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  1. #31
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    I think the lorn thing has been covered. I would not know what hardcore illegal stuff is. Conrent woth somethjng that is realistic. Sometimes we watch it together and my dp knows I sometimes watch it alone.

    Being called babe, hun, darl or the like is not on its own anything to be worried about. Inhabe a few women Ichat with on messenger that might use such. I am either incredibly naive or correct in assuming they say that to everyone and it means nothing. Im more embarrassed about whatbothers might think if they saw it lol. Rest of content has nothing to raise an eyebrow just the signing off. My brothers widow calls me darl still and she has a new bf since my brothers passing.

    Sex droppig off after 15 years is quite normal.

    Him meeting someone behind the scenes so to speak. That would be an issue particularly if he was teying to keep it a secret. That tied in with a woman calling him darl etc would make me more suspicious.

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    Ashar  (16-04-2016)

  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I would have more of a problem with your DH not being around at home much. Moreso than watching porn. Have you spoken with him about his being absent so much? Maybe if you approach him from
    An angle of "I miss you. Your kids need you" you will have more success than being cranky at him for watching porn that you found on his phone.
    This work roster is actually the best he has had 1 week on/ 1 off. When I was pregnant & after I had the twins he was away 6 weeks then home for 2. It almost killed me. So it's not so much him being away. Although he only started doing the gigs probably 18 months ago.

  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaveTTC View Post
    I think the lorn thing has been covered. I would not know what hardcore illegal stuff is. Conrent woth somethjng that is realistic. Sometimes we watch it together and my dp knows I sometimes watch it alone.

    Being called babe, hun, darl or the like is not on its own anything to be worried about. Inhabe a few women Ichat with on messenger that might use such. I am either incredibly naive or correct in assuming they say that to everyone and it means nothing. Im more embarrassed about whatbothers might think if they saw it lol. Rest of content has nothing to raise an eyebrow just the signing off. My brothers widow calls me darl still and she has a new bf since my brothers passing.

    Sex droppig off after 15 years is quite normal.

    Him meeting someone behind the scenes so to speak. That would be an issue particularly if he was teying to keep it a secret. That tied in with a woman calling him darl etc would make me more suspicious.
    I don't have a problem with the babe, Hun stuff in general. It's just she'd only meet him the night before then the next day she's sending messages, and this wasn't the only message. S3x dropping off can be normal yes, but no interest?

  5. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashar View Post
    I don't have a problem with the babe, Hun stuff in general. It's just she'd only meet him the night before then the next day she's sending messages, and this wasn't the only message. S3x dropping off can be normal yes, but no interest?
    How did she get his details, why is he handing his details either messenger or phone number to women? You need to address this with him and the no sex thing. I would confront him flat out, but I'm like that I can't tippy toe around stuff. I would sit him down lay it on the table and make him talk. As for the p.orn thing our deal is that we come before p.orn. We have a deal that we never say no to each other (unless sick obviously). Both of us watch p.orn and we are fine with it as long as it does not affect our s.ex lives.

  6. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashar View Post
    I don't have a problem with the babe, Hun stuff in general. It's just she'd only meet him the night before then the next day she's sending messages, and this wasn't the only message. S3x dropping off can be normal yes, but no interest?
    Interest can be effected by how he perceives your interest in him. Sometimes if we men (from our point of view) keep trying and there is no reciprocal response we give up. Not knowing your situation it is hard for me to comment with any accuracy

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  8. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janesmum123 View Post
    How did she get his details, why is he handing his details either messenger or phone number to women? You need to address this with him and the no sex thing. I would confront him flat out, but I'm like that I can't tippy toe around stuff. I would sit him down lay it on the table and make him talk. As for the p.orn thing our deal is that we come before p.orn. We have a deal that we never say no to each other (unless sick obviously). Both of us watch p.orn and we are fine with it as long as it does not affect our s.ex lives.
    People have his details because his name is what he plays his gigs under. They send him friends requests & he accepts. He has a lot of beautiful women on his face.book page, & I don't think you need to be friends for messenger.

  9. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaveTTC View Post
    Interest can be effected by how he perceives your interest in him. Sometimes if we men (from our point of view) keep trying and there is no reciprocal response we give up. Not knowing your situation it is hard for me to comment with any accuracy
    He can't use that as an excuse, I always say yes.

  10. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashar View Post
    He can't use that as an excuse, I always say yes.
    But do you initiate it? It's not just about saying yes, if you never initiate sex that is also a problem as the other person can feel unwanted.

  11. #39
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    I could care less what others do and if they are fine with their partners watching it, each to their own blah blah. But I feel a bit sorry for the OP, many of the posts are almost accusatory. She has clearly said she isn't ok with this and checked his phone bc of the message. I don't check DH's phone, or computer or anything at all for that matter. But in the context of her story, that message probably would have raised my eyebrows tbh.

    He is watching it behind her back. He is neglecting her physically and emotionally and his behaviour may well be suspect. Not saying he is cheating but I understand why OP may be worried about it. Telling her she is at fault here is unfair imo

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  13. #40
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    I haven't read all responses.
    My partner does, we do together sometimes, doesn't generally bother me. In reality, he has every right to his own sexuality. I can understand that he would feel you violated his trust by going through his phone.

    That said, if it bothers you, then that's perfectly reasonable too. Perhaps you ought to si down when you're both calm, and discuss how you feel and why.

    Hopefully you can find a solution that works for you both.

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