To think back at events with an adult mind, it's often a painful realization.
I have some instances too where I tell myself 'what was my mother thinking!?'
Honestly short of going to see someone professionally to get a clinical perspective of the adults involved I think there's no real black and white solution.
Sometimes I just push the thoughts back as there's nothing to gain from dwelling on them sometimes I'll analyze them and just try to get something positive out of it like 'I'll never do that, I will be more attentive with my children' or what ever.
Hope you're ok OP!