I'm currently 11+3 pregnant with baby no 2, unplanned. I am suffering from severe morning sickness, to the tune of not being able to feed myself and being seriously dehydrated, cant look after DS, taking Ondasetron to limit the vomiting. And today I found out I have syphillis.
I was clean during 1st trimester screening for DS and I'm pretty sure I've been tested since then but I've switched doctors so they don't have my full history, either way I have it now.
I didn't believe the doctor I yelled at him and told him it was an error and then left and called my boyfriend (been together 9 years) who immediately confessed to cheating on me with other guys, on and off for the duration of our relationship, including a suss encounter within the last year. I was... unhappy. I have never cheated in any way. He immediately booked in to get tested and had treatment today.
He has told me he will give me as much time as I need to deal with this and will leave if I want, for a few days or forever. He says he is so sorry and has cried most of the afternoon. He looks like he has been told he's dying, especially when the doctor told him our baby could be stillborn or be damaged because of this. He is devastated that it could damage our baby (he wants it) and is aghast that I have to have needles to fix this (I have a phobia) and has made no excuses apart from telling me that it has mostly happened when he has been off his antidepressant medication and he knows he messed up bad. He's not trying to blame anyone but himself and is actively trying to fix things with me. We generally have a good relationship and get along well, this is a big shock to me.
I've only just started seeing the positives in my pregnancy (being ill makes me want to die so I've not been very enthusiastic) and now I don't know what to feel or do. My bestie thinks I'm 'scary calm' and honestly I just feel numb now, but I've been feeling in a bubble for weeks and I know I'm not thinking straight. He says he is going to make it up to me no matter what (don't know if he can but he says hes going to try) and I believe he is sincere in his remorse. I need him to care for me and DS and I can see he's trying but I just don't know what to do. a big part of me wants to forget this ever happened. I don't believe he will cheat again, of course I could be wrong. What's your advice?