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  1. #141
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    Quote Originally Posted by amiracle4me View Post
    Everyone's being saying how depressing this thread is so just wanted to say sorry for starting it!!

    I guess from a selfish point of view tho I've felt much less alone after reading all your comments. 😘
    Quote Originally Posted by ICanDream View Post
    Don't be sorry for starting it, one person may have one experience that can be the trigger for ideas for others. It's kind of nice to have it out in the open that sometimes life isn't so grand.
    I agree. I think it's been an eye opener for me on how important it is to go ahead with studying so I can have the career I want and the flexibility to be there for my children.

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  3. #142
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    Well after reading this thread to Dh- he feels super guilty and will negotiate next year to work PT so I can work FT and kick my teaching career off the ground.

    He has admitted it will be career suicide for him and could end up sending him/us to a posting we don't want. But as he is entitled to 2years unpaid parental leave post every birth, he will claim his.

    I'm kinda proud of him. But sad that he has to tank his career to help me out in mine.

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  5. #143
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    Well after reading this thread to Dh- he feels super guilty and will negotiate next year to work PT so I can work FT and kick my teaching career off the ground.

    He has admitted it will be career suicide for him and could end up sending him/us to a posting we don't want. But as he is entitled to 2years unpaid parental leave post every birth, he will claim his.

    I'm kinda proud of him. But sad that he has to tank his career to help me out in mine.
    What a legend!! As more fathers do this it will become normalised and shouldn't affect people's career as much, I hope. Won't be an overnight change but hopefully our daughters will have things easier when they have children of their own.

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  7. #144
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    I could have chosen to keep on working FT which was my only choice. I could have chosen to put my kids into care full time. I think I would have had regrets either way - one way I would have regretted not seeing my kids at all, the other real regret now is that I'm unemployed with absolutely no prospects on the horizon as my experience counts against me making me more expensive. I applied for over 20 jobs last year. Made it to one interview hoping they'd be willing to talk something less than 5 days/week as they had several employees doing so, but we met a road block there and there it rested.

    I have to wait 12 months at a time to apply for new jobs in the field I'm in whilst also trying to coordinate childcare on the "off-chance" something may happen.

    So...I guess my career was ruined when I had my children, but I wouldn't have worked full time as I would never have got to see them.

    I've further up-skilled, volunteered and casualed - it hasn't helped.

  8. #145
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    Well, the interview went really well!! The interviewer was completely fine with 4 days as she said it would be manageable for this role. People also frequently work from home so that's an option too. It helps that they are looking for quite a specific skill set which I fortunately have, so there haven't been many applicants that meet the requirements. So it sounds like I'll go through to second interview - fingers crossed!

    I am very lucky that DH has been able to negotiate a 4-day week with his employer which has enabled me to be available for 4 days as well. This means I can apply for full time and then try to negotiate it down to 4 days. Trying to get 3 days a week is virtually impossible and our kids only have 3 days of daycare during the week. So DH and I will both have one day a week at home (him Wednesday and me Friday). If all goes to plan, I think it will be a good balance. It's just so hard finding the right employer/opportunity.

    Hopefully this job happens. Feeling slightly more hopeful now!

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  10. #146
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    Good luck good luck good luck @Cue X 🍀🍀🍀

  11. #147
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    Default Is your career really ruined when you have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Ted View Post
    So...I guess my career was ruined when I had my children, but I wouldn't have worked full time as I would never have got to see them.
    .
    I get what you are saying ... However this is the equivalent of me saying something like

    "So...I guess my career wasn't ruined when I had my children - But I wouldn't have worked part time as in doing that I wouldn't have never had been able to provide them with a good quality of life."

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  13. #148
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    Ummmm. You can give your kids a great quality of life working PT.

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  15. #149
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    Having children hasn't ruined my career but I'm in a unique situation and I know that I am very VERY lucky, especially after reading this thread.

    I have a 2.5 and 4.5 yr old and I work full time. I have been doing so for the pat year. Before that I was working part time, 4 days a week, and when DS2 was under 7 months old I worked about 1-2 days a week but I brought him in with me some days.

    The big difference is that I work in my family business (as a professional accountant), my husband is a stay at home dad (he left his banking role and ran his own business from home for some years when i got pregnant with DS1), we also have a nanny that helps 2 days a week, and they both go to child care 3 days a week now (Ds2 only since the start of this year).

    I absolutely love my job, and I want to progress my career even further. I'm pregnant with #3 now and planning to go back to work almost full time from 6 months, but only because I have that support at home (husband, nanny, child care and next year, kindy). I'm crucial to the business so I can negotiate whatever hours I want but I actually want to be there as much as possible.

    As much as I adore my children, I don't want to give up my career for any period of time. It does make a big difference when you know that one parent is there with them at all times.

    In our firm, we have traditionally always hired women - not on purpose but they always ended up being the best candidates. We do have 2 male accountants working for us, but out of 13 employees in my firm, they are the only ones. Over the years, we have had a number of women go on maternity leave. Most of them never came back, or only came back for a short period, even though we did offer flexible hours. We currently have a senior accountant who has 2 boys similar ages to my son. She works 2 days a week in the office and the rest of the week from home. She gets a very average base salary for her 2 days and then commission based remuneration for all the work she does. It's worked out for her quite well so far - she is getting more $ than she did working 4 days a week last year.

    There are good employers out there but I agree, it's very hard if you're part time. If she was a low level employee, I'm not sure we would have agreed to this arrangement.

  16. #150
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    Ummmm. You can give your kids a great quality of life working PT.
    That was what VP was saying. 😉 of course that's possible, just like working full time doesn't mean you never see your kids. Both are false / untrue / unfair statements to make in a forum where there are both part time working mum's and full time working mums.

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