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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by amyd View Post
    If my husband cooked me a meal (😂😂😂😂😂😂) I would try it and if I truly didn't like it tell him nicely. If I wasn't hungry I wouldn't expect him to cook me something an hour later. I would eat the previous meal. If I wasn't respectful enough to do those things I would go to be hungry.
    This is my kids. They refuse to eat dinner and then ask for a smorgasbord of sandwiches and fruit to be made for them an hour later because they are starving right now!

    Drives us insane! Wish they had some respect for the effort we go to to cook a healthy dinner that ends up being fed to the dog or chucked in the bin.

  2. #52
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    Dr Phil is a retired psychologist (with a PhD), who let go of his license to pratice Psychology in 2006. He was bought against the board in the late 80's for hiring an ex patient, but the case was closed with no adverse findings against him.

    Who knows if he's a good psychologist...he's pretty good at making money on TV...
    I personally think some of the stuff he does on TV (unrelatated to parenting) is unethical...but for the most part harmless and vaguely entertaining to watch while enjoying a quiet weekday sanga...

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaybaby View Post
    Dr Phil is a retired psychologist (with a PhD), who let go of his license to pratice Psychology in 2006. He was bought against the board in the late 80's for hiring an ex patient, but the case was closed with no adverse findings against him.

    Who knows if he's a good psychologist...he's pretty good at making money on TV...
    I personally think some of the stuff he does on TV (unrelatated to parenting) is unethical...but for the most part harmless and vaguely entertaining to watch while enjoying a quiet weekday sanga...
    Care to comment on the article or haven't you read it?

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Care to comment on the article or haven't you read it?
    Yeah I read it...it's a broad, basic and vague guideline. Generic lists such as these have their place, but everyone knows there is a lot of "grey" with childrearing.. with regards to the "spanking" (such an American term!)..the statement doesn't suprise me...Phil is from the South after all! My kids have had their share of smacks on the bum...

    I just gave the info about Phil for some clarification as to his credentials...I like things to be factual..

    I actually don't mind Phil, breastfed my bubs to him at lunch or watched while having my lunch cuppa. Although I have recently seen a few shows I don't agree with (ie a clearly Mentally Ill women -paranoid, delusional etc - on stage...and in my book that's not ok. But on the whole he's alright...

  5. #55
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    I do yell. I hate it. I'm trying to work on that and let certain things go.

    I don't have a car but if I did (when I did) I would leave them in there when paying for petrol or going to the atm. I felt it was more safer than having them potentially run out onto the road. Luckily my dp often went to fill the car up anyway.

    I don't do time-outs and I definentally don't send my kids to bed hungry. I think it's cruel. I do time-ins instead as well as redirect their behaviour and also look at myself and the environment... Eg kids might be " playing up" because they're over excited or perhaps they are feeling out of sorts or maybe want my attention..

    I don't smack.

    I do get angry and frustrated and I yell.

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaybaby View Post
    Yeah I read it...it's a broad, basic and vague guideline. Generic lists such as these have their place, but everyone knows there is a lot of "grey" with childrearing.. with regards to the "spanking" (such an American term!)..the statement doesn't suprise me...Phil is from the South after all! My kids have had their share of smacks on the bum...


    .
    I think the point of the article has been missed by many. Dr Phil isn't saying these are the lines (a bruise/mark on a child) where something is abusive and everything before that line is ok. The article is saying it's hard to get agreeance on these things as there are a whole range of different parenting styles. Regardless of where you stand if you reach this line (such as leaving a mark on your child) then there is no room for discussion or debate - that's abuse.

    Hope that makes sense

  7. #57
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    I find this list bordering on offensive. In the sense that it is extremely patronising. Unless you're a monster of a parent, you're not going to do these things..

    "Leaving a Child in a Car
    Parents should never leave children in a car unattended especially if they're at an age where they can get out of their car seat or do something to hurt themselves."

    There's leaving your child in the car for 1 minute while you pay for petrol or pick up a pizza, and then there's leaving your child in a car for an hour while you do the weekly shopping. I think any sensible parent will know when it's wrong to do so. Saying "never" is quite extreme. In NSW it isn't against the law to leave a child in a car unattended, under certain conditions.


    "Leaving a Child Home Alone
    The laws differ from state to state, but the following must be considered:

    - Age of the child
    - Maturity level
    - Support from neighbors and extended family
    - Safety of neighborhood
    - Is the child able to talk on the phone and call 911"

    Again, you're not going to leave your 2 year old at home alone, but a 15 year old, yes. Common sense.

    "Spanking
    Spanking is a cause for concern when it leaves a visible mark on the child. If there are marks or bruises left on the child, it should be reported."

    In other words, if your kid has to tell their teachers that they fell down the stairs or walked into a door frame, you're probably smacking them too hard 😐 I don't think a smack on the bum makes you an abusive parent. Though, for the record we never hit our children, ever. But that's just a decision we made.


    "Time-Outs
    The recommendation for time-out is one minute per year of age. Time-outs cross the line into neglect when they are excessive, lead to missed meals or prevent the child from using the rest room."

    Starving your child and not letting them use the toilet is abusive? Get out of town!


    "Sending a Child to His/Her Room without Dinner
    This crosses into neglect if your child is not being fed enough to sustain his/her health. However, it's not in the child's best interest to be sent to his/her room without dinner."

    My kids hardly eat anything for dinner and they are very healthy children. Their main meal of the day is breakfast and that's based on their wants, not mine. If they occasionally miss dinner because we are out and they refuse to eat what's available, it doesn't seem to bother them. I don't think this is abusive at all.


    "Yelling
    What you say is important. Don't say things to your child that are demeaning, this includes calling your child names."

    Yelling - guilty! Abusive parent right here. Don't put your kids down or call them names.. Isn't this obvious? Unless you're an *******, anyone would know this is horrible to do to your child or anyone!

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