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  1. #51
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    Rose: Would you be able to give a rough overview of your day? Waking, exercise, when you prep dinner, do washing, tidy-up, bedtime etc.

    You have mentioned in this thread and others various little tricks that seem to help things run smoothly for you (eg cooking dinner overnight in slow cooker). I think your go-with-the-flow is a key factor in helping things run smoothly. I'm thinking there are probably some more practical tricks to be learned from you (for me especially with regards to how you fit in housework etc while looking after the kids).
    - no pressure, totally ok if you don't want to do this.

  2. #52
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    I think another factor to consider on top of everything already mentioned as variables is birth experience. I know I coped with my second child better because I coped with his birth and recovery a lot better.

    Thankfully I didn't also have a toddler to lift as well, but those with small gaps who are recovering from CS, SPD, blood loss etc, IMO would find it much harder coping with the needs of two little ones than someone whose body is almost back to normal post birth.

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  4. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    Does anyone feel that parenting was made worse for them because of they expected roses and got thorns instead? Or that their own personalities made parenting harder? As in a need to regain control ?

    I'm trying to phrase this as best I can without offending anyone.

    Do the parents who struggled with parenting feel that part of their parenting struggle is due to their own ignorance of normal baby behaviour and a need to conform to an idyllic snapshot of motherhood?

    .
    I think this is such a good point. I did ivf, lost quite a few pregnancies and then had a really hard high risk pregnancy so by the time my bub arrived, even though it was hard with sleep deprivation, it was a million times easier than the stress of Ivf and heartbreak of it all. My partner was away for 4-5 weeks at a time the first 7 months but it was ok.

    I think the main hard thing for me was trying to do it all as well as look after baby, so trying to keep everything perfect in the house house/fitness/ things on the home front was hard. Esp on almost zero sleep many days.

    I struggled when he turned into a toddler because he was and is a "spirited child" and I've still never met a kid who can rival his energy. I was constantly exhausted and frazzled trying to keep up with him.
    So I spent a lot of time feeling guilty that I didn't discipline him enough, that I was parenting him wrong as he was so different to all the other toddlers and babies i knew. I compared him to other "normal" kids and looking back I shouldn't have. Now he's close to 3 I've realised its just him, and he doesn't fit the mould and I've had several doctors tell me the same thing so it's easier to deflect the comments i get. It's likely we might get an adhd diagnosis and the signs have been there since infancy so that is something i wasn't prepared for.

    We def went with the flow and im glad we did, we ending up going down a more attachment parenting path but not because of any grand plan it was just what we did. Being flexible is good because you just don't know what kind of kid you'll get it it's def not always rosy!

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  6. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Rose: Would you be able to give a rough overview of your day? Waking, exercise, when you prep dinner, do washing, tidy-up, bedtime etc.

    You have mentioned in this thread and others various little tricks that seem to help things run smoothly for you (eg cooking dinner overnight in slow cooker). I think your go-with-the-flow is a key factor in helping things run smoothly. I'm thinking there are probably some more practical tricks to be learned from you (for me especially with regards to how you fit in housework etc while looking after the kids).
    - no pressure, totally ok if you don't want to do this.
    Sure

    I'm on mat leave now with my 6mth old, almost 4&6yo. Whilst Dh is currently home mostly I can manage without him with little change to my day.

    5.30-7am. I gym if Dh is home. If not I prep/cook dinner I'm slow cooker.
    7-9am - kid wrangle then walk dd1 to school
    9-11.30am. Gym if Dh isn't home and I haven't walked to school. Otherwise an activity IE library, playgroup etc.
    11.30-2.30- lunch and naps. Dd3 goes down around 11.30-45am. I madly do one cleaning job IE bathroom or tidy one room. Dd2 naps 12.30-2.30pm. I refuse to do a anything 1-2.30pm. Usually nap or rest.
    2.30-3.30pm. School pick up either walk or drive.
    3.30-5pm. Homework/play/ bring in washing/if kids happy I might prep the next days meal/bake something. 5-6.30pm. Dinner/kitchen clean up/cluster feed/bath/bed for all.
    7pm. All kids in bed. Do another cleaning job. Dinner prep for next day if it didn't work out earlier. Make salad for next day. Make lunches /pack snacks for everyone including me. We all get lunchboxes.
    8-9/9.30pm. Me time.

    Tip 1- I only cook in double batches and never for that day. Always for next day or for freezer stash.
    Tip 2- eat all meals as a family. It's more time efficient.
    Tip3- bath all kids together. Read to them all together. I feed dd3 whilst sitting on dd2s bed putting them to bed.
    Tip4- exercise is great for exhaustion. I plug in my headphones and breathe out angst.

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  8. #55
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    I'm shattered today. Dd3 was awake 11-3 last night. Dd2 was up for the day at 5am. So I'm at the gym now working thru that frustration.

    I get angry. I get tired. I want to pull my hair out. But none of it is my babies fault. So I get up and just keep going. I need to adjust my attitude. What they do is within normal limits.

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  10. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    I'm shattered today. Dd3 was awake 11-3 last night. Dd2 was up for the day at 5am. So I'm at the gym now working thru that frustration.

    I get angry. I get tired. I want to pull my hair out. But none of it is my babies fault. So I get up and just keep going. I need to adjust my attitude. What they do is within normal limits.
    Firstly hugs days/nights like that sux big time.

    Your second paragraph. It's beautiful and so true.

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  12. #57
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    VP...being a shift worker my days vary so much, but the two biggest things that free up my time during the week are pre-cooking meals (up to a month in advance), and making up lunchboxes (for kids and me), the day before (or I get up at 5.15am and do it before the gym if I've worked an afternoon shift).
    I outsource housework once a fortnight, and there is always a pile of washing hanging around...but it just gets done whenever. The rest of my house stays tidy...it's just the washing basket in the laundry.
    ETA: My kids are all older, so not going to bed until 8.30pm. I don't have downtime of an evening...my downtime comes from having kids at school and being a shift worker means I often am home alone at least one day during the week.
    Last edited by Full House; 09-04-2016 at 09:33.

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  14. #58
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    In your schedule you only mention 1 nap for your DD3. When are her other naps?

  15. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by A-Squared View Post
    In your schedule you only mention 1 nap for your DD3. When are her other naps?
    Probably in the pram when they're out in the morning? At 6 months the baby probably only has two naps. I know my kids all transitioned to one long nap by a year old...the youngest was only 7 months (most likely because that kid NEVER slept when we were out and I refused to be house bound with a toddler and pre-schooler so the baby could nap...first nap out of the house happened at 12 months. I would have been miserable if I had decided to stay home for morning naps).
    Last edited by Full House; 09-04-2016 at 09:41.

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  17. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah View Post
    . So I'm at the gym now working thru that frustration.

    .
    Get off the phone and get cracking on that treddy!


 

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