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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveLivesHere View Post
    Anyhow the fact he is spending the op families money on something that is causing her pain, is enough reason to ask him to stop.
    .
    Was the $ earmarked for something? If not then it's hardly an accurate description to label it family money (rather emotive actually). If someone busts a gut working 2 jobs, one of which is fifo IMO they deserve a bit if spending money for themself.

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    Side tracked ..... does that mean I can spend some money on myself

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Was the $ earmarked for something? If not then it's hardly an accurate description to label it family money (rather emotive actually). If someone busts a gut working 2 jobs, one of which is fifo IMO they deserve a bit if spending money for themself.
    I absolutely agree that the OP's dh deserves some of his own money to spend on himself.

    However, choosing to spend that money on porn, to the exclusion of a physically intimate relationship with his wife...that's the part I find somewhat selfish and problematic.

    It just seems that he is choosing to spend his play money on something that actually harms his relationship with his wife.
    Last edited by Albert01; 16-04-2016 at 22:18.

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  5. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Was the $ earmarked for something? If not then it's hardly an accurate description to label it family money (rather emotive actually). If someone busts a gut working 2 jobs, one of which is fifo IMO they deserve a bit if spending money for themself.
    Come on, surely there's a line to be crossed somewhere. If OP is saying it's family money then that would surely be based on the situation in her relationship. It's not emotive.

    I agree with you that people deserve spending money. That doesn't mean that what they choose to spend it on will never cause conflict.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Was the $ earmarked for something? If not then it's hardly an accurate description to label it family money (rather emotive actually). If someone busts a gut working 2 jobs, one of which is fifo IMO they deserve a bit if spending money for themself.
    Having twins, raising them on your own, having a husband that isn't present (emotionally, physically, sexually), that doesn't get it, that's leading a whole different life to yours, that isn't on your team... I'd equate that to more than just busting a gut. What does that deserve?

    OP, you have every right to your emotions, it seems like a very difficult situation to be in. I hope you can find the love and support you deserve.

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  9. #66
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    My partner watches porn and reads pornographic comic books. I personally don't mind. He watches it and may be aroused, but he isn't emotionally attached to the actresses like he is to me. I read the comics sometimes too and the storyline is actually pretty good, and I've always told him I don't mind if he looks at other women whether it's in person or online etc as long as he doesn't think about sleeping with them because if that happens then there's serious problems in our relationship.

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    Hang on your p said he doesn't mind what you do with other people as long as he doesn't find out??? That is a screaming red flag to me I'm sorry but it's almost like he's trying to make it okay for him to cheat. With that comment, the messages and photos with other women and lack of sex I'd be very concerned. Sorry I don't make you feel better but the porn is the last thing id be worried about
    Hugs to you xx

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    The money spent isn't really the problem. He gets all his pay from his job into his own account & he pays all the bills & anything left over is his, I have know idea how much this is. After bills probably not much. The amount of a p0rn subscription isn't so much the amount of money it's just the thought of it being spent on that IYKWIM. I don't even know what one gets for subscribing? & why would you when there's enough free to watch anyway. So don't worry I don't control his money.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora21 View Post
    Hang on your p said he doesn't mind what you do with other people as long as he doesn't find out??? That is a screaming red flag to me I'm sorry but it's almost like he's trying to make it okay for him to cheat. With that comment, the messages and photos with other women and lack of sex I'd be very concerned. Sorry I don't make you feel better but the porn is the last thing id be worried about
    Hugs to you xx
    Yes these are the sort of things that have turned me into a suspicious snoop.

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    Quote Originally Posted by harvs View Post
    Come on, surely there's a line to be crossed somewhere. If OP is saying it's family money then that would surely be based on the situation in her relationship. It's not emotive.

    I agree with you that people deserve spending money. That doesn't mean that what they choose to spend it on will never cause conflict.
    100% agree.

    Working FIFO doesn't give him the right to spend THEIR money on porn. Would you apply the same logic to a sex worker?? It's legal, and I'm sure a much better release for this "poor" man.

    Gimme a break.

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