Thanks for your reply. I have tried many times to encourage him to go to counselling or us but he won't. I can't get through at all, brick walls everywhere. It's like he doesn't think my feelings are real or they are exaggerated. I didn't post in awhile because things improved a bit. He is doing things like helping more around the house sometimes (still no nappies or waking up to her at night) and taking her shopping. The more time goes on the more I realise though that he's just super negative and hyper critical of me all the time then when I get sad or try and ask him to help me he says it's my fault. For eg tonight I'm exhausted because I worked from home this morning, went to specialist (turns out I have adenomyosis), took her doctor. Then came home and dealt with her hysterical and overtired while I cooked dinner, lunches, slow cooker, got washing organised etc. he won't put a stair gate because he thinks it spoils the look of the house so I am chasing her every two seconds so she doesn't fal down the stairs. I was literally multi tasking in the extreme, mashing potatoes with the lunch in the oven, dinner on the stove, washing dishes in between, trying to feed and clean up after her. And instead of saying dinner was nice he was really ugly about saying the kitchen was a mess and I should clean as I go. Er I was imagine if I hadn't done that. Also, I've had 5 hours broken sleep because she was up TWO hours screaming last night with molars. She isn't a good sleeper anyway and I haven't slept properly since she was born (13 months). I'm working full time now too. I wanted to gym yesterday for one hour and the first thought of his was "drop her at your mums. I've got nothing left to give. I'm doing my best and I can't do any more than that. I'm so depleted of energy as I've been having hugely heavy bleeds every two weeks. Trying to get it all done. I can't do any more than what I do, I feel like a single mum most days and he is sweet with her and me sometimes but so much is me giving and not getting help back. I feel like I may as we give up because nothing is ever good enough. I walk on egg shells waiting to see what his next mood is and am realising I am becoming fearful or anxious of whether he will be in a good mood or bad mood. I feel sad and broken and depleted and I just feel if he would go to Counselling it would make such a difference but time is sipping away. I Dojt think he really seea how I feel.