+ Reply to Thread
Page 6 of 6 FirstFirst ... 456
Results 51 to 60 of 60
  1. #51
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    7,829
    Thanks
    5,048
    Thanked
    4,430
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 17/4/15100 Posts in a week

    Default Meant to be

    Deleted. Just read some responses and realise my thoughts and beliefs will upset some people.

    ETA I've finished reading all responses and to be honest I don't understand the different between 'meant to be' or 'fate' or 'luck of the draw' and 'that's just life' type sentiments. It sounds like semantics to me.

    Horrible things aren't exactly 'meant to be' but given most of the time they're out of someone's control or choice or understanding, or unfair or unjust or just plain devastating, what else can you possibly call it?
    Last edited by A-Squared; 10-04-2016 at 19:12.

  2. #52
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Posts
    390
    Thanks
    686
    Thanked
    239
    Reviews
    0
    No, I was told that when I miscarried my first.
    I miscarried my baby because it implanted low or was genetically incompatible with life or because it just happened

    I don't believe there was a higher purpose behind it

  3. #53
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    159
    Thanks
    213
    Thanked
    102
    Reviews
    2
    No, I don't believe in any sort of predestination or plan by the universe/deity.

  4. #54
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    2,377
    Thanks
    1,504
    Thanked
    883
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    Deleted. Just read some responses and realise my thoughts and beliefs will upset some people.

    ETA I've finished reading all responses and to be honest I don't understand the different between 'meant to be' or 'fate' or 'luck of the draw' and 'that's just life' type sentiments. It sounds like semantics to me.

    Horrible things aren't exactly 'meant to be' but given most of the time they're out of someone's control or choice or understanding, or unfair or unjust or just plain devastating, what else can you possibly call it?
    For me, when I say things happen out of our control what I mean is that I don't believe there is a grand plan or higher power that predetermines what will happen before it happens.

  5. #55
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    139
    Thanks
    80
    Thanked
    56
    Reviews
    0
    As the OP....Can I just say that I asked this question because 1. I believe in 'fate' to a degree - a happy degree. I like the feeling I get that when happy things happen, that I deserve them. It could be a guilt thing because there is so much negativity in this world (pretty much everything mentioned, abuse, death, etc.)

    Negative? No. I am a non believer when it comes to the negative. Why did my mother deserve to get early onset dementia and die an undignified death just last year after 10 years of suffering? Why did my abusive, alcoholic father not get that disease? Why did he get leukaemia and die instead? Trust me, I have my fair share of the bad and as a primary school teacher I see my share of the bad for others.

    I suppose I asked this because of my 'on the fence' view when struggling to get pregnant. The FS tells us nothing is wrong. NOTHING she says. Then why the Fk can't I get pregnant? Why should I move onto IVF? I need a reason. Am I forcing something and making a bad decision? Should I make it happen because its what I want.

    I appreciate your replies. Especially those that help me see different views.

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to sprinkelle For This Useful Post:

    A-Squared  (11-04-2016),turquoisecoast  (11-04-2016)

  7. #56
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    3,431
    Thanks
    1,018
    Thanked
    2,081
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    OP I think when you have trouble having a baby, especially when it feels like everyone around you can do it with ease, these thoughts creep into your mind.

    We started Ivf because my partner had a very low count and we put back seemingly perfect embryos only to watch them try to implant, then fail, or get further along and then die. After 3 in a row we absolutely started to think these thoughts, are we ever meant to have a baby. Maybe we just aren't meant to be parents. Sometimes you just have to look at your options and start trying something different and eventually something will work.

    Also don't listen to anyone who says a pregnancy is not "meant to be" for you, if you need fertility treatment.

  8. #57
    SpecialPatrolGroup's Avatar
    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    In the messy house, Brisbane
    Posts
    9,481
    Thanks
    2,180
    Thanked
    5,405
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    OP, I can't give you reason, all I can say is that of having a family matters to you, take the matter into your hands. I suspect that if *meant to be* is a thing (as I said, I'm not buying what it's selling), ivf couldn't side step it anyway so you might as well give it all you've got.
    Last edited by SpecialPatrolGroup; 11-04-2016 at 10:31.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to SpecialPatrolGroup For This Useful Post:

    MsViking  (11-04-2016)

  10. #58
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Victoria
    Posts
    1,868
    Thanks
    3,216
    Thanked
    1,513
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by sprinkelle View Post
    As the OP....Can I just say that I asked this question because 1. I believe in 'fate' to a degree - a happy degree. I like the feeling I get that when happy things happen, that I deserve them. It could be a guilt thing because there is so much negativity in this world (pretty much everything mentioned, abuse, death, etc.)

    Negative? No. I am a non believer when it comes to the negative. Why did my mother deserve to get early onset dementia and die an undignified death just last year after 10 years of suffering? Why did my abusive, alcoholic father not get that disease? Why did he get leukaemia and die instead? Trust me, I have my fair share of the bad and as a primary school teacher I see my share of the bad for others.

    I suppose I asked this because of my 'on the fence' view when struggling to get pregnant. The FS tells us nothing is wrong. NOTHING she says. Then why the Fk can't I get pregnant? Why should I move onto IVF? I need a reason. Am I forcing something and making a bad decision? Should I make it happen because its what I want.

    I appreciate your replies. Especially those that help me see different views.
    Off topic from your original question but DH and I were given the same diagnosis by our FS. I felt the same about going straight to IVF but felt I needed to take some control over our fertility. I'm happy to say we fell pregnant first fresh cycle with our DD, and now also have a newborn DS as a result of our second fresh cycle. To me it's not fate. I believe without IVF DH would not have children. I don't regret a thing.

    Good luck on your journey.

  11. #59
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    908
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    289
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Without IVF we wouldn't have our son. He is happy, healthy, well loved and cared for. So no, I don't agree with anyone that says if you need IVF then maybe you're not meant to have babies. Especially when everyday you turn on the news to some horrible story about child abuse/neglect. Why are those people "meant to have babies" and other good families not.
    You will no doubt hear a lot of negative comments re IVF but generally they're from people who don't know enough about it.

  12. #60
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    7,039
    Thanks
    9,662
    Thanked
    4,985
    Reviews
    7
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Here's an interesting article, made me think of this thread...
    http://truththeory.com/2015/12/01/5-...-for-a-reason/

    ETA- I'm not pushing the notion and understand and can relate to finding the whole "it's meant to be" belief hard to fathom, just wanted to share as I think it highlights the reasoning surrounding those who tend to live by the saying. I'm honestly on the fence with this one. On one hand I want to have faith in the fact that nothing in life is in my control (kind of lessons the fear and "what ifs", if that makes sense) but on the other I can't comprehend how such bad things (as mentioned in this thread) can be predestined. I'm not religious but believe somewhat in fate. And that people come into your life for a reason etc. Definitely not a hardcore believer in the examples addressed in the link, but do find it intriguing.
    Last edited by ~Marigold~; 12-04-2016 at 00:38.

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to ~Marigold~ For This Useful Post:

    Lovebird14  (12-04-2016)


 

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Einsteinz Music
Make music at Einsteinz Music in age-appropriate class in Sydney's Inner West, Eastern Suburbs or North Shore. For ages 6 mths - 4 yrs. All music is live! Christmas Gift certificates available for full term or casual classes. Call 0431 338 143
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
HuggleBib
The HuggleBib is not "just another" baby bib. Sure, your child may be a messy eater who gets more food ON them rather than IN them, so you dread cleaning after feeding times! Well the HuggleBib is THE best solution to help with all these daily tasks!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!