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  1. #161
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    Quote Originally Posted by Summer View Post
    Goodness @Tahli it's all systems go! What an amazing opportunity & I just bet you're going to get your take home bub!

    Hmmmm. I'm not in a great place. All week has been about DSS & DH & his ex. Affidavits, court documents, lots of nastiness, & a beautiful little boy crying his eyes out in my arms this evening...

    And I'm finding that today's emotion is jealousy. I just want a baby so desperately that I'm jealous of everyone - DHs ex, people who are cycling, people doing DE, anyone with a child - you name it I'm jealous of them :-(. I just feel like I'm doing nothing & I'm so torn because I know I'm likely too old to have a pregnancy of my own, but I don't know whether I should be doing some investigations like the hysteroscopy that I cancelled or a lap to look for silent endo etc - I'm so phobic of hospitals that I just won't do it & I get so upset that I could have something wrong but I'll never know.

    I don't know what to do to be honest. I just can't stop thinking about my five little babies that didn't make it & I just want to be pregnant again. I spent nearly nine months pregnant over 18 months & have no baby to show for it. Sorry for the downer :-(

    Luv, I'm not surprised you feel that way and I reckon almost all of us Lovelies have felt the jealousy ourselves at some stage on this Godforsaken journey!!

    I can tell you now that I used to get Cycle Envy, Egg Envy...used to wish I was PCO/S, Embryo Envy, Transfer Envy, Stick Envy/BFFP Envy...because I felt so envious that others were out there actively trying while I had to bide my time saving more money and freaking out about how the delay would mean even more of a decline in my egg quality etc, etc.

    It frucking sux but totally normal and understandable to feel that way I think yours is even more compounded by all the custody issues with that C R U N T!!!

    ETA- Bub Hub..... You will not stop me spewing forth my expletive laden post!!! LOFL!!!
    Last edited by BlondeinBrisvegas; 15-04-2016 at 20:29.

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  3. #162
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tahli View Post
    Gorgeous @Summer. What can we do to help you? What can we help you work through? How can we help you to start your OE cycle ASAP or get your DE cycle underway. If hospitals are such a fear, and possibly causing a delay, then just crack on with a DE cycle Hun. Break out your credit card and get reserving a donor and get her initial testing starting. Go get YOUR baby. Again, it is YOUR time.
    Thank you lovely @Tahli you are such a gem! I just have to get on with something, I keep hoping a natural cycle will work because that's the only thing that ever has, but it's just not happening. I might bite the bullet & see my FS next week & just start a stim cycle. If I get to EPU then maybe I can just ask for lots of extra drugs... & do a freeze all if we did happen to get an embie. Then I could do the investigations knowing I had an embie waiting, that might get me through... You are all such a support, I don't know where I'd be without you xxxxx

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  5. #163
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    Thanks yes he gave me the option he always lets me choose. I am hopeless I wish he wouldn't. I will have enough frozen to just do it I think and I have heard she is good, well great, thanks again you are a god send.
    Quote Originally Posted by BlondeinBrisvegas View Post
    Yep..why not Luv?? It's Wazza's plan and if you trust that she'll put the emby's back in where they should be...and why wouldn't she?? Does she do unguided transfers like Wazza??? then do it I reckon!!

    If Wazza trusts her to do it and doesn't want to do it personally himself for whatever reason, then go right ahead Luv I say!!!

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  7. #164
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    I'm having my third white so cheers lovely. Thank you and if you want to PM me I am happy to give you my facey so we can be friends on there IRL. I must send blossom my facey as well. I don't talk about IVF on there my account is very new I set it up last month I only have a few friends on there and one is my dad bah ha.
    Quote Originally Posted by Summer View Post
    You beautiful ladies make me cry!! In a good way, the love & support here is just amazing.
    @Maxwellsmum yes I'll be your wine buddy for the month - I'm about to go crack a red right now :-) I think your plan is the go - I would be impatient too & if your lining is good & Wazza did your plan then go for it!! Not long now hon & you will be well & truly up the duff!
    @infinity888 you are such a sweetheart & I thank you for words that mean so much. I don't have anyone to be a strength for me through this. My mum & I aren't close, DH doesn't want to know, my close friends are childless & don't want kids so don't get it & I have two friends who are quite new & both going through this but I'm too scared to deepen the friendships just in case they get pregnant but I don't as I would struggle with that... I prob just need to toughen up & just do what it takes but I feel silly looking into things like endo when any FS is just going to say I'm too old anyway... But then maybe I need to find out before I do DE anyway? I'll be ok, I'm just tired & emotionally exhausted after this week.

    Love you guys xxx

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  9. #165
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlondeinBrisvegas View Post
    Luv, I'm not surprised you feel that way and I reckon almost all of us Lovelies have felt the jealousy ourselves at some stage on this Godforsaken journey!!

    I can tell you now that I used to get Cycle Envy, Egg Envy...used to wish I was PCO/S, Embryo Envy, Transfer Envy, Stick Envy/BFFP Envy...because I felt so envious that others were out there actively trying while I had to bide my time saving more money and freaking out about how the delay would mean even more of a decline in my egg quality etc, etc.

    It frucking sux but totally normal and understandable to feel that way I think yours is even more compounded by all the custody issues with that *****!!!
    Thanks darling BIB, the waiting is the hard part, & I think the jealousy has really come up this week over the ex sharing with DH what I want to share with him so badly...

    How are you hon? All settled down since your ex-DH moved out? Can you breathe again now? Hope you & DD are all good. Can I come for a visit soon? Actually, wanna come to court & heckle the ex? Lol :-)

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  11. #166
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tahli View Post
    What @BlondeinBrisvegas?? I didn't even know @Vixjc had gone back over? Did she do a fresh new cycle? What quality were the 3 she transferred? Questions, questions. This is what happens when 'secret' threads get closed down!!
    I've been keeping it on the down low in case it didn't work again 😉 you just outed me BIB 😀😀😀

    Fresh cycle, transferred 3 X top notch A grade embies, eggs from a 22 yr old 😂 Yes I'm nuts (and quietly $h!tt!ng bricks that all three will take, but the chances of that are pretty low). Same ED as my DS - she makes great bubbas!

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  13. #167
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    @winsor Chocolate mousse pizza...why had I never thought of that combo before?!!

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  15. #168
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    best of luck @Vixjc (but not 3 times luck)

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  17. #169
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    Ditto @Maxwellsmum get those embryos in there! If you have confidence in Charlotte to do a competent transfer then go for it!! I think you'll have enough embryos to play with so don't over think it too much.
    Do you have your lining treatment plan yet?
    Last edited by Tahli; 15-04-2016 at 20:42.

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  19. #170
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    I had churros and choc sauce tonight yum went to our local food truck park for dinner around the corner from home. Its my bday after all so deserved it!!!

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