Not much new to share after only the second day of trialling DS’ diet and implementing a firmer discipline on him. I know it takes time see the difference. We also added more long physical/ outdoor activities yesterday to tire him out (makes him calm down a little bit with no extra energy to spare). At dinner time, he was able to eat his dinner without a fuss, and asked for an apple too and helped us clear up the table and brought his plates over to the kitchen after he finished without us asking. He said he wanted a reward sticker after he did that (he knows his incentives huh!).
After all that freaking out of the possibility of ADD, etc, I’ve thought hard last night thinking the key to control him might be by re-evaluating our discipline method (a lot of reminders and warnings) and re-introducing positive behavior to him. But having said that, I don’t mean I don’t want him to get checked up by experts, after going this far talking to a paed and a future psychologist appointment and school counselor, it’s still worth to know what the outcomes are.
I went back thinking on the behaviour his teachers listed at school. Although some of his behavior are common ‘cheeky’ behavior amongst 5 year olds, but the thing that prompted the school to get me see an expert is because 1) DS has been overly doing it every SINGLE day, 2) two occasions that he got upset, he blurted out a violent word (as you may have read from my thread he said he’d bring a gun to school). Therefore I felt that school might have concluded he needed to see a specialist because he’d been acting like that in the past 10-12 weeks of first term of school
This is his behavioural list from school (all of this is what his teachers have reminded him but he’s unable to fix or change):
- Singing by himself and making silly noise (often during times that require quiet time such as story time, etc).
- Often making jokes (there was also one time his teacher spoke seriously with him but his reaction was as if he wanted to laugh and started talking as if it was a joke)
- Getting up from his desk with unfinished school work and started talking to his friends or wonders around.
- Too chatty
- When walking in one line (or just lining up), he could be seen going out of the line (he didn’t forget his line or got lost, but whilst others were so civilized he was the one who was unable to concentrate).
- Acting silly
- When asked to finish his colouring, etc he often said I’ve run out of time, in fact he had not run out of time and the whole class was still doing it… not until the teacher sat down with him and did a one-on-one supervision he’d be able to continue. I asked DS just yesterday why some of his drawing papers were not finished, he said he wanted to say to his teacher that he’s the first one to finish it just like his friend “E” (this boy “E” might be one of the bright ones in class and was able to write/colour everything quickly – always the first one to finish it according to DS). He thought by blurting out “I’ve run out of time” he’s the number 1 in the race!
I can see why the school has taken this seriously because in class he appears unsettled, lacking of concentration, and might be potentially carrying violent trait (though I don’t know what they think about the last one, but the fact that he did it twice, it’s more than enough for the school to note it and bring it up!). And his possibility of having ADD didn’t get any lower the fact that I also said to the school that DS is actually like a hurricane at home that he’s so full on, full of energy and could only settle down if he has things he likes to do. He’s not the kind of boy who could sit down daydreaming by himself. But what I’ve seen in the past 1-2 weeks, with consistent reminders he’s able to move around a bit less at home and with the right guidance / routine at home we’re able to avoid constant argument/meltdowns/whines. There are times he starts saying he has nothing to do at home, then we’d need to pick our brains to come up with an activity (not so grand, but simple task, etc). It’s tiring for us when we want to shut our eyes for 5 mins or lay down on the couch just channel browsing, he could often unexpectedly come up to us ‘demanding’ more stuff to do (Yes, he never stops).
I don’t know much about other 5 year olds, but from the observation I’ve collected from school, home and also seeing how he acts in the public I’m divided between many conclusions. I may have seen 4/5/6 year olds still act clingy at home (not to mention sibling fights, etc.) , but they do well at school (without behavioural problem at school) and they are able to follow instructions and obey rules (they respect adults and acknowledge the consequences if they don’t obey).
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