work of raising children (because it's primarily women's work, therefore pretty unimportant, right? )
    It's absurd that family-friendly jobs aren't the norm when almost 90% of adults have children at some point!

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  8. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Happy Camper View Post
    Disagree with the word "never" in this sentence, on a theoretical level. While it may not going to be possible for you right now, don't give up on the ideal of equity at home AND in the workplace. Just like other industrial conditions of sick pay and equal pay or equal work. If we give up on the ideal for ourselves, or children will suffer the same inequalities.
    Yes in theory but DH is 41 it's not going to change in his industry in his career longevity. There are no ifs or buts in his work sadly. Hopefully for the next generation of fathers but for us it is a never proposition.

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  10. #36
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    Why do so many people say their DH is "unable " to take leave if their child is sick? The provisions for personal leave are the same for both father's and mothers! I have several friends who have used all their leave entitlement taking time to care for sick kids while their DH have oodles of leave but wont/cant/refuses to use it...then when mum gets sick it's unpaid. I just don't understand. ...

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  12. #37
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    Choosing to work part time has been the biggest limiter for career progression for me. Lots of exciting jobs I could apply for the next level up but they can only be done full time.

    Breastfeeding and having a husband who doesn't do childcare (farming, works 7 days, time off doesn't happen) has made management cranky at me.

    I got told the other day I had to participate in the program that involved 7 hours of travel for 3 hours work. When I said I wasn't working that much in one day they told me to stay overnight. Much as he pretended to accept that I can't do overnight because I bf I've now got a black mark.

  13. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaybaby View Post
    Why do so many people say their DH is "unable " to take leave if their child is sick? The provisions for personal leave are the same for both father's and mothers! I have several friends who have used all their leave entitlement taking time to care for sick kids while their DH have oodles of leave but wont/cant/refuses to use it...then when mum gets sick it's unpaid. I just don't understand. ...
    My husband is a farmer. His work is very time sensitive so he needs to get it done at a certain time. He also doesn't get paid leave. If he isn't there then there isn't a replacement.

  14. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by amyd View Post
    My husband is a farmer. His work is very time sensitive so he needs to get it done at a certain time. He also doesn't get paid leave. If he isn't there then there isn't a replacement.
    Yes, that is different...I'm talking about paid personal leave entitlement...which is there to be used in times of illness....

  15. #40
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    It also comes down to the crunch - are you willing to put your kid in CC FT from 9-12mths old?? Or are you doing to kiss your career goodbye?

    I cannot put my 6mth old into CC 2 days a week! So FT isn't going to happen. Fall out is career.

    School doesn't get easier BTW. I'm pretty busy with my eldest at school. She doesn't cope well going 5X a week at 6yo! Besides the amount of things you need to attend/be involved with is amazing.

    I've resigned myself to being a Sahp mostly for the next 2-5 years. I'm so happy I did two degrees and attended hundreds of procedures to be at home FT or work in low skilled work indefinitely. (Sarcasm).

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