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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    Time for tough love?

    "Mum if you won't do anything about it, stop complaining."

    Sounds, and is, harsh, but really...
    I love my mum too much for this. When you see your own mum crying - and I rarely do, don't think I have seen her cry since my grandma died 20 years ago - it's heartbreaking.

    She won't be around forever. I'd like to see her enjoy the time she has left, not work herself to an early grave.

  2. #22
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    Maybe you could ask around for hairdressers that need a new employee, then approach them about if they would be interested in hiring your mum (describe her work ethic, loyal customers etc), then tell your mum that xyz place are interested in hiring her and all she needs to do is go and meet with them?


    FWIW I have a stubborn, overworked (fulltime!), taken advantage of, upset mother too. I worry that her workplace will be the death of her as her job is so physical as well. But she won't do anything about it despite my advice. She definitely won't leave as she is scared she would not get another job at her age. Hence my above suggestion.
    But yeah I know how you feel. It's very frustrating tbh!

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    sunnygirl79  (15-04-2016)

  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnygirl79 View Post
    I love my mum too much for this. When you see your own mum crying - and I rarely do, don't think I have seen her cry since my grandma died 20 years ago - it's heartbreaking.

    She won't be around forever. I'd like to see her enjoy the time she has left, not work herself to an early grave.
    I never said it would be easy- it's called tough love for a reason.
    You don't have to mean it. It may kickstart her into doing something though.

    And, yes, I speak from experience so I do know.

  5. #24
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    I like tough love for confident people who aren't scared of a bit of change, and will take it as a challenge to do better. I think Sunnygirl's mum is lacking confidence in this area, and tough love may just close off the lines of communication. It could work, but it's a risk....

    Sunnygirl, IMO, slowly does it. One small step at a time - first a CV, then just a quick look on seek...(I just had a look - did you know there are 450 hairdresser jobs on there at the moment?) And ask her the questions I suggested earlier. She needs to hear herself say that she is scared, and come to her own realisation that her current situation is probably worse than being rejected for other jobs. You can't tell her these things - she needs to work it out herself.

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  7. #25
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    I spoke to a close friend of mums (also a hairdresser, knows Boss well) today. She is going to have a chat to mum as she will listen to her. Mum will likely tell her the whole story and truth, whereas I only get snippets. Said friend has come to rescue before so knows the full story.

    The bottom line is mum shouldn't be driven to tears at her age. She is virtually running the shop and they can't afford to lose her. So she can, and needs, to dictate terms. She needs to stand up to her boss and tell her what she is prepared and not prepared to do. She needs to say no when asked unreasonable requests. And initiate some changes within the salon. I believe she has already made positive changes so it's really a matter of taking things a step further.

    Boss has offered to sell mum the business, which is thriving, but mum refused as she is done with having her own business and I think there are a lot of issues with the business and the premises etc. clearly boss knows mum is basically running the business for her.

    Hopefully her friend can give her the kick up the rear she needs to stand up for herself. She even suggested coming up (she lives interstate) to help sort things out.

    From my understanding after taking today, a few changes at work would make things much better for mum, without her having to uproot and find another job. Which she stubbornly refuses to do.

    Hopefully I am off the hook.

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (15-04-2016),TheGooch  (15-04-2016)

  9. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by turquoisecoast View Post
    is the boss paying the employees' super? threatening to report to the ato should make her sit up and listen. the ato takes non compliance in relation to super very seriously.
    This. Exactly this. The ATO is very serious about not paying super. I'm a business owner and my accountant is very clear about this with me.

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    turquoisecoast  (15-04-2016)

  11. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    This. Exactly this. The ATO is very serious about not paying super. I'm a business owner and my accountant is very clear about this with me.
    My mum has had trouble getting super from previous employers and found the ATO very unhelpful in chasing. I believe she is getting it all with this employer - some money was paid into the wrong persons account (so useless is her boss), I can't be sure whether that money has been recovered yet. So in this case it's a mistake rather than blatant refusal to pay it. Hopefully she has it by now.

  12. #28
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    Your mum really does have a choice. She can stand up for herself or let things stay the way they are. Get her to call the right people and not answer her phone when her boss calls. My sister is a hairdresser and her last job (hairdressing) she was on her feet all day with no breaks either. Though she's a lot younger (21), but still isn't right! If her boss does call her and she answers she needs to learn to say "no! Not my shift. Find someone else!" And as for the other workers maybe your mum could hsve a quiet word to them (I'm guessing their younger) about coming in when they're supposed to and not expecting a 60 year old to be on her feet all day!
    I'm really disgusted that people allow this. You said it's your mums FRIEND! Wow! What friend does that!?

  13. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Homeschooling4 View Post
    Your mum really does have a choice. She can stand up for herself or let things stay the way they are. Get her to call the right people and not answer her phone when her boss calls. My sister is a hairdresser and her last job (hairdressing) she was on her feet all day with no breaks either. Though she's a lot younger (21), but still isn't right! If her boss does call her and she answers she needs to learn to say "no! Not my shift. Find someone else!" And as for the other workers maybe your mum could hsve a quiet word to them (I'm guessing their younger) about coming in when they're supposed to and not expecting a 60 year old to be on her feet all day!
    I'm really disgusted that people allow this. You said it's your mums FRIEND! Wow! What friend does that!?
    agree but I think to a degree, people treat us the way we allow them to. the friend is probably so used to having every unreasonable request fulfilled that she probably just thinks it's the norm and her requests aren't that demanding.

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  15. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Homeschooling4 View Post
    Your mum really does have a choice. She can stand up for herself or let things stay the way they are. Get her to call the right people and not answer her phone when her boss calls. My sister is a hairdresser and her last job (hairdressing) she was on her feet all day with no breaks either. Though she's a lot younger (21), but still isn't right! If her boss does call her and she answers she needs to learn to say "no! Not my shift. Find someone else!" And as for the other workers maybe your mum could hsve a quiet word to them (I'm guessing their younger) about coming in when they're supposed to and not expecting a 60 year old to be on her feet all day!
    I'm really disgusted that people allow this. You said it's your mums FRIEND! Wow! What friend does that!?
    It's not my mums friend. They have a mutual friend. Mum knows her because if this friend - didn't mean to imply boss was friends with mum, more of an acquaintance.


 

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