I'm having some concerns about my marriage.
I feel angry, frustrated, hurt and alone on a daily basis raising my 11mo daughter.
I know my husband loves us, or at least I thought he did but he comes from a family where everything was always done for him.
My daughter is 11mo tomorrow and he's never bathed her, changed a nappy or cooked her dinner.
He does take her for walks in the pram if I ask just so I can get a break but there was only one or two times he volunteered to do it.
At first there wasn't much he could do. Well it's easy to give that excuse as I am breastfeeding and she spent pretty much all day and night screaming (reflux, dairy intolerant).
I kept hoping he would change but he never does. We have been living with his family and that doesn't help as his mother gets overly involved or interfering a lot and often tries to take over when he does do something.
We or I had issues before this with his temper snapping at me and swearing, name calling. Now I feel like I am parenting alone in terms of all the practical studs.
Every night I bath her while he plays video games, sits on his phone or watches TV. He is a good dad in other ways but it's like he has no idea how exhausted I am. I feel I went to hell and back with a c section, mastitis, food poisioning then pumping around the clock for 8 weeks to be able to feed her fully and his life hasn't changed much.
Id like to get back to the gym but he goes every morning before work plus Saturday and won't stay home during the week and watch her for an hour before work (she's sleeping!) so I can go.
So fed up, I've tried talking so many times but it's like it doesn't go through. Now I pick at tiny things and have become a nag because I'm so angry about all this unresolved stuff.
I'm so angry, I've never felt like this. I don't want another baby and sometimes I don't even want to be near him because the hurt is building up. Im heartbroken. I don't understand how he doesn't WANT to give me a rest sometimes as he can see how hard I'm working and have that time with his daughter. When I try and talk it's like hitting a brick wall. At first I thought he lacked confidence but now I wonder if he truly knows what I need or if he cares enough at all
To follow through.
I think he thinks I will just put Uo with it forever but I can't. I need practical love and for my daughter to see how respect works.
I'm writing this post through tears. I can be a sensitive person but it's like dinners or holidays and the things he enjoyed to show love before don't work anymore, I need him to be there for me in other ways and lose the temper but I just can't get through.
I'm scared as I don't know how I can stay or cope in a relationship when it's like this. I begged him to see a counsellor as I think it would help. He said he would but has never gone. I'm going back to work soon and can't see how this is all going to work. I'm so dissapointed as he was the one who really said how much he wanted kids. Even if he just helps more in his own way. But I don't see how a video game can be a better way to spend his time! Not to mention I do all the household stuff and a whole bunch of other stuff related to a new house we just built. He does do groceries which helps but I need a lot more involvement with me and our child. Half the time e has his phone in his face and I wonder if he cares at all. Feeling so angry and sad.