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  1. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnygirl79 View Post
    Another angle - I have found, surprisingly so, that since having kids I have lost all career motivation and care factor and find myself slipping into the (perhaps) stereotypical mother role that puts family before career etc. I never ever thought I would be like this in a million years. I was extremely ambitious before kids. My whole outlook has changed, I just don't enjoy working anymore, and lack any sort of ambition.
    I could have written this! I'm just not interested in a career anymore. I can always make money doing anything, I can never get that time back with my kids. My mum worked when I was young and missed all my school events and lots of milestones. That is absolutely not a slight against working mums, you all do a fabulous job so please don't feel you need to defend yourself. I'm only speaking for me. I feel so lucky and so happy to be home for an extended period. I went from very career minded to really not interested at all.

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  3. #122
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnygirl79 View Post
    Another angle - I have found, surprisingly so, that since having kids I have lost all career motivation and care factor and find myself slipping into the (perhaps) stereotypical mother role that puts family before career etc. I never ever thought I would be like this in a million years. I was extremely ambitious before kids. My whole outlook has changed, I just don't enjoy working anymore, and lack any sort of ambition.
    I am in this boat as well. My firm has a pretty clear career trajectory, and I really have no ambition to become a managing director. (Other than the money!) Most of the women MDs have husbands who stay home, and while DH is looking forward to his pat leave, I don't think he'd want to full time.

    I feel as thought my skills will be transferrable to other jobs, and I'm sure I'd find work. But I just have no desire to climb the ladder anymore.

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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    My mum worked when I was young and missed all my school events and lots of milestones. That is absolutely not a slight against working mums, you all do a fabulous job so please don't feel you need to defend yourself.l.
    Good point about missing milestones. My mum was a SAHM and I can't remember her being at any many major events at school, something that obviously bothered me at the time. So now that I am working I have made had chats with hubby - I want one off us to always be there for important school events. Christmas function, open day, important assembly etc. If I have to work late Monday to be at school Tuesday arvo for assembly then I will. I am in a job where I have some flexibility though in the sense that work has to be done, but it doesn't necessarily need to be done 9-5. I am also a managerial position so am happy to push back if I get any resistance (which I haven't thankfully).

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  6. #124
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    Default Is your career really ruined when you have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by sunnygirl79 View Post
    Another angle - I have found, surprisingly so, that since having kids I have lost all career motivation and care factor and find myself slipping into the (perhaps) stereotypical mother role that puts family before career etc. I never ever thought I would be like this in a million years. I was extremely ambitious before kids. My whole outlook has changed, I just don't enjoy working anymore, and lack any sort of ambition. After DS1 I just wanted a job where I could go in, do my thing, get out on time and not do any overtime or extra work activities. Lost any motivation to network etc.
    Now I have had a second child it's even worse. So for me, yes having kids has all but ruined my career.
    I do acknowledge that at some point I will not only have to return to (full time) work, but will probably want to. But it's so hard right now to see that. And I really wish I had a more family friendly, flexible career. Fitting in family life is not something your career counsellor discusses with you at high school - perhaps it should be!
    Def a good point. I was a bit similar although I wanted to at least stay at the mid level I was at part time after kids so I wouldn't be starting from scratch again after a long period off.

    I've no desire at all to work fulltime even though we'd have a lot more play money, I only want to be part time a few days a week for a long time. It works well for us, and luckily my partner is a really hard worker too and pretty ambitious but he'll be the first to admit he can only do the travel and late nights because I'm there to take care of the home front.

    I still do think you can work on your career part time, it just takes longer and while my children are babies/young, work doesn't get a huge amount of focus.
    Last edited by Clementine Grace; 18-04-2016 at 08:59.

  7. #125
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    From an European POV I found that the school system here doesn't encourage working outside of home parents.

    I feel that it was all set up when all women where staying at home.
    The hours are a bit ridiculous.

    Maybe it would be time to review the school system hours and take into consideration that families have changed...

    Just my 2cents

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  9. #126
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    From an European POV I found that the school system here doesn't encourage working outside of home parents.

    I feel that it was all set up when all women where staying at home.
    The hours are a bit ridiculous.

    Maybe it would be time to review the school system hours and take into consideration that families have changed...

    Just my 2cents
    What are the schools hours in Europe?

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    I like working full time and have no issues putting my son in childcare from 6 months old. (just thought I'd put that out there as I don't know many mums who feel the same way!) I have no stressful deadlines or long hours, I lost interest in climbing the ladder long before my son came along. So maybe a 'lack of ambition' isn't just to do with starting a family but wanting an easier work/life balance!
    Luckily my employer lets me work (graphic design) from home 2 days a week which helps a lot with cleaning/shopping/tradesmen/pick ups/sick days. My son loves daycare and he does much more than if he was at home with me but I am a pretty boring, antisocial mummy. We are lucky to be able to afford full time CC but it is going to be a horrendous financial stretch with another baby on the way. I feel for women on lower incomes and longer hours and more difficult employers and partners! Life could easily be unbearable, I know, I worked freelance for 5 years and I would be dead from stress by now if I'd carried on working for so many unscrupulous and uncaring employers whilst going through IVF and then pregnancy.

    This thread is pretty depressing but not surprising to me. This time around I am pressuring my partner to at least ASK if he can work from home one day a week to take the pressure off my shoulders with all the extras I take on. He is still reluctant to. *sigh*

    Good luck gals, times are changing, just too bloody slowly.

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  13. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyno1onboard View Post
    What are the schools hours in Europe?
    I checked with Google, so not sure how accurate, but it said 8-4am. That would mean as a teacher, my work hours would be appx 7-5 daily just for day to day stuff, as well as after hours appx 10-15+hrs a week for programming, planning, reports, assembly prep, etc. So not better working hours for teachers, lol. Especially if they are on lunch duty & don't get a break during those times. I would wonder if there would be a 2nd teacher in the class to stagger start/ finish times with? I would also wonder how effective those hours are for learning - my DD is stuffed after a school day, I know 8-4 would be too long for her. I think most schools these days have before & after school care, which i think works wel as opposed to a longer school day.

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    School finishes at 4.30pm

    They have longer holidays and a much longer lunch break (1.5hr).
    That's another of my issue with the school system here. Leaving our kids to eat out of a lunch box in such a small period is crazy.

    I've been taught to eat slowly and each meal is over 30 min, sitting down at a table, etc

    Anyway I digress!

    I agree that after school care is a great option, probably better than a longer school day. Although my understanding is that events and assembly etc where parents need to go are not during after school care?
    So if you don't want to miss out on that you need to take the arvo off?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcuseMyFrench View Post
    School finishes at 4.30pm

    They have longer holidays and a much longer lunch break (1.5hr).
    That's another of my issue with the school system here. Leaving our kids to eat out of a lunch box in such a small period is crazy.

    I've been taught to eat slowly and each meal is over 30 min, sitting down at a table, etc

    Anyway I digress!

    I agree that after school care is a great option, probably better than a longer school day. Although my understanding is that events and assembly etc where parents need to go are not during after school care?
    So if you don't want to miss out on that you need to take the arvo off?
    Oh yes, I'm not sure how accurate it was, but I saw a documentary once abou school lunchboxes (mayne jamie oliver?) & the french kids had a proper meal for lunch, 'real' food - not white sandwiches from lunchboxes that are so common here, or cheap processed crap like the U.S. The lunch looked so much better than what we have, & the kids were taught to appreciate & enjoy proper food! A longer lunch break would be nicer.


 

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