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  1. #1
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    Default Is your career really ruined when you have a baby?

    Hi,

    I recently posted another thread about being made redundant on mat leave so this is a continuation.

    I've got a 9.5mth old DD and was keen to go back to work when she was 12mths.. I have however no job now

    It's ruining my confidence and I've had one awful interview where I didn't get a role well beneath me due to being so out of touch and rusty.. I also think it came out too strongly that I'm needing a role that I can juggle caring for my daughter.. Prospective employers just don't seem to care 😥

    I'm suddenly realising I'm in a career rut or mummy trap.. There are no part time roles for skilled people at that mid level. I like what I do and don't want to retrain but have I really got to go back full time or not at all? Why do I have to choose between a career for me and being a mum?

    I intended to try and negotiate 4 days if I had got the role but it was a moot point..

    I'm now feeling totally lost and more lonely by the day. All my mothers group are going back to work and I want to also., there's just nothing there.. I feel like the longer I leave it the harder it will be., on the other hand I can't bear the thought of my baby in daycare 4-5 days..

    Anyone else feel like their trapped like this?

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    I felt like this. And now that I'm back at work I still feel trapped. I struggle with mummy guilt every single day. I hate that my baby is in daycare full time. But - I know that I am able to provide for him and I cherish all the minutes that I have with him. I don't take advantage of the time we get to spend together - i savour every moment. He amazes me every single day and I appreciate him so much more.

    Yes it sucks having to work full time and goodness it's tough. But at the end of the day you need to do the best thing for your family and hope that any potential employer will respect you for doing that.

    Chin up Hun - go out there with confidence and a positive mind frame. You got this 👊🏼

  3. #3
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    Yes, I was fly in fly out construction work and back pre kids and mining boom I could name my price for each project. Then came my son and I went back 4 days a week and in the downturn was the first laid off. I thought I would find a job really easy and nope. No chance. My career is now over. Just like that. I now have my own business with but I do believe things happen for a reason. One door closes and another opens. I get to stay home and work from home. Although I grieved my job for a good year I'm very happy with the current situation. Don't really have any advice but I hope you find something that suits you.

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    My advice is NEVER EVER mention you have kids. You're not on maternity leave. Don't mention kids.

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  6. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    My advice is NEVER EVER mention you have kids. You're not on maternity leave. Don't mention kids.
    If they're a reputable employer, it shouldn't matter. But even the best companies have some cowboy managers so I agree that if you can avoid it, don't mention kids.

  7. #6
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    Default Is your career really ruined when you have a baby?

    Quote Originally Posted by MrsKLM View Post
    I felt like this. And now that I'm back at work I still feel trapped. I struggle with mummy guilt every single day. I hate that my baby is in daycare full time. But - I know that I am able to provide for him and I cherish all the minutes that I have with him. I don't take advantage of the time we get to spend together - i savour every moment. He amazes me every single day and I appreciate him so much more.

    Yes it sucks having to work full time and goodness it's tough. But at the end of the day you need to do the best thing for your family and hope that any potential employer will respect you for doing that.

    Chin up Hun - go out there with confidence and a positive mind frame. You got this 👊🏼
    Thanks so much for your reply ( and for your support on the other thread too )..
    I took your advice and went for the full time role. It was a junior role, a great organisation only ten mins from home with a childcare centre next door. I know I stuffed up. I had one half of my brain still focusing on my baby and missed the mark on some competency questions and it had been 4 years since I'd interviewed. To not get a role with such a drop in salary and responsibly was a kick in the teeth. I guess they smelt my reluctance as they asked me at the end if I was comfortable with the 5 days. I know I've missed out to a younger girl who isn't a mum. Makes me feel so **** 😞

    The pang is that being back in that environment really excited me. I miss it. I wanted that job.

    I'm so glad it's all working out for you tho. You sound very strong. How old was your LO when he started 5 days in CC?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    My advice is NEVER EVER mention you have kids. You're not on maternity leave. Don't mention kids.
    That's really depressing 😥

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  10. #8
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    I'll be honest. I think after a certain point one needs to return to work full time/normal hours. After say (and I'm just plucking this) 2 years if someone is working 3-4 days per week it may very well hamper career progression.

    Going into a brand new potosi on part time is almost like giving a new job the kiss of death. You're stuck in that position, at that level, for eternity. Unless you go full time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by JR03 View Post
    If they're a reputable employer, it shouldn't matter. But even the best companies have some cowboy managers so I agree that if you can avoid it, don't mention kids.
    Bit hard if you're angling for part time/flexible hours though..

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post

    Going into a brand new potosi on part time is almost like giving a new job the kiss of death. You're stuck in that position, at that level, for eternity. Unless you go full time.
    Agreed. I would love to progress to the level I was at pre-kids. But as I'm only working three days a week it's impossible. All management roles are full time. It's so frustrating as I'm capable of so much more. But that's the sacrifice I'm making for my kids, as I'm not willing to put them in full time child care.

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