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  1. #211
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    @winsor I think asking for things like that is tricky and would make things probably very difficult to find the right person. I think you have to be practical about the most important aspects of a donor, things like medical history including mental health, age, pregnancy and ttc history etc and also whether their mindset is inline with yours in terms of whether you want them to have any involvement in the child's life. Then theres the practical stuff like their location etc. Unless there was a medical reason why the person had to be the same then I would say its not important. But I don't know anything about that stuff.

    Just my opinion tho..

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  3. #212
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    thanks @tuxcat. yes we're considering the other things mentioned. I guess I was also thinking of the child's future high school biology class exercise where they learn the blood type logic/mixing table in genetics class. we're planning on telling them earlyish but I don't know yet if they'd feel like telling their friends. and if they do the exercise in class & friends see that Mum & Dad are O+ and they're say A+ then the other kids might start teasing them or something. maybe I'm overthinking it all. I just remember the kids at my high school. hopefully it'll be more normalised by then

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  5. #213
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    Quote Originally Posted by faithandhopellove View Post
    I need to get up the courage to talk to the FN about our frosties grade. I am thinking they are going to be Cr#p and part of me doesn't want to know. But that's for next year. Second cot will have to wait a little longer to be filled. Big Bubba is yet to arrive. The OB is happy with this Bubba's progress so far. Little Bubba is now taking up only 10% of the space.

    Luv, the fact they could be frozen means that they're of a higher than average quality to begin with!!!

    I honestly believe that embryo Grades are not the be all or end all when it comes to getting a BFFP. Sure, the Embryologists have to have a benchmark they use when assessing the embryo's and deciding which one's should be transferred and/or frozen and that's where it ends for me.

    Many, many BFFP's...in fact I'm going to hazard a guess that most of them, are going to come from embryo's that are Graded "Average" (including my DD) as not all women...young or older, can produce top draw embryo's..a lot can't.

    Yes...don't be worried about your frosties until you're thinking about Project Sibling next year ok?? I'm so happy to hear that Big Bubba is progressing like he/she should. These moments must be terribly bittersweet for you because of Little Bubba

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  7. #214
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    @Blossom74 I think I agree, there's possibly just something about my first ED and I that just didn't jell, but I guess having a go with a new fresh egg donor with the same quality embryos is the only way I'll ever be able to measure that.
    I do very much like the idea of trying these 3 embryos from a new ED. I love the idea of full siblings in the same town.
    My embryo donor has super kindly also offered me her remaining vial of sperm in CT. So if I do a fresh cycle I could create half siblings, yay! The SD is also the same colouring as my son & I, bonus.
    I forgot to mention, I was generously offered donor embryos a month ago but their gradings were so poor they shouldn't have been frozen. The wonderful embryo donor, her FS and the CFC embryologist agreed. There were 3 x 1CC (shouldn't have been frozen) and 1 x 2AB. They're not at CFC and it was such a waste to let them go.
    Re a fresh cycle, I've just found out my 1st preference ED has low AMH and my 2nd preference reacted badly to her first cycle. Both have been removed from the ED program & didn't donate. This means the unproven 18 y/o twin & one of the BHers ED are still in the running!
    Last edited by Tahli; 16-04-2016 at 12:57.

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  9. #215
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    @winsor I think there's going to be a stack of things like that that will be different for a donor conceived child. Its probably worth writing it all down and speaking to a counsellor about it. We've been talking a bit about the things we need to consider in regards to all this too, I just need to get through this last cycle first but its good you're thinking about these little things. The world has changed a lot since we were at high school and there are loads of different kinds of families even now so I'd say by the time they're in high school it will be even more diverse. If you're open with the child from the beginning then I think it normalises it all, of course not everyone has to know but I guess the more secretive this stuff stays the trickier things are.

    I'd just start making list of your concerns/questions and then when it comes time to see the counsellor you can get their perspective on things. Might be worthwhile doing some reading online into this kind of stuff too, Im sure theres loads of info out there.

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  11. #216
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    @BlondeinBrisvegas It's not that I don't want to do a full fresh cycle. I'm really happy to do one. It's just that I love the idea of full siblings near by. Even half siblings would be amazing. It's interesting what's become more important the second time round.
    @ECM1981 When you begged Dr W to transfer your 3 embryos did he mention anything about their policy on transferring 3?
    @Charlie74 Huge hugs hun. It was always going to be challenging wasn't it. A double edged sword. I really feel for you. Big love.
    @faithandhopellove I can't wait too hear how @Vixjc gets on with triple grade A transfer.
    Last edited by Tahli; 16-04-2016 at 12:39.

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  13. #217
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    Quote Originally Posted by tuxcat View Post
    I'd just start making list of your concerns/questions and then when it comes time to see the counsellor you can get their perspective on things. Might be worthwhile doing some reading online into this kind of stuff too, Im sure theres loads of info out there.
    thanks, yes making a list. when I spoke to the rpa counsellor I mentioned some of these things and she said it was good to be reflecting on possible future issues now too. thanks for your thoughts xx

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  15. #218
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    @Tahli no he didnt really. He did say not to blame him if they all took and i ended up with triplets. I think because the 3rd little one that i begged him to transfer didnt look that good to him he didnt have a problem transfering it. He probably knew it would most likely not take. Are all you 3 frozen together?

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  17. #219
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    @ECM1981 Ta, so he didn't recite some CFC policy or SA law about only transferring 2. I thought he'd be ok with it as long as you were discrete. Yep, all 3 are frozen together so I think it will be a case of just thawing them and transferring regardless of what they look like. In the 2 hours they usually allocate for thawing they're not going to morph into hatching blasts so I think it'll be an easy decision. A Zen decision!!

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  19. #220
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tahli View Post
    @BlondeinBrisvegas It's not that I don't want to do a full fresh cycle. I'm really happy to do one. It's just that I love the idea of full siblings near by. Even half siblings would be amazing. It's interesting what's become more important the second time round.
    @ECM1981 When you begged Dr W to transfer your 3 embryos did he mention anything about their policy on transferring 3?
    @Charlie74 Huge hugs hun. It was always going to be challenging wasn't it. A double edged sword. I really feel for you. Big love.
    @faithandhopellove I can't wait too hear how @Vixjc gets on with triple grade A transfer.
    Then have a crack with all 3 donor embies & buy yourself some more time to find another ED/SD if needs be😊

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