P.orn isn't acceptable in my relationship. It's a huge deal breaker for me. I respect that other couples are ok with it; I personally am not. I would be really upset, op, especially if I were sitting at home looking after the kids whilr he was out here & there, & then chose to interact with p.orn instead of with me. I have no advice, but just wanted to say - it's ok to not be ok with it.
It sounds like you are both really disconnected and three year old twins will do that to a couple! Add in the fifo and the messages and the p.orn subscriptions?
My advice (I know it's unsolicited but I'll give it anyway!) would be to write it all down - no accusatory language ie I feel hurt and devalued when other women message you - and see how you go.
Relationships Australia are a good resource too.
This thread isn't about how the OP found out. She's acknowledged it wasn't great but what's done is done.
OP in all the circumstances I'd be pretty upset. If you had a very happy intimate relationship then I'd be saying don't stress, but given what you've said about the lack of S.ex I'd be very unhappy.
Last edited by SoThisIsLove; 16-04-2016 at 00:01.
However, pornography can also be a cause of the problem as well. There's been quite a bit of research which finds that pornography use can interfere with a person's interest/ability to be physically intimate with their partner.
OP, my partner watches porn. He never does it when I am around but, you know, smart phones make it very accessible.
I am idealogically opposed to pornography on the grounds that women, invariably, occupy a very disempowered and objectified space in its landscape. I don't (generally) think I'm prudish about it.
Actually, there was a point to my post but it seems to have disappeared. I'll come back when I remember what it was...oh dear.
My turning point was reading a piece by Robert Jensen. Is it harmful or harmless? Is it a sliding scale? I don't know.
This was it for anyone interested:
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