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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashar View Post
    The money spent isn't really the problem. He gets all his pay from his job into his own account & he pays all the bills & anything left over is his, I have know idea how much this is. After bills probably not much. The amount of a p0rn subscription isn't so much the amount of money it's just the thought of it being spent on that IYKWIM. I don't even know what one gets for subscribing? & why would you when there's enough free to watch anyway. So don't worry I don't control his money.
    Is his income the only income you have as a family? And you don't have visibility of that?

    If you are a family and it is the only income you have you need visibility. You also need visibility of the family expenses (rent, utilities, insurance, super etc).

  2. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Is his income the only income you have as a family? And you don't have visibility of that?

    If you are a family and it is the only income you have you need visibility. You also need visibility of the family expenses (rent, utilities, insurance, super etc).
    Yes his money is the only income. I don't get anything from Centrelink because of his earnings. He gives me the money from his gigs. I don't actually know the exact amount he gets paid but have access to bills to see what getting paid out. I haven't put anything into my super since I left work 31/2 years ago & not really sure what his is.

  3. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashar View Post
    Yes his money is the only income. I don't get anything from Centrelink because of his earnings. He gives me the money from his gigs. I don't actually know the exact amount he gets paid but have access to bills to see what getting paid out. I haven't put anything into my super since I left work 31/2 years ago & not really sure what his is.
    Is this because you don't want to know/don't care or because he has restricted your access to this information?

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    Ashar  (17-04-2016)

  5. #74
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    Say what!!??
    You have no income of your own (as you are raising his babies) , all your DHs income is his own after bills, and he kindly gives you pocket money , but you have no access or idea about what $$ are in the accounts. That is not a partnership.
    Sounds like there is much more to this than p*rn....

  6. #75
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    I have no income of my own even as the breadwinner. Everything is allocated and anyspare goes aside for the kids.

    Before we jump on the money issue id like to hear if he is teying to keep things in the dark or it has just hapoened that way or if there is some other kind of mutual agreement

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    Ashar  (17-04-2016)

  8. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moxy View Post
    Is this because you don't want to know/don't care or because he has restricted your access to this information?
    No he hasn't restricted my access to information I just don't ask. It just doesn't bother me. He's not tight or spending money on himself while I go without or anything like that.

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    DaveTTC  (17-04-2016),Moxy  (17-04-2016)

  10. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaybaby View Post
    Say what!!??
    You have no income of your own (as you are raising his babies) , all your DHs income is his own after bills, and he kindly gives you pocket money , but you have no access or idea about what $$ are in the accounts. That is not a partnership.
    Sounds like there is much more to this than p*rn....
    No money of my own since the changes to Centrelink last financial year. I have no access but I don't go without, he is generous. There are a lot of other issues besides p*rn.

  11. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashar View Post
    No money of my own since the changes to Centrelink last financial year. I have no access but I don't go without, he is generous. There are a lot of other issues besides p*rn.
    Thats my point - as a SAHM, you should have fair and EQUAL access to FAMILY money (that he currently earns), and you should have a fair say in how/when and where family money is spent. It astounds me that you have no idea what your families financial position is!? I just find it really odd. I'd start asking!
    What if something goes pear-shaped and (for example) he is laid up in hospital, or stuck overseas, or loses his wallet or a myriad of other reasons...and you get stuck with no money or even access or idea as to how to access family money.
    Or even worse, if he decides to walk out and you are left with nothing and no access to anything, and no idea what financial position your FAMILY is even in??

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  13. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaybaby View Post
    Thats my point - as a SAHM, you should have fair and EQUAL access to FAMILY money (that he currently earns), and you should have a fair say in how/when and where family money is spent. It astounds me that you have no idea what your families financial position is!? I just find it really odd. I'd start asking!
    What if something goes pear-shaped and (for example) he is laid up in hospital, or stuck overseas, or loses his wallet or a myriad of other reasons...and you get stuck with no money or even access or idea as to how to access family money.
    Or even worse, if he decides to walk out and you are left with nothing and no access to anything, and no idea what financial position your FAMILY is even in??
    Sorry, yes I did say I had no money of my own but I meant no income of my own. I have enough money of my own if/when I need it for an emergency. As for family finances we have a large mortgage and bills that come along with that just like a lot of other couples I imagine. If he walks/ we separate we would sell & I would start again.

  14. #80
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    Ashar, you have said it a number of times already in this thread and I'm sure you tell yourself this on a regular basis, but you have a lot of issues in your relationship and also issues of your own that go way beyond your husband watching p0rn.

    What I would do in your situation is seek some counselling ASAP. For yourself and also couples counselling. Honestly, with the things you have Written about what your "dear" husband has said, and his seemingly controlling position in the family, I would probably just up and leave if it was me, but with 2 little ones, no income and low self esteem, that's a lot easier said than done. Counselling first, and then try to figure out if it's even worth staying in this relationship. It's obviously impossible for complete strangers to judge your situation, but based solely on what you have a written, he really doesn't deserve you, regardless of how much money he makes or how many fans he has.

  15. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to witherwings For This Useful Post:

    Ashar  (17-04-2016),babyla  (17-04-2016),geisha88  (17-04-2016),VicPark  (17-04-2016)


 

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